5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| I was an asshole not to see this: http://t.co/jn1681Gbc6 Could have gone too | Monday, June 23, 2014 11:57:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Morons over at Foursquare question my supreme QA skills. Clear my cache and cookies bro? Really? READ THE TICKET http://t.co/rIecwJakFx | Wednesday, June 18, 2014 2:32:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just tried to change the category of my company on Foursquare from Tech Startup to Circus. Let's see if another superuser approves | Tuesday, June 17, 2014 12:38:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I find it hysterical that I was out for days and 10 people couldn't figure something out I just fixed in 30 seconds #FAIL | Monday, June 16, 2014 1:06:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Am I the only person in the world who doesn't give a fuck about the world cup? | Monday, June 16, 2014 12:58:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If you pronounce it Jinx, you're an asshole @H9RBSjs Debate of the day: "Engine X" vs. "Jinx": What is the correct pronunciation of "nginx"? | Monday, June 16, 2014 12:13:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our software's such a piece of shit this infographic went out in the weekly round up. I kid you not... http://t.co/2IW0NsUlBd | Monday, June 16, 2014 9:49:02 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I've got this new dev trying to explain to me how some app works. Except, he doesn't realize I wrote said app 2 years ago. #Fail | Wednesday, June 11, 2014 5:02:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cuncel da build system http://t.co/R6ttXvICSE | Wednesday, June 11, 2014 10:01:55 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "Hi. The build system sucks. Please rearchitect it from scratch" #die | Tuesday, June 10, 2014 5:09:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our marketing department just sent a company-wide email saying we improved our SEO and to Google us and click on ads. Um... That costs $$$ | Tuesday, June 10, 2014 8:23:37 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Some fucker just put a dump of our entire company website database in the site's web root. For fuck's sake. | Wednesday, June 04, 2014 5:30:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "hey Joe, if I wanted [version on QA], do I need to open servicedesk ticket? Give you $5? Blow John? what's the process now?" | Wednesday, June 04, 2014 2:42:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| That's it folks! I've just cuncelled my company. CUNCEL. They are finished. | Tuesday, June 03, 2014 5:17:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cross training an engineer on the rollouts. His response: "Dude, this is infuriating. No wonder you're mad all the time" #iquitsoon | Tuesday, June 03, 2014 4:31:02 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If I submit this to our piece of shit ticketing system, you think anyone will even read this? Work with incompetents http://t.co/x6Fya9zY4n | Monday, June 02, 2014 5:29:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Two of my engineers have been spending 40 minutes investigating a false alarm. JESUS CHRIST GET ME OUT OF HERE | Monday, June 02, 2014 3:53:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| How do I filter iOS 8 shit out of my news reader because I don't give a fuck | Monday, June 02, 2014 3:20:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| So fuck that noise. I'm going on twitter and barstool the rest of the day. | Monday, June 02, 2014 3:17:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I hope this fucking place burns to the ground. Why do I even bother making suggestions when they get rudely shot down and my idea is better | Monday, June 02, 2014 3:16:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm gonna fuckin punch someone in the face today. | Monday, June 02, 2014 3:13:18 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Asked bossman to update a support ticket with more info I researched. he said no, I should do it. I don't have access to the ticket. FUCK U | Monday, June 02, 2014 10:13:50 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| One of my Russians told me the following: "You either drink and smoke, or you die healthy" apparently the expression is catchier in Russian. | Thursday, May 29, 2014 10:04:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin guy is over at our desks every 5 minutes asking for progress and giving new tasks. How is anything supposed to get finished? | Wednesday, May 28, 2014 5:22:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My boss and I simultaneously screaming at the director of Engineering was fantastic. | Wednesday, May 28, 2014 5:21:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @__JLu I don't see how they're that good. Just utterly ridiculous. If it makes people smile, my job is done... | Wednesday, May 28, 2014 1:35:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My boy Pat is a degenerate. Regarding the server maintenance, he sent the best email. "they're like fuck that noise" http://t.co/cgBdX3jxvS | Tuesday, May 27, 2014 9:54:03 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fucking Time Warner. I logged in on your ISP assholes, you can't even detect me? http://t.co/wwb38JCGwu | Saturday, May 24, 2014 2:41:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Let me kick it to you a little something like this: I'd rather be a subway performer than to work in this corporate assed startup | Thursday, May 22, 2014 10:05:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| The golden rule to determine whether or not two coworkers are banging is: if there's