5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Holiday Shitshow party is about to begin but I need to bounce to see my boy Billy Joel at the garden. Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:02:20 PMTwitter Web Client
There was a Dorito in my beer and I didn't notice and I didn't even leave work yet. Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:01:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Actual work email. Quote of the year. https://t.co/lCfcjMU1IW Thursday, December 10, 2015 12:37:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Just called out a VP for booking a 2016 planning meeting over a thank you lunch scheduled already. Doesn't the fuckin guy check free times? Thursday, December 10, 2015 10:33:13 AMTwitter Web Client
I really need to stop telling everyone at work that I'm going to punch everyone in the face Thursday, December 03, 2015 1:52:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Cheeseburger for breakfast because fuck you, I can. Tuesday, December 01, 2015 9:23:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Just noticed now my background image on Twitter was missing. Supposedly, they removed background color and images in JULY. Asshats Saturday, November 28, 2015 10:26:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin FiOS always goes down in the middle of the night Saturday, November 28, 2015 2:05:13 AMTwitter Web Client
SURPRISE. Foo Fighter's St. Ceclia EP dropped and is phenomenal! And they gave it away digitally for free. Buying this on vinyl STAT. Monday, November 23, 2015 1:40:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @Cisco, you really need to get rid of the @java @anyconnect web browser auto detection. It never works and I can just run the installer. Tuesday, November 17, 2015 7:55:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Angels on the sideline
Baffled and confused 		Wednesday, November 11, 2015 6:48:42 PMTwitter Web Client
They gave our pen testers domain admin access and the security idiots are wondering why they hacked everything. #fuckingidiots Tuesday, November 10, 2015 5:38:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit is ABOUT to go down here at work... Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:43:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Fucking Christ, Kisha. How god damn dumb are you? You've been asking the same questions for 1.5 years and don't learn anything Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:00:10 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/8h76hFZKCn Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:39:53 AMTwitter Web Client
.@googlephotos is slow as fuck playing backed up video. Get your lives together Monday, November 09, 2015 6:49:38 PMTwitter Web Client
The Windows bluetooth stack is a raging piece of shit Monday, November 09, 2015 12:12:29 AMTwitter Web Client
What the hell is twitter thinking with this heart? bring the star back! Wednesday, November 04, 2015 11:27:38 AMTwitter Web Client
I've been mad for fucking years, absolutely years Thursday, October 29, 2015 10:16:41 AMTwitter Web Client
These cunts really think they can say no to me? Oh they made a huge mistake. Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:52:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Enraged at something that happened at work. "Speak softly and carry a big stick..." I will do that. Later, I'll shove it up their fuckin ass Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:35:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I just referred to the Google Play Store as the Android Marketplace... The hell is this, 2010? Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:31:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Poor 'Tolo Wednesday, October 28, 2015 1:19:12 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG I get to see Everclear tonight! 90s FTW Monday, October 26, 2015 2:48:36 PMTwitter Web Client
These cunts still don't understand that we can replace one javascript file instead of an overnight deployment Monday, October 26, 2015 1:35:51 PMTwitter Web Client
These fucking idiots are doing an entire .NET build to fix a line of javascript. Monday, October 26, 2015 11:04:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh I see how it works... Fucking convoluted. If you tick the setting on web, it's different than mobile. Christ Twitter. Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:52:15 PMTwitter Web Client
I changed my email, then changed it back. Now it's texting me fuckin verification codes instead of using the app #failwhale Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:50:42 PMTwitter Web Client
All my fuckin verification requests go to my old phone, and when I tried to fix it, they're saying my email is unconfirmed. THE FUCK Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter is a fuckin piece of shit with the way they handle switching devices and two step login verification. Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Just imported time in Python. Why can't I import time and manipulate it in real life? Friday, October 23, 2015 5:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Oh, I was confused by the changelog "defaults to 5 (notice) instead of 0 (emergency)" I thought it got more verbose
