5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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This bitch ass client is doing data loads and woke me up because their piece of shit system has un-optimized code and our monitoring blows Wednesday, July 15, 2015 4:07:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Cancel the whole rollout for one minor error that only affects one client and isn't even visible. You fucking cunts Monday, July 13, 2015 3:04:44 AMTwitter Web Client
The Arabian music on Narinder's skype during this rollout needs to stop. Monday, July 13, 2015 12:49:26 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @FeitsBarstool: I'm positive America is getting cyber attacked rn and I've seen A Good Day to Die Hard so I know what I'm talking about Wednesday, July 08, 2015 12:13:02 PMTwitter Web Client
TEST Sunday, July 05, 2015 4:31:35 PMTwitter Web Client
SHIT SHIT SHIT http://t.co/PoVfQQPRiJ Sunday, July 05, 2015 1:02:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Blazing fast Verizon 4G at LaGuardia Airport: http://t.co/NYtbTHR1hR Wednesday, July 01, 2015 11:34:25 AMTwitter Web Client
To the 24 y/o construction worker @ the bar who kept sayin he made 6 figures: Eat a dick. Some of us work our asses off for shit office jobs Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:52:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Damnit @Docent_Steve. Thanks for leaving. All of the oncall overrides are jacked since you left and I went on vacation ;)

PS Enjoyyyyyyy
Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:15:45 PMTwitter Web Client
So uhhhh... What 'other' gender exists? I identify as "SUPERMALE" DUH
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:10:02 PMTwitter Web Client
From a Microsoft survey... This question has come a long way since male/female http://t.co/6KlW1WHARX Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:09:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm hammered right now Tuesday, June 30, 2015 6:04:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Our security guy is a cunt Tuesday, June 30, 2015 5:58:47 PMTwitter Web Client
BRB. Emergency trip to this titty bar Tuesday, June 30, 2015 4:31:25 PMTwitter Web Client
is the keg open yet. Mas booze por favor Tuesday, June 30, 2015 2:37:29 PMTwitter Web Client
#penis2010
cc: @__JLu, @MalJNew

PS: LUDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA http://t.co/ngVKjSRx6y
Friday, June 26, 2015 5:07:46 PMTwitter Web Client
I AM THIS DEFEATED RIGHT NOW
https://t.co/0AMbjGCEd7
Wednesday, June 24, 2015 1:37:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Not a single fuck is being given on this call. Everyone is completely ignoring this VP Wednesday, June 24, 2015 10:41:37 AMTwitter Web Client
GoDaddy is a fucking piece of shit. Tried to leave them when they supported SOPA in the day, and their Admin Console is dick. Wednesday, June 24, 2015 10:30:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Get the fuck off my team, CC Sabbathia edition. Guy sucks a dick Wednesday, June 24, 2015 9:48:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Let me consult with my internet streaming and licensing specialist, Taylor Swift...

Fucking TSwift... Who do you think you are?
Tuesday, June 23, 2015 1:11:40 PMTwitter Web Client
STFU. Guy talks too much Thursday, June 18, 2015 12:20:51 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm not giving some piece of shit no name bank my SSN. Youcan keep your fucking $100. Not worth my identity stolen. Fucking scammers. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:52:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Basically have a piece of plastic. No one ever buy this fucking Green Dot shit. I don't need to "register" it. Use AMEX gift cards instead. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:51:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone gave me a Green Dot card as a gift and FUCK THEM because it doesn't work like an AMEX gift card... Need to register it with your SSN Tuesday, June 16, 2015 5:49:51 PMTwitter Web Client
I think I legit blacked out at the ATM. Don't remember taking my money from the slot, but apparently, I have it. Tuesday, June 16, 2015 3:55:19 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Quick q. If I never used AiProtection ad blocker and flash 378.54_1 to my RT-AC68U, do I still need to run those commands? Wednesday, June 10, 2015 10:41:09 AMTwitter Web Client