the slightest suspicion, then yes, they're banging | Wednesday, May 21, 2014 5:06:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| So the frontend intern and product intern are fucking, right? My coworkers fucking radar is 100% on point. | Wednesday, May 21, 2014 5:04:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Foo Fighters are putting all their shit on SoundCloud. Yeah DAVE. (PS I buy foo records, so whatever) https://t.co/pf3lfnX74j | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 5:19:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This kid's a stud. He's obviously going straight for the pussy: http://t.co/J1500tnaeI | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 4:37:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cut me off and shut me up? Fine. I won't talk to you the rest of the day. Fuck off | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 3:27:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Closing out old abandoned tickets. Very tempted to close them all with "Don't give a fuck about your bitch ass request, ho" | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 12:51:17 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Listening to Wasting Light and OMG DAVE GROHL. Missed this album | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 12:47:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin. Shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Hasn't shut his trap all morning since I walked in. I don't even give a fuck about your jibber jabber | Tuesday, May 20, 2014 11:27:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is the jokeshop who manages our DBAs, yet refuses to make decisions... It's time to move on... http://t.co/czl6iBzm4Z | Friday, May 16, 2014 5:01:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "You made me look like a freak in front of J Lo" - Jennifer Lawrence.... Girl, we know you're already a freak. https://t.co/KUlcRBOWpg | Friday, May 16, 2014 1:34:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Actual Metro North poster... Very poor wording. Delays DO happen often, and I'm never glad. Fuckers. http://t.co/Y98iLV2LBf | Friday, May 16, 2014 2:00:58 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| On the phone with Time Warner Cable. Blood pressure is slowly increasing | Thursday, May 15, 2014 8:13:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| OMG New Foo Fighters this fall and a 8 part mini series on HBO. vnsldkbgaslkgnas djbaskhdbvaskldbfaklsdjbgaksjdbf #DAVEGROHL #OBSESSED | Thursday, May 15, 2014 8:04:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Someone needs to run McGivern over with a bulldozer | Wednesday, May 14, 2014 4:50:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This meeting tho http://t.co/Dtf9yP0LHx | Wednesday, May 14, 2014 4:46:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| [10:57:24 AM] CLICK CLICK BOOM [10:57:35 AM] that song is the anthem of our platform | Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:57:52 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| FUCKIN COCKSUCKERS I SUCK AT MY FUCKING JOB. | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 5:00:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Rollin down the street, smokin indo, shuttin off DNS | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 11:25:51 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Anyone else ever roll prod code directly from the shitter? #TMI? Basically how I feel about this place. ;) | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:29:05 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Verizon sucks a dick at 3G - 4G handoffs. The fuck does 3G still even exist anymore. Such nonsense | Monday, May 12, 2014 8:46:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Not to be a cocky asshole or anything, but when I actually ran shit in this joint instead of the idiot suits, the shit hit the fan less. | Monday, May 12, 2014 4:51:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| this new mute feature is baller. What's the over/under like 95% of my followers mute me for batshit tweets. Whatever | Monday, May 12, 2014 1:47:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ladies and Gentlemen, our VP of Service Deivery: http://t.co/JsTQ80doJu | Friday, May 09, 2014 10:52:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Reviewing our "standard operating procedures" written by this suit asshole who doesn't understand tech. A bunch of rubbish bullshit. F- | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 10:23:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cockiest signature ever, said no one ever: "Sent from my Windows Phone. Which is better than your iPhone." Except I work with this dude... | Tuesday, May 06, 2014 9:38:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| JLaw yacked in Madonna's house, got told to get it together by Miley and smelled Bradd Pitt. I am fine with these antics | Friday, May 02, 2014 10:41:32 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just Marked Dakota Roadhouse closed on Foursquare. It's a sad day. | Friday, May 02, 2014 10:29:39 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This new Foursquare company strategy is fucking bullshit. This will kill the whole platform, guaranteed: http://t.co/YwTkeao5J1 | Thursday, May 01, 2014 9:13:36 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Have I mentioned lately that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit? http://t.co/hmcLGjhyj8 | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 4:32:02 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our alcoholic sysops team is arguing over how the new on call schedule will fit into our drinking habits | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 2:55:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The B.O. originating from my boss is kind of out of control for a white guy. Two cubes down. | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:57:03 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| What's the over under the girl who wrote this letter has been executed? I'd say probably 80/20 http://t.co/DCILM98R53 | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:30:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| The grammar in this email made me cry. I judged harshly. http://t.co/OWnDal2iHx | Tuesday, April 29, 2014 9:41:45 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "How do I go about creating more space/compressing the C drive?" -Actual support ticket. Yes. We'll just create extra HD sectors out of air | Monday, April 28, 2014 5:27:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Interviewed a guy and asked him to compare F5 and A10 load balancers. "A10 isbetter because it is 5 more and an A is better than an F" | Monday, April 28, 2014 3:33:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Take Ray Bans out of case. Frame is cracked in two and the lens fell out. Happy Monday to you also, cunts | Monday, April 28, 2014 10:33:57 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| If you ask me a question the second I walk in before I'm settled, or Skype me within the first 5 minutes I'm here, you're a fuckin asshole | Monday, April 28, 2014 9:14:25 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our CTO doesn't understand why we shouldn't do a tier 2 firewall installation the same night as a major rollout </facepalm> #dumbass | Friday, April 25, 2014 1:48:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If you spell Michelle with one L, you're an asshole | Friday, April 25, 2014 1:34:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| REG DELETE /y HKLM\Software\Policies\Google Ya fuckin cocksuckers | Friday, April 25, 2014 10:09:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| IT is now pushing corporate policies to change my chrome homepage, and it's corrupting my profile daily. Time to move along. | Friday, April 25, 2014 9:37:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Company just did a scavenger hunt for answers on our intranet. if I didn't win this shit, they're fuckin mistaken. I RUN THIS BITCH | Thursday, April 24, 2014 1:27:14 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My shirt's on inside out. Blow me if you don't like it. | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:07:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @MalJNew Fuck Nickelback | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:05:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Four years ago today was Tour de Fairfield. How Haliskoe didn't kill us with his DWI remains a miracle... | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 4:17:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Greg Kelly on #GDNY is a clown and I love it. | Tuesday, April 22, 2014 8:31:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "I want to peel my banana the way I don't have to spit something out of my mouth" - Colin | Monday, April 21, 2014 5:37:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @__JLu Watched it the whole way through my junior year. Streamed it to Cleary's XBox. Way before streaming was cool. Fantastic series. | Monday, April 21, 2014 3:25:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I really hope no one comes near me that much right now, considering I went to town on beers at the bar and smell like a brewpub | Thursday, April 17, 2014 3:06:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Michael Kay with the worst joke in the history of baseball broadcasting https://t.co/lqSL2czzkI | Thursday, April 17, 2014 7:22:03 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's very apparent that these fuckers don't trust me any more and will hardly let me touch production | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 4:01:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gassy as a bastard | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 3:42:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| FIREFOX IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 2:36:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| THE MTA DID SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE: http://t.co/vdtUMs1epp | Tuesday, April 15, 2014 9:15:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I just watched the most horrifying sandy vagina commercial... It is not on Youtube, or else I'd troll everyone with it... | Tuesday, April 15, 2014 12:57:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| My heel feels fantastic. Thank you to my nurse mother who loves splinters - took a giant piece of glass out of it. | Monday, April 14, 2014 5:14:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm mad fucked up... hhhh | Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:43:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| solamente tweetar en español | Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:38:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If you ever have to work with SQL Server Integration Services, kindly kill yourself. This technology is BULLSHIT | Friday, April 11, 2014 5:51:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| ear secks tho: https://t.co/7h4diKvqrA | Friday, April 11, 2014 4:56:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Apparently, that error means that my password was too long. Fucking assholes In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Useful fucking error message, @Microsoft. Tells me exactly what's wrong