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Friday, October 23, 2015 4:32:26 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev In 378.56 B1, does the increased logging level use more resources? What number should I set for Warnings and higher? Friday, October 23, 2015 3:26:35 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of asshole schedules a 2PM weekly meeting on Fridays. This interferes with my bar run Friday, October 23, 2015 1:15:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Just walked in. Will all you motherfuckers stop talking to me? Christ, I'm not that important. Friday, October 23, 2015 12:31:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Going to try to move a server from our office to our Colo datacenter via Uber... Lets see how that works out... Thursday, October 22, 2015 4:12:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Sourceforge is such a 90s piece of shit with ads and spyware. Need to report a bug to a dev and it's impossible. What idiots still use SF? Thursday, October 22, 2015 10:42:36 AMTwitter Web Client
I feel like this log file is yelling at me. It sternly told me what to not do next time... https://t.co/TYZBBvhRQs Thursday, October 22, 2015 9:59:35 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of real sick (awesome) fuck decided on Youtube Music Red for a product name? Sounds familiar to some other website... Wednesday, October 21, 2015 5:27:19 PMTwitter Web Client
NO, QA manager. I won't re-test the shit you send to our outsourced consultants who are idiots. Hire smarter people. Tuesday, October 20, 2015 1:11:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking security guy needs to stop walking over to look at our network diagram. He should print out his own and go away. Tuesday, October 20, 2015 10:47:31 AMTwitter Web Client
@Fantasy_Mania Commish when his team wins? #maroon5 https://t.co/dsb6JEnD57 Monday, October 12, 2015 1:50:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Anyone else notice that PCs (Windows 8/10) suck balls with Bluetooth devices? Like they rarely connect and always fuck up. Someone fix it. Monday, October 12, 2015 9:59:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin iOS 9.1 and their Unicode 8 and skin tone emojis not displaying on Android. Friday, October 02, 2015 1:44:41 AMTwitter Web Client
This is pissing me off. When you do 'git rev-parse HEAD' in windows, it outputs a line break but not in linux. DAFUQ Thursday, October 01, 2015 4:30:38 PMTwitter Web Client
The quality hires continue #onewayvpntunnel Monday, September 28, 2015 6:06:58 PMTwitter Web Client
New security guy wants us to set up a one way VPN tunnel. #thereisNOhope Monday, September 28, 2015 6:06:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Unreal how the Win 8 dictionary/Skype, both MSFT products auto-correct NuGet to nugget Monday, September 28, 2015 5:09:48 PMTwitter Web Client
NASA's about to announce.... http://t.co/YQblD27OTF Monday, September 28, 2015 11:28:38 AMTwitter Web Client
This guy hasn't shut up since I walked in. Monday, September 28, 2015 11:03:33 AMTwitter Web Client
This is why you buy Motorola or LG Android Phones. Fuck Samsung http://t.co/xonYtlO0Xi #android #feedly Friday, September 25, 2015 3:34:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Bloombito chillin' with the Pope. Guy isn't even mayor anymore and he's still more relevant than idiot @BilldeBlasio http://t.co/EOVmsaVUjk Friday, September 25, 2015 12:30:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ Cisco. I know you've been trying to fuck the married marketing girl for like 4 months already but be more discrete about it. Thursday, September 24, 2015 6:06:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Toppi's Minions shirt is straight up gold Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:48:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Black Keys - Rubber Factory is a great album to fuck to.#jussayin Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:47:36 PMTwitter Web Client
My tweets are like 10,000x better when I'm drunk... Past week. Lame. Today? Gold. Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:41:51 PMTwitter Web Client
🎶 What about the night,
Makes you change, yeah,
Oh, from sweet,
To deranged? 🎶 		Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:38:00 PMTwitter Web Client
eh who the fuck am I kidding. Was always more of an ass man. Just ask Simmons.They called me Spanky in college.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:32:59 PMTwitter Web Client
More of a Katy Perry fan myself. Better boobs.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:32:17 PMTwitter Web Client
My GF is hammered right now. I can tell by peering across this office........... Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:30:50 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/ypQ9bcRern Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:30:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah, in case you were wondering, that is a nip of Patron on my desk.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:23:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Out new security guy is intimidating the fuck out of me. We're all hammered and he's a hardcore dude not drinking, probably judging us. Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:22:43 PMTwitter Web Client
This pope is a cool dude. I'm perfectly ok with him ruining my commute and NYC experience tomorrow Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:21:24 PMTwitter Web Client