I'll bet you this suit gets so hard when he clicks approve on change requests. MAD POWER BRO Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:25:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Eat a dick dot info. I dont care how much I fuck up, at the end of the day Joe and Joe are the only people who can fix shit Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:03:47 PMTwitter Web Client
This veal parm sangwich I got from Mama Carmela's is bigger than my forearm Tuesday, June 09, 2015 3:31:35 PMTwitter Web Client
This horse shit assed release is preventing like half of these motherfuckers from logging in. Let's focus on that and not how I fucked up Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:27:48 PMTwitter Web Client
THIS ENTIRE PLATFORM SUCKS A DICK Tuesday, June 09, 2015 12:02:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Big Sexy Bartolo Colon has more points than every pitcher I own in fantasy except Gerrit Cole. And my team's doing really well Tuesday, June 09, 2015 11:25:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Gotta make sure they get that change control ticket in tho. Not that there's one for the same maintenance we couldn't get right the 1st time Tuesday, June 09, 2015 10:37:44 AMTwitter Web Client
F- rollout for all teams involved. Dev team for bugs, another team for config stupidity, me for being dyslexic and suits for overreacting! Tuesday, June 09, 2015 9:45:21 AMTwitter Web Client
I suck Tuesday, June 09, 2015 9:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey! My rollback scripts actually work! Tuesday, June 09, 2015 9:38:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Two new errors in the logs with the new deployment: EVERYONE PANIC Tuesday, June 09, 2015 8:38:41 AMTwitter Web Client
git push
💩💩💩
Monday, June 08, 2015 4:12:32 PMTwitter Web Client
New QA manager started today and cannot follow simple login instructions Monday, June 08, 2015 2:30:46 PMTwitter Web Client
I can't get fucking github to work with putty, plink and pageant. This is pissing me off. Thursday, June 04, 2015 5:34:54 PMTwitter Web Client
deez nuts: https://t.co/6OLNarGsLs Wednesday, June 03, 2015 5:14:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Our security guy is now sending us one ticket per vulnerability. We have scheduled patching you fucking idiot Wednesday, June 03, 2015 4:04:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Dumb motherfucker's been here 7 years and doesn't know how to reset her password on the system she's SELLING to people. I GIVE UP Wednesday, June 03, 2015 4:01:08 PMTwitter Web Client
LOL at Microsoft's fix... They didn't actually fix the overflow... They just prevent the message from being delivered in the new clients Wednesday, June 03, 2015 11:01:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I haven't had this much fun since the AIM buffer overflow html exploits back in 2002-2006 Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:58:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone go ahead and crash everyone's Skypes by sending this string from a Mac or Windows 8 client

http://:
Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:54:17 AMTwitter Web Client
DOM ≠ DNS you fucking Vice President asshole Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:33:43 AMTwitter Web Client
This city is going to shit with this moron https://t.co/WP3kx9TKCF Tuesday, June 02, 2015 5:45:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Homeboy just dropped a delivery to my desk and I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm going to do with this package for a day or so... Tuesday, June 02, 2015 5:12:29 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking guy... They should tape his mouth shut and let him starve to death http://t.co/RI63pUuuHo Tuesday, June 02, 2015 4:32:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh. They pushed a bug about dialing 911. Who gives a shit about 911. I want Lollipop. Scratch that. Just give me an M dev build Tuesday, June 02, 2015 12:45:42 PMTwitter Web Client
NOPE
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 02, 2015 12:41:16 PMTwitter Web Client
DID VERIZON JUST PUSH LOLLIPOP FOR THE FIRST GEN MOTO X? Tuesday, June 02, 2015 12:24:25 PMTwitter Web Client
These fucking cunts are about to ruin my birthday because at 5:32 they JUST realized they're releasing untested code tomorrow you ASSHOLES Monday, June 01, 2015 5:32:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I find this hard to believe that 47% of families can't come up with fuckin $400... Who was surveyed? The poors?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, June 01, 2015 4:10:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Cuncel da USA. Second World Country....