http://t.co/xfH1xEz0En | Friday, April 11, 2014 4:17:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gonna need to work with Tun Tun in a bit. Be right back while I get an interpreter. | Friday, April 11, 2014 3:35:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Everyone is bitching about Scandal and how it sucked tonight. I couldn't even tell you what the show was about off the top of my head... | Friday, April 11, 2014 2:33:24 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Google still hasn't improved hangouts since it launched and it's still more of a piece of shit than old GChat | Friday, April 11, 2014 2:00:14 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| There is no saving this place. We're beyond fucked | Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:56:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @kerbear88 Just got a push notification to my phone that JPJ just joined Instagram | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 5:31:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm a Gmail Abuser. My GScript went awry... Whoopise http://t.co/jHTHjX7qmA | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 4:07:02 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cuncel my fantasy team this week. @tomwcleary is running train all over Emilio's Big Guys | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:22:50 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Buncha douchebags at Home Depot pointing out that I saved NOTHING. 0. NIL http://t.co/hR8FGHven9 | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:13:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fucking project managers. When I don't answer because they asked a stupid question, all they can do is escalate to VPs who are more clueless | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 2:16:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: Someone reached out about bars before the Yankee game with "Do you know the bodega where you can smoke weed in the back?" N… | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 1:21:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I have a "pizza party lunch with the CTO" . Going to have a fucking blast. 😴 👎 | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 11:59:39 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our security guy has had the largest boner the past couple of days because of this heartbleed vulnerability. BRO RELAX | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 10:51:49 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I need a fuckin interpreter to understand this dude Tun Tun. No fucking clue what this guy is even talking about | Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:41:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New Twitter redesign wasn't yet pushed to me, but it's some BULL shit. I hardly use Facebook because it's over cluttered. No need to copy | Tuesday, April 08, 2014 4:40:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Frusciante's new album blows. Get back on the drugs man, your current shit's weak | Tuesday, April 08, 2014 1:21:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Overheard from my mouth in the office: "Where are all the managers, and why don't they know jack shit? Bunch of morons." | Tuesday, April 08, 2014 12:13:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Yankee home opener and I'm fixing fucking config files because PMs are useless and suck at life | Monday, April 07, 2014 3:07:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gonna run train on those $3 Coors lights at O'Haras in a couple minutes | Friday, April 04, 2014 12:35:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Whether you like Ron Paul or not, you gotta agree that Liberatarian girl is just about a smokeshow: http://t.co/ejGhNgWMFV | Friday, April 04, 2014 9:42:58 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm uncoordinated as fuck right now | Friday, April 04, 2014 9:35:07 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| 40 Oz. to Freedom = the most productive I've been in weeks! | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 11:06:11 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Listening to 40 Oz. to Freedom as it's getting warmer is just about the most fantastic thing possible | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:50:01 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I am walking around the office drinking water out of a a wine glass because fuck it, why not. | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 2:58:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dakota bar closed. A little piece of me died inside. WHERE AM I GONNA GET DRUNK ON THEM 90S ROCK TUNES YOU GUYS | Friday, March 28, 2014 5:18:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @__JLu Not gonna lie, every tweet I write, I think about the best possible wording with the end goal of you favoriting it. | Friday, March 28, 2014 4:05:13 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| BRING ME A BEER CUNTS | Friday, March 28, 2014 3:53:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is exactly what it's like where I work. http://t.co/nboungzi5z | Friday, March 28, 2014 11:46:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm going to punch someone in the face this morning | Friday, March 28, 2014 9:35:32 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Emma Stone. Just sayin | Thursday, March 27, 2014 5:08:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If I keep running my mouth at this shithole, I'm getting fired. | Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:21:41 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Stein's blasting 90s techno #PumpUpTheJam | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 5:57:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin: "Whenever someone says Smoke in the rollout chat, I imagine they're playing a smoking game... App8 is rolled...everyone smoke!" | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 2:05:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Booker. We divide by 0 | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 8:59:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Place is so fucked. @MalJNew takes one sick day and we're at a standstill on the grounds that SUITS DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING #FeelBetter | Monday, March 24, 2014 3:00:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| You can't even begin to describe how fucking shitty my fantasy baseball team is | Monday, March 24, 2014 1:10:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I think I almost punched a guy in the face the last time I drank with Russians. And I don't fight. | Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:58:04 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Might be a little less intense tonight though, as Alexey is missing. | Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:57:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Last time I was at the Russian place, I don't remember being at the Russian place and Uncle Vanya charged us a $200 cleanup fee | Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:57:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Russian programmers + Niraj just invited us out to the Russian place. This cannot and will not end well. | Thursday, March 20, 2014 6:56:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| MSMQ is a piece of shit | Thursday, March 20, 2014 11:52:55 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Whoever fuckin burnt popcorn in here is an asshole | Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:57:37 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm handwriting a formal letter. Legit haven't done this since middle school. The struggle is real. | Wednesday, March 19, 2014 9:33:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| There's a baby downstairs screaming bloody murder | Tuesday, March 18, 2014 8:27:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| How am I supposed to carry on with my GSexting if Gchat is down? | Monday, March 17, 2014 1:15:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| After a dev explained how he fixed an infinite loop causing cascading failures in our system: "At least it wasn't a gremlin" - Stein | Monday, March 17, 2014 11:41:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| F that noise. Glad I don't have to deal with this BS: RT @briandonathan Grand Central Terminal. #EastHarlemExplosion http://t.co/OYWxRU6aBV | Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:46:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| When we make a one line bugfix in our app: http://t.co/A1ECzqnbhl | Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:44:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This client can 100% suck a fucking dick | Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:43:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I hope this place burns to the ground | Thursday, March 06, 2014 4:34:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm at a loss for words how disrespectful and awful this guy is. | Thursday, March 06, 2014 2:37:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| NO WONDER THE INTERNET SUCKED HERE. 1980s wiring and like 10 splitters | Wednesday, March 05, 2014 2:17:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This release is the biggest piece of shit going | Tuesday, March 04, 2014 1:59:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Viruses blow my mind: http://t.co/LuWXoGm1zX | Monday, March 03, 2014 7:21:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Welp, this release is about as legitimate as Time Warner Cable | Monday, March 03, 2014 2:06:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Verizon 4G. Now faster than Time Warner http://t.co/dNy2egHIz1 | Monday, March 03, 2014 1:41:43 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Got an AJ Burnett #34 Yankee Jersey couple years back as a groomsman gift. Guy sux. Now, McCann's got that number. ENJOYYYYYY #Winning | Saturday, March 01, 2014 2:36:52 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If I ever start managing like McGivern, please do me a favor and shoot me in the fuckin head. We'd all be better off. | Thursday, February 27, 2014 4:05:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's hard being young from the slums eatin' 5 cent gums wonderin' where you're next meal's comin from | Thursday, February 27, 2014 3:44:33 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Average page load time increased from 2-4 seconds for 2 minutes. We are classifying this as an outage. FUCKING IDIOTS | Thursday, February 27, 2014 11:20:16 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| OMG this is the sex. Gonna flash custom firmware on this bitch https://t.co/ghSBMhixra | Thursday, February 27, 2014 12:54:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| About to buy a $200 home router because I'm batshit crazy. Fuckin boss tho: http://t.co/c00hbhxeDw | Thursday, February 27, 2014 12:35:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I can't think over Gabe's constant fucking babbling | Monday, February 24, 2014 9:59:20 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This cocksucker needs to stop asking me if I finished my scripts yet. Asking me 10 times per minute doesn't make me work faster. | Friday, February 21, 2014 12:20:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin pissed that I'm listening to McGivern babble instead of getting drunk at @SaloonNYC and watching the Olympics with @KFCBarstool | Friday, February 21, 2014 11:00:03 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Someone around here smells like fucking dog food | Thursday, February 20, 2014 11:20:19 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Verizon just sent over a Consuela to work on our fiber. Woman looks like a cleaning attendant, not a fiber installer/ tech. | Thursday, February 20, 2014 11:02:23 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| They also did this shit with the password form where it randomly assigns CSS selectors. HURR DERRR I got around it | Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:09:44 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Bitches over at dyndns delete your shit if you don't log in monthly. Wrote automation + task scheduler to auto log in every other week. WIN | Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:09:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Idiot: "Hey Joe, Can you get me X by tomorrow? No rush." Me: "ok" Idiot (2 hrs later): "So did you do it yet?" #FUCKOFF | Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:24:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| But we decide which is right. And which is an illusion. | Sunday, February 16, 2014 9:01:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @XtinaSchelin I've increased the 10.0 release dumpster fire status from red hot to white hot In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Thursday, February 13, 2014 2:44:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's fucking Nigeria. This is not shocking: http://t.co/EpeeUhdxRF | Thursday, February 13, 2014 12:50:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I WORK HERE: http://t.co/slTYmbCBzG | Wednesday, February 12, 2014 10:41:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I just got back to my desk cunts. Let me catch up for a sec before you line up. #fuckoff | Tuesday, February 11, 2014 2:01:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| We dropped 9961 packets, but lost 0% of packets. Fucking Microsoft http://t.co/vGysr6GIng | Monday, February 10, 2014 5:17:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This place sux | Monday, February 10, 2014 4:14:36 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I don't want this rubber band machine gun. I NEED this rubber band machine gun: http://t.co/k1ay7q6Iax I'd get SO fired if I had this... | Thursday, February 06, 2014 4:39:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Love when I get alerts like this. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG, GUYS http://t.co/rWX5nZ4eAR | Thursday, February 06, 2014 2:28:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| McGivern 2016! http://t.co/XkQlowqJAJ | Wednesday, February 05, 2014 7:16:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| CC: @Onethirdof3x5 @Fantasy_Mania RT @BarstoolJJ Literally not one person has ever had a bad time listening to the Ignition (Remix) In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Wednesday, February 05, 2014 4:54:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I have a VP who sends emails in Comic Sans. It is time to move on. | Tuesday, February 04, 2014 5:06:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin. Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP | Tuesday, February 04, 2014 10:08:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| bossman has a sausage pizza unattended on his desk. Trying SO hard to not pick off sausage slices... | Monday, February 03, 2014 1:33:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| 11% ABV beer in our office keg. We kicked it. Needless to say, we're playing football | Friday, January 31, 2014 8:27:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Blasting Creedence and modifying config files so we pass our audit. | Friday, January 31, 2014 4:44:09 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @KeriAHarrison @VtotheFlo Fuck a Call Me Maybe singalong to get me through Friday. Free 11% ABV beer gets me through a Friday In reply to @KeriAHarrison's tweet | Friday, January 31, 2014 4:40:17 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| COLIN: http://t.co/cenZow8Fal | Friday, January 31, 2014 4:20:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I mean.. Shouting out "I feel like I smell like goat cheese" out of context in the office sounds really funny to the... 12 people around you | Friday, January 31, 2014 2:08:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why wont this fucking service start? | Friday, January 31, 2014 1:56:46 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Genius though. Gabe Bar - Not that there's anything wrong with it. Killer slogan. Would make bank. | Friday, January 31, 2014 1:54:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gabe legit has a bar on his desk. Like 10 bottles. I call it the Gabe Bar, but he gets pissed off. Say "Gabe Bar" 5 times fast....... | Friday, January 31, 2014 1:54:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Honestly, I'd bang this sandwich. Grilled eggplant, goat cheese, tomato, balsamic, roasted peppers and arugula. NOMS | Friday, January 31, 2014 1:19:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Hey! My 2014 paycheck had $3 less taxes taken out. ZOMG THX OBAMA. Because you know, he personally controls everything here... | Friday, January 31, 2014 9:50:05 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| cocksucking time warner can't even handle a god damn voice chat without dropping | Thursday, January 30, 2014 10:00:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New