#aintnobodydoingwork Got back from the bar and my office did an open bar #dranksondranksondranks Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:08:52 PMTwitter Web Client
DAFUQ. 5 mins after I come back from the bar at lunch, my office sets up a full bar in celebration of things I can't disclose #NDA Thursday, September 24, 2015 4:37:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Protip: Drink a bucket of beer at lunch, then have a shot. Thursday, September 24, 2015 4:23:37 PMTwitter Web Client
@BadPointer Quoted your boss in an email
In reply to @BadPointer's tweet
Thursday, September 24, 2015 1:52:25 PMTwitter Web Client
This isn't a temporary solution. It'll prevent exceptions from occurring. The long term solution is to rewrite the UI (which is not a joke) Thursday, September 24, 2015 1:49:17 PMTwitter Web Client
THE MOST GOOSEBUMPS https://t.co/uoULJCyPmP Thursday, September 24, 2015 10:04:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Google Play music/movies is all jacked up right now. Thursday, September 24, 2015 9:15:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Am I going to hell that I'm more excited for Pearl Jam on Sunday than the Pope? #PopeinNYC Thursday, September 24, 2015 9:08:33 AMTwitter Web Client
Thank Christ summer is over. Bring on the cold Wednesday, September 23, 2015 9:07:48 AMTwitter Web Client
GOD MISERABLE DAMNIT. Just 1 hour after I went on call, just went to bed and I get a motherfucking alert. Wednesday, September 23, 2015 1:44:19 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Please always keep tweeting ridic things your students say.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, September 22, 2015 3:11:22 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to start a Jock Jams party in the office, you guys Friday, September 18, 2015 5:25:07 PMTwitter Web Client
I've gotta take a huge shit and have an hour meeting with useless VP #2 Friday, September 18, 2015 11:25:08 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG. I am THIS close to telling our VP of product who asked me a stupid fuckin question to read our help site. Friday, September 18, 2015 10:57:24 AMTwitter Web Client
A bunch of bumbling ijits on this call Wednesday, September 16, 2015 12:06:56 PMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ DEEZ NUTZZZ
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:39:12 PMTwitter Web Client
another test Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:38:32 PMTwitter Web Client
UM PUT ON VH1 CLASSIC IMMIJITLY. IT'S LIKE 90s ROCK VIDEOS (PS VH1 Classic? Really? I'm so old) Wednesday, September 09, 2015 1:37:49 PMTwitter Web Client
OMG. Everything was configured just fine, but it's because they merged fuckin code in from 3 versions ago and the app broke. #shitsgottastop Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:27:58 AMTwitter Web Client
These cocksucking consultants in India just paged my oncall because a fucking dev environment was down. #die Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:11:33 AMTwitter Web Client
The internet on the west coast is all jacked right now Wednesday, September 02, 2015 1:40:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ, the @MTA sucks 12 dicks. Reliable service, cunts http://t.co/YTEeweBFjd Wednesday, September 02, 2015 12:37:51 PMTwitter Web Client
What the fuck @GooglePlay Music? Your playlists don't advance anymore? It's like Repeat-1 is stuck. Playing the same shit looping Tuesday, September 01, 2015 5:41:23 PMTwitter Web Client
@Windows 10 + @Skype are being cocksuckers right now. When someone sends you a skype image, it asks you which program to use EVERY TIME. Monday, August 31, 2015 5:50:01 PMTwitter Web Client
This place is a motherless shithole Friday, August 28, 2015 11:57:51 AMTwitter Web Client
John needs to shut his whore mouth. Stupid bastard. Friday, August 28, 2015 10:54:44 AMTwitter Web Client
I can't even take a shit here without someone looking for me Friday, August 28, 2015 10:37:31 AMTwitter Web Client
These fuckers and their shitty code introduced a stack overflow that kills our web server and now it's my problem? Friday, August 28, 2015 9:47:07 AMTwitter Web Client
This guy really needs to shut the fuck up Wednesday, August 26, 2015 12:37:03 PMTwitter Web Client
BB King's in NYC is like the best place ever. EVERCLEAR will be there in October. askdhfgbaskldfjbhaldskfjal sd OMG #takemebacktothe90s Tuesday, August 25, 2015 1:35:09 PMTwitter Web Client
China is the fucking ruination of everything. Polluting the earth, the economy. Jesus Christ, China Monday, August 24, 2015 12:28:50 PMTwitter Web Client
"I'm saying this with a girl present so it's not sexist" - Edgar Friday, August 21, 2015 4:46:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Samsung. I despise their Android phones. http://t.co/1R5I0mwMnK Friday, August 21, 2015 4:26:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I am also officially predicting a repeat of the 2008 recession. Mark my words. The fucking federal reserve ruins everything. Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:59:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Shits gotta stop. I fucking hate hot weather
http://t.co/3i5fO92MuG 		Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:53:52 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the MOST useless call in this history of all meetings ever Monday, August 17, 2015 11:01:54 AMTwitter Web Client