http://t.co/TV2JYEWaJC
Monday, June 01, 2015 4:09:49 PMTwitter Web Client
I am SO pumped to see Big Sexy 'Tolo over at CitiField later. Guy is a character. Sunday, May 31, 2015 11:01:48 AMTwitter Web Client
See thing is New Relic is never fucking wrong and the idiot suits at my company use other horse shit alerting that is BS and always FALSE Sunday, May 31, 2015 2:56:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh for fucks sake with these alerts. #HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE Sunday, May 31, 2015 2:12:04 AMTwitter Web Client
These cunts are actually making me fail over our always on cluster right now Sunday, May 31, 2015 1:03:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Thought 2 on Google Photos: It's everything I disliked about Apple syncing photos to iCloud ;). Convenient but annoying Friday, May 29, 2015 1:50:21 PMTwitter Web Client
This is literally what we pay our designers hundreds of thousands to create. Fucking misspelled powerpoint 1998 shit http://t.co/qlXH1EygOE Friday, May 29, 2015 11:26:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Most senior asshole here getting shit on Friday, May 29, 2015 10:42:52 AMTwitter Web Client
What the fuck did I do wrong in life that I ended up on call two weekends in a row. Jesus Fucking Christ. Friday, May 29, 2015 10:42:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Chrome Canary has been an unstable, buggy piece of shit lately Thursday, May 28, 2015 4:14:25 PMTwitter Web Client
"Hi. You have one day to create a new build script and deploy a new app. It doesn't compile yet tho. BTW, let's sit in meetings for hours" Thursday, May 28, 2015 3:38:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Will you shut the fuck up? Under no circumstances is it acceptable to blabber for fucking 10 mins straight when I have shit to do. Thursday, May 28, 2015 1:51:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Just saved these joke shops $5.80/hr in unused servers. This means I get Summer Fridays back, right? Tuesday, May 26, 2015 4:41:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Looks like Time Warner's SSO is vulnerable to LogJam. New Chrome blocks it. Company can't do anything right. http://t.co/Or6MzeF9Ow Tuesday, May 26, 2015 2:34:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Also, text selection is all fucked up in Chrome Canary. I know it's beta but it's usually been solid. Been shit lately. Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:37:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to charge fucking time warner for the extra electric Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:20 PMTwitter Web Client
My cocksucking modem keeps rebooting, IP changed and fucking Time Warner won't give it to me. I need to turn off my fucking air conditioner Tuesday, May 26, 2015 1:36:07 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking shit in a tagged release branch doesn't even compile. Tuesday, May 26, 2015 11:48:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Yes, I am working on a tooltip and I named the class #JustTheTip http://t.co/mLtcoP0kDB Friday, May 22, 2015 12:35:38 PMTwitter Web Client
They should REALLY let us know first before flying 6 F16s over lower Manhattan Friday, May 22, 2015 10:59:52 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 2015. If you use a browser popup window/separate page for a datepicker, that is shameful. So 90s. CC: @TDBank_US http://t.co/XozXXnllAb Monday, May 18, 2015 3:21:54 PMTwitter Web Client
O hay. You guys took away our Summer Fridays? NBD, I'll just take off the first three Fridays in June Monday, May 18, 2015 12:46:03 PMTwitter Web Client
So there were some music awards last night? Monday, May 18, 2015 10:22:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Kyle Hendricks/Jeff Locke both on my fantasy team facing each other this afternoon and they both pitched like shit. Couldn't even get one W Friday, May 15, 2015 6:10:22 PMTwitter Web Client
TIL ISIS Stands for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Never knew..

PS - Don't murder me or investigate me for mentioning those assholes
Friday, May 15, 2015 3:37:56 PMTwitter Web Client
@smstemp Maybe some of us don't like avocados: https://t.co/Jpn7E4Lif9
In reply to @smstemp's tweet
Friday, May 15, 2015 3:34:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Not sure how I feel about the Google Play Music web redesign Thursday, May 14, 2015 2:34:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Always a better day when @XtinaSchelin gets me on an Alice in Chains kick Wednesday, May 13, 2015 3:39:55 PMTwitter Web Client
@scoopandslam 5.0 or 5.1? I heard 5.0 was a complete disaster, and lots of bugs were fixed in 5.1 and 5.1.1
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
Wednesday, May 13, 2015 10:57:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Already used 36 kWH of AC and it's only fucking May 12th. Global warming can suck it. Tuesday, May 12, 2015 6:20:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Friday!