engineer asked me if I was sure I was using the right build server. Um yes. I've been release engineer here for 2 years. #facepalm | Thursday, January 30, 2014 4:24:18 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Broken Bells album leaked. Shit is tight | Wednesday, January 29, 2014 3:14:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just typed pussy into my command prompt instead of putty.... | Wednesday, January 29, 2014 1:07:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The director of UX is wearing a ridiculous outfit. This is who we hire for DESIGN? Guy looks like a fucking clown | Wednesday, January 29, 2014 10:41:44 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| They teach you to flatten your fucking organization in business school, not add layers of useless management. #justsayin | Tuesday, January 28, 2014 11:45:51 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Got invited out for free dranks by a client. They can go fuck themselves. They suck so bad, I don't want their drinks. | Tuesday, January 28, 2014 9:38:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Maybe they're speaking Jive #Airplane Seriously though. I can't tell if it's an accent or another language. | Monday, January 27, 2014 9:35:54 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I have a legit question. Do Jamaicans speak another language? Because out IT guys keep talking and it sounds like English but I have no clue | Monday, January 27, 2014 9:35:06 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| OMG DAVE GROHL. I HAVE THE GAY FOR HIM | Sunday, January 26, 2014 9:05:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Person should be assassinated: http://t.co/CYOQzexR13 | Saturday, January 25, 2014 12:21:53 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @XtinaSchelin YOU CRAY GURRRRRLLLLLLLL In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Friday, January 24, 2014 5:55:54 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @dannyrob88 better than the MTA son In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet | Friday, January 24, 2014 5:44:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Windows 8 weather app thinks it's 82 degrees in New York. FOR SURE NOT. It's less than the reciprocal of 82... http://t.co/Bmnk8BLp2e | Friday, January 24, 2014 5:43:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @XtinaSchelin: These fuckers keep up with the flashing lights, Imma go over there with the tiiiniest hammer and break each of them, whil… | Friday, January 24, 2014 11:40:52 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Bullshit in, bullshit out... Mad, so my script will contain asinine comments: #pantiesinabunchoverconfigfiles http://t.co/I4VSfuMuCL | Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:37:04 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Google auto pushed a totally busted version of Chrome Canary that doesn't even start. Idiots. https://t.co/kEPgrkpLKD | Thursday, January 23, 2014 11:25:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our VP of Engineering needs to stop being a fucking pussy and sucking our client's dick. | Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:58:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin. I don't give a fuck about SQL Server 2012, certs and encryption. Shut up | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 3:49:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| My beard is excellent. Need the red and black lumberjack (with the hat to match) #biggie | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 1:06:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin, stop talking to me about actual work. I'm trying to use company time to work on a side project. | Tuesday, January 21, 2014 2:25:18 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin, shut the fuck up | Tuesday, January 21, 2014 12:10:36 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| On our lockscreen, all you have to do is view source, find the unlock function and enter it in JS console. VALIDATE IT ON BACKEND ASSHATS | Tuesday, January 21, 2014 10:00:27 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| In honor of MLK day, I share his personality: http://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality | Monday, January 20, 2014 9:45:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Puppies are cute tho | Monday, January 20, 2014 8:11:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just realized that my part of the office is a sausagefest... #frontend and #sysops. | Monday, January 20, 2014 4:50:56 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| CTO was not pleased that I was blasting 40 Oz to Freedom on my DevOps TV | Friday, January 17, 2014 4:44:31 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I smell like something illegal and I'm at work and it's driving me crazy and i;m sure it's in my head I NEED MORE BEER | Friday, January 17, 2014 4:25:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| McGivern you fuckin waste. Your out of office is a joke http://t.co/Qyh2BvDpOZ | Friday, January 17, 2014 11:12:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Can't wait for this Broken Bells album to drop | Friday, January 17, 2014 9:35:46 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| "This is your lobby command station. A fire alarm was activated due to a smoke condition. It is a false alarm" #assholes | Thursday, January 16, 2014 12:14:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Had to change my tiled fuck you background to something darker because it looked way too white. Much better | Wednesday, January 15, 2014 10:22:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The fuck. Twitter desktop site