(PS our primary domain controller won't boot)
Friday, May 08, 2015 12:22:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I am listening to Mike McCready's guitar solo in Alive on loop like a million times you guys Friday, May 08, 2015 12:17:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Explain how this makes any kind of sense... @TWC_Help @TWC_NYNJ http://t.co/YuLI3SQ0Kv Thursday, May 07, 2015 12:25:22 PMTwitter Web Client
You know I'm shot when I tried to trade tonight's oncall shift for kickball anfd I'm not even on call tonight. Wednesday, May 06, 2015 5:28:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm such a fat, fat, fattie. #SmashBurgerComa Wednesday, May 06, 2015 3:24:38 PMTwitter Web Client
BRB, heading to Starbucks' public WiFi so I can connect from there. It's a VPN tunnel. It's encrypted you fucking idiot. Tuesday, May 05, 2015 5:18:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Our security guy is a fucking moron. He blocked us from connecting to our prod VPN on corporate WiFi because it's a security risk.. Tuesday, May 05, 2015 5:17:06 PMTwitter Web Client
GOOD. IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT... Google Apparently Exploring A Design Revision For Hangouts Chrome App: http://t.co/z9SsID1108 Tuesday, May 05, 2015 11:54:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Company kickball team and another team legit tied in flip cup. this is absolutely unreal http://t.co/6dYeVOzy3U Monday, May 04, 2015 5:43:34 PMTwitter Web Client
.@foursquare's checkin history page is all jacked up on @googlechrome Canary. Probably a Chrome bug since it works fine in regular chrome Monday, May 04, 2015 4:10:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Ain't got no time for people's bullshit here. Staying happy son! Monday, May 04, 2015 3:14:44 PMTwitter Web Client
THE DOORS. It's a Doors kind of morning Monday, May 04, 2015 11:39:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Just uninstalled iTunes, Bonjour, Apple Mobile Device Support and Apple Updater. Shitty assed Windows programs I don't need anymore. Thursday, April 30, 2015 8:39:25 PMTwitter Web Client
They recommend Firefox? MOrons... Monday, April 27, 2015 11:41:20 PMTwitter Web Client
Baggadouche. Get with the program and use html5 open video codecs. None of this plugin bullshit @SHO_Network http://t.co/teQzphD1qN Monday, April 27, 2015 11:40:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Don't re-quote your previous Skypes to me cunt Monday, April 27, 2015 4:56:55 PMTwitter Web Client
@portfolioso Punctuation. I don't use it.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, April 24, 2015 9:30:17 PMTwitter Web Client
And it's working enjoyyyyy now back to Rangers & Yanks/Mets! Friday, April 24, 2015 9:30:02 PMTwitter Web Client
once again did an update and seeing if it broke my twitter app. testing Friday, April 24, 2015 9:26:50 PMTwitter Web Client
They always scream at the top of their lungs about the most politically incorrect bs when I'm trying to concentrate on this horse shit code Friday, April 24, 2015 4:45:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Improper utilization of an IoC container. And now a word from our developers: http://t.co/cbwhwMVNoV Wednesday, April 22, 2015 10:43:12 AMTwitter Web Client
This place can eat a dick Monday, April 20, 2015 2:47:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Most senior customer support rep just told me our clients were having an issue and their ISP was Cisco. #lol Wednesday, April 15, 2015 1:49:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Dude. Quiet. Nonstop yappin. Trying to work here Wednesday, April 15, 2015 9:38:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Tomorrow is Thomas Jefferson's birthday, says Google Calendar. No one gives a shit. Sunday, April 12, 2015 4:00:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I have no use for Facebook anymore. It was cool when there were networks and it was actually social. Now it's just a link dumping ground Saturday, April 11, 2015 10:05:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Was National Siblings Day even a thing last year? Don't remember this much fuss before. Facebook news feed should be renamed to sibling feed Saturday, April 11, 2015 10:04:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Um. @MalJNew just made the BEST mac and cheese right now. You're jealous. Yes you are. Friday, April 10, 2015 10:24:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Shut up Eddie Thursday, April 09, 2015 9:54:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Watching some not so legit mlb stream from Canada and all I have to say is that Canadians have some weird ass commercials. Monday, April 06, 2015 4:56:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I should be at the stadium Monday, April 06, 2015 12:55:11 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Happy opening day! You excited for your new and improved Mets? PS - Bartolo Colon is hysterical. Monday, April 06, 2015 11:21:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Opening Day 2015! Monday, April 06, 2015 9:47:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I just ate ghost pepper salsa like an asshole Thursday, April 02, 2015 1:59:58 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of asshole checks in PDB files (C# debugging binaries) into source control? Wednesday, April 01, 2015 6:13:55 PMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool God dammit Clancy. Now I have What's Luv on repeat #CubeLife
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Wednesday, April 01, 2015 5:31:36 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @KFCBarstool: This Francesa/Fat Joe vine might be my favorite vine ever https://t.co/T8C5QHvFVR Wednesday, April 01, 2015 4:42:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, looking through my YouTube history, it's clear that the GF was chromcasting from my account at one point http://t.co/ymzqLQjvio Wednesday, April 01, 2015 4:42:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Scott Weiland just put out an album? He didn't overdose yet? Wednesday, April 01, 2015 12:26:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Listening to "New Music" on Google Play. Apparently, there's a new three Days Grace album. Sounds like it's 2003 bros. So generic. Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:53:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Dead serious, you guys: http://t.co/1SJ1rE99Im
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:46:11 AMTwitter Web Client
I've been real quiet on Twitter recently. Trying to lose the negativity and bitching and ramp up the stupid Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:18:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Giving Luda's new album a spin over on Google Play #LUDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:17:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Like, I needed to potato sack her immediately
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:05:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Anna Gilligan was an absolute minx this morning on Good Day at the Javitz center auto show.. Minx. Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:02:15 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @Docent_Steve: Was just offered "pure internet" from a vendor. Thank god it isn't laced with anything like some of the other vendors Wednesday, April 01, 2015 11:00:22 AMTwitter Web Client
LULZ. Just renegotiated my contract with Time Warner for another year and got a promo for awful svc. Day one? Outage. Bahahahahahhahahah Wednesday, April 01, 2015 10:42:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Don't understand how I'm supposed to get any work done if this guy TALKS about what he's going to do rather than doing anything. #letmework Friday, March 27, 2015 10:33:32 AMTwitter Web Client
shut upppppppppppppppppp Thursday, March 26, 2015 10:53:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Director of Engineering here doesn't understand fuckin source control. Wednesday, March 25, 2015 3:46:26 PMTwitter Web Client
It's 2015. How about Windows Explorer doesn't fucking hang when a mapped drive isn't available. BEEN AN ISSUE SINCE THE 90s FIX IT Tuesday, March 24, 2015 2:10:08 PMTwitter Web Client
My @googledrive is all jacked up. All the dates on items shared with me say 1969 and tons of stuff is missing Friday, March 20, 2015 1:03:29 AMTwitter Web Client
I find it a little odd that people would like a news post on facebook about a dude found hanging. Just... awkward. Friday, March 20, 2015 12:59:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Spring Break --> 90s Frat BBQ Radio is baller @googleplaymusic http://t.co/YclrTNeNNd Thursday, March 19, 2015 5:35:53 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm the new air drummer in the band Bad Kernel. Buncha dudes dressed up as colonels rocking out to lyrics about popcorn and Linux Thursday, March 19, 2015 10:56:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Asks me if I know what I'm talking about. Go fuck your mother. Last time I try to help. Tuesday, March 17, 2015 4:48:12 PMTwitter Web Client
I actually can't read Barstool anymore because their redesign fucked everything. Busted RSS, missing articles. Shit's weak. Monday, March 16, 2015 2:43:21 AMTwitter Web Client
I actually have one and didn't before but was too tipsss to find the poop emoji and wanted to tweet it anyway. Friday, March 13, 2015 6:23:10 PMTwitter Web Client
The fact that I don't have a beer right now is horseshit

🐎💩
Friday, March 13, 2015 6:22:25 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DadBoner: Ain't been feeling' myself lately. Feels like a thousand years since I drank a thousand beers. The darkness has fell upon my … Friday, March 13, 2015 6:16:49 PMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool Tell the tech guy to fix the RSS feed on the site. I haven't read the Stool in days because it's broken and not on my Feedly
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Friday, March 13, 2015 5:23:45 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 or for Asians to attach it to poles and take selfies
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, March 13, 2015 5:21:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck would EMC vCenter's "new" web portal use Adobe Flash? Shit's been dead for years. Bring back the standalone or use HTML5. Friday, March 13, 2015 5:17:37 PMTwitter Web Client
This Skype meeting is interfering with my listening to 40 Oz to Freedom... Friday, March 13, 2015 1:02:01 PMTwitter Web Client
@DevNestNate @stoolpresidente http://t.co/gLHER4AGXr Pleeeeaseeeee fix the feeds. It makes me click to the site anyway so I still see ads
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, March 13, 2015 11:54:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Why are Barstool's RSS feeds jacked? XML parse error: http://t.co/XSH3XYbW5R @DevNestNate @stoolpresidente Friday, March 13, 2015 10:53:22 AMTwitter Web Client
So tired of everyone complaining about slow dev environments, sending tickets to the wrong alias, and idiocy in general Friday, March 13, 2015 10:29:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Just about in bed and this cocksucking platform starts throwing alerts Friday, March 13, 2015 2:02:22 AMTwitter Web Client
'Murica http://t.co/fD8ToIorxb Friday, March 13, 2015 1:07:55 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm not sad about Google Code going away because half the people using it redirected to @github or used it to mirror some other repository Thursday, March 12, 2015 9:59:17 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm not even shitting you. We have a Potatoes team and we just told our client that we have the Potatoes working on it. Wednesday, March 11, 2015 10:52:23 AMTwitter Web Client
I'd be reeeeaaaaal confident if a vendor sent me this email "We're looping in the Potatoes team to help diagnose and identify a fix" Wednesday, March 11, 2015 10:51:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Verizon is all fucked up on the east coast. Half the internet is down... Tuesday, March 10, 2015 6:23:11 PMTwitter Web Client
.@foursquare is dead. I'll use @swarmapp for checkin history, but all reviews on 4sq are outdated/irrelevant since it split. No one uses it. Monday, March 09, 2015 2:15:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone is trolling this conference call with pirate ship music and it's not me and I love it. Organizers should force mute everyone. Dopes Monday, March 09, 2015 11:05:43 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Flashed RTAC68 to 378.51 & lost WAN. DNS resolved to 10.x.x. Ran WAN autodetect and it fixed it, reboot didn't. Any complaints? Sunday, March 08, 2015 11:56:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Supposed to go to the bar as a going away party for people too smart to work here, but my 90s rock playlist is holding me back tho Thursday, March 05, 2015 6:24:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Dave Grohl, come at me http://t.co/LAfohK7o0d Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:39:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Rewrite Minecraft in golang because fuck java Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:38:14 PMTwitter Web Client
PS we need more smokeshow smart programmer chicks here to tell morons to eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:36:53 PMTwitter Web Client
This is EXACTLY what it's like where I work http://t.co/2SPOeR7NCs Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:19:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Gotta take a wicked pissah Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:10:08 PMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ @KFCBarstool Breastchester!!!
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:08:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I meant from drinking....
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 05, 2015 5:01:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. I'm a little toasted Thursday, March 05, 2015 4:58:30 PMTwitter Web Client
This is sick. Anyone who does this needs to be fed foot first through a wood chipper... http://t.co/KfQaySVKVH Thursday, March 05, 2015 11:12:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Shut up. Have things to do Thursday, March 05, 2015 10:50:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Looks like GoDaddy is coming down hard on that abuser's list Bob Johnson http://t.co/uL3K7lr63K Tuesday, March 03, 2015 7:52:42 AMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Help Please schedule it for Tuesday and give me 6 more months of the 39.99 rate and I won't get FiOS
In reply to @TWC_Help's tweet
Friday, February 27, 2015 10:16:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Show me the pic of the black and blue dress and the gold and white one and let me SHA-256 checksum them. If they don't match, it's photoshop Friday, February 27, 2015 10:15:04 PMTwitter Web Client
I own the fucking ticket. Come to me to fix it. Don't go to someone else. Obviously I have no purpose here. Friday, February 27, 2015 4:22:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Absolutely infuriating when I take a ticket and tell someone no and then devs go up to some other engineer and they give them what they want Friday, February 27, 2015 4:19:36 PMTwitter Web Client
IT guy just told me to go fuck myself when I called out that we spent 40k on a video conferencing solution they used 5 times in 2 years. Friday, February 27, 2015 3:56:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Ticketmaster is such a piece of shit. Why can't you specify a different shipping address from a billing address. Friday, February 27, 2015 1:36:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Awful UX, @Ticketmaster. Why does it lose my CC info when I try to apply a promo code. Friday, February 27, 2015 1:32:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Net Neutrality is good, but I feel like the government is going to fuck it up because that's what they do. Friday, February 27, 2015 9:35:09 AMTwitter Web Client
I have no idea what my own fucking code is doing...... So legacy Thursday, February 26, 2015 1:28:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Intense #NetNeutrality debate going on here in the office Thursday, February 26, 2015 12:54:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Nothing pisses me off more than when I can't figure something out and people are screaming at the top of their lungs Tuesday, February 24, 2015 5:27:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Stop fuckin laughing and being loud and do work Tuesday, February 24, 2015 5:18:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Security guy doesn't even know what the fuck he's scanning. Made us disable port 80 externally and is wondering why nessus can't hit it. DER Monday, February 23, 2015 6:21:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Haven't had acid reflux in forever but 100% of the time I have breakfast at Pret, my stomach goes on fire. What gives? Friday, February 20, 2015 11:13:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it beer O'Clock yet? Thursday, February 19, 2015 2:24:37 PMTwitter Web Client
"I'm so anti big brother, but I LOVE watching data traverse a network" Thursday, February 19, 2015 11:15:33 AMTwitter Web Client
That time when biddies be saying my shit isn't deploying and they're so full of shit because it totally is deploying properly so blow me. Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:30:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Not giving up shit for Lent. So damn stupid. I'm just going to stop being an asshole to people for 40 days. How bout them apples? Wednesday, February 18, 2015 1:00:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Wiki + Wizard = Wizzy Wednesday, February 18, 2015 12:59:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Let me tl;dr this article for you... http://t.co/hYcZld2zha via @njdotcom http://t.co/ehMsam5bvb Wednesday, February 18, 2015 3:06:51 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Couldn't kill em. Broke my droid back in 09 and went back to that one
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, February 13, 2015 6:35:08 PMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 ENV3?
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, February 13, 2015 6:26:13 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Jiaaro: Happy Valentines Day, I got you HTTPS by default.

That's true love.
Friday, February 13, 2015 4:19:15 PMTwitter Web Client
🎵🎵 Gotta live, gotta live, gotta live
In shit town 🎵🎵
Friday, February 13, 2015 3:44:01 PMTwitter Web Client
This guy is so fucking stupid, the fact that he holds a VP title is laughable, but sounds about right where I work... Friday, February 13, 2015 10:40:33 AMTwitter Web Client
This guy's processor review is bosh: http://t.co/UVyM0F9iZB Thursday, February 12, 2015 3:52:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Windows updates broke my Anyconnect VPN. Pieces of shit. Wednesday, February 11, 2015 12:46:48 PMTwitter Web Client
::Walks in::
::Build Server break::
Monday, February 09, 2015 10:31:24 AMTwitter Web Client
eat a dick with this oncall period. our shit is imploding and i've gotten bugged every day. suits running shit into the ground. end is nigh Saturday, February 07, 2015 11:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
I can really go for an ice cold, frosty, golden beer right now. Need one. Like badly Thursday, February 05, 2015 7:31:34 PMTwitter Web Client
I want a Mr. Pibb Thursday, February 05, 2015 3:14:45 PMTwitter Web Client
We're a scheduling software and somehow, we released a bug where you can't make an appointment via the API to production. This is very sad. Thursday, February 05, 2015 10:19:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Murica. Second world county. I say it all the time: http://t.co/ZZERVwPsZu Tuesday, February 03, 2015 4:06:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Our trunk we were supposed to release today now doesn't even compile. We are fucking awesome! Tuesday, February 03, 2015 11:53:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Tomorrow's rollout is gonna suck a dick because we are trying to introduce breaking DB schema changes without offlining our app. MO-RONS Monday, February 02, 2015 5:26:50 PMTwitter Web Client
What in the actual fuck did Google Chrome do to the bookmarks manager in Chrome 40? Holy shit it's fugly. Wednesday, January 28, 2015 11:52:31 AMTwitter Web Client
To compare management where I work to The Interview, our suits are at the same stupidity level as Skylark when he switched bags. Tuesday, January 27, 2015 5:33:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Record 4 day Twitter silence? JEEZ Tuesday, January 27, 2015 1:03:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev For the 378.50 B1 firmware, should I factory reset before or after flashing? Monday, January 26, 2015 4:58:24 PMTwitter Web Client
I mean, most of my Twitter is satire/comedy, but oops: http://t.co/0QoUs5utV7 Nice knowin' y'all Friday, January 23, 2015 12:23:18 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev When I connect to the admin console externally via https, chrome always hangs on "Establishing Secure Connection" Any ideas? Thursday, January 22, 2015 2:06:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Eat a dick gramps you suit motherfucker. I finished your task before you even asked for it because I know what's up and you're an idiot Thursday, January 22, 2015 12:31:16 PMTwitter Web Client
As much as I'd like to say this place can eat a dick (and it can), this level of urgency is actually fun Wednesday, January 21, 2015 2:04:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Remember when that dude tried to index 6 1TB DBs and I laughed at him? They just realized now it hurt performance. #listentome Wednesday, January 21, 2015 12:52:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Relax? You tell me to relax? Okay. I'll relax the rest of the day because now I'm not doing anymore work so BLOW ME Tuesday, January 20, 2015 4:51:07 PMTwitter Web