redesign is whack | Wednesday, January 15, 2014 10:15:50 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| LETS MIGRATE AN ENTIRE FUCKING DRUPAL INSTANCE FROM A DEBIAN BASED OS TO CENTOS IN <1 DAY YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 7:07:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @kerbear88 Tsk tsk. Project managers... All they do is break engineers' balls and set unrealistic expectations ;) In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 3:53:21 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| WHOA. Facebook developer console changed SO much since I last used it | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 3:52:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Bold move by our recruiter. Straight up asked one of my engineers how his lady situation was doing and winked at him #shewantsthedick | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 1:04:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I fucking hate this shit | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 11:24:26 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm about to pull a Billy Walsh on this rollout and Booker | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 10:24:41 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our rollouts suck dick | Tuesday, January 14, 2014 9:28:52 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| kevin. stop fuckin sneezing. | Friday, January 10, 2014 2:49:55 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gabe, shut the fuck up about Hennessy. Talking about it for the past 10 mins like he's the connoisseur of all alcohol. You're also white. | Thursday, January 09, 2014 4:47:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Our API documentation looks like a drunk rest stop bathroom attendant took Twitter bootstrap and threw up all over the webpage | Thursday, January 09, 2014 3:05:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @MalJNew what up stripes | Wednesday, January 08, 2014 5:53:04 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Gabe, I don't give a fuck about how you keep a Windows XP VM around.. Shut up | Wednesday, January 08, 2014 11:17:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| 9 degrees out and I'm sweating balls at my desk and have a fan on | Tuesday, January 07, 2014 5:12:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| FYI. My ass looks studly today in dem jeans #DATASS | Tuesday, January 07, 2014 3:01:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I FUCKING HOPE SO TOO, DUDE http://t.co/pQvhBIQpyJ | Tuesday, January 07, 2014 9:17:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Back from vacation. Build server crashed again. | Monday, January 06, 2014 2:26:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I think I just broke Foursquare. | Friday, December 27, 2013 2:02:54 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Coworker said he wished the system didn't crash without me. I fucking hope so too bro (plus, don't bother me) | Friday, December 27, 2013 1:09:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Vacation responder on and work email push notifications disabled. Don't wanna know anything. PEACE OUT biddies. | Friday, December 27, 2013 1:07:34 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Hungry as fuck, obviously, due to feeble meals served over the past few days. TV dinners and leftovers go perfectly around Christmas #thefuk | Thursday, December 26, 2013 11:11:56 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @MalJNew Suck it. My TV dinner was AWESOME, you guys | Thursday, December 26, 2013 9:08:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Colin finally bounced for lunch. Going to the fuckin bar. | Thursday, December 26, 2013 1:10:47 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Clune's bringing Shiner back into the office. I hope he bites McGivern | Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:43:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just poured myself a whiskey. | Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:10:53 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Per Alina, my command prompt is now purple. Black and white was too boring @maljnew #ThoughtOfTheDay | Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:10:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Haven't done JACK SHIT yet today | Thursday, December 26, 2013 9:47:53 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Backhanded comment from TK on my sweatpants #eatadick.info | Thursday, December 26, 2013 8:48:56 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| If you don't think I'm wearing sweatpants to the office tomorrow, then you're mistaken. Gonna be a whopping 5 people there. | Thursday, December 26, 2013 12:37:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Pearl Jam's Ten craclkin' away on Vinyl tho | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 2:49:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just hid the stupid ass Flash copy to clipboard button on mobile devices for my twitter app. mobile doesnt have flash asswipe | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 1:36:00 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| RT @MalJNew Kevin McCallister for President | Monday, December 23, 2013 1:15:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Have to poop and an in the middle of a rollout #ReleaseEngineerProblems | Monday, December 23, 2013 1:13:05 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| PJ day in the office and I'm wearing a onesie... How am I supposed to poop? Strip down in a stall? | Monday, December 23, 2013 12:38:34 PM | Twitter Web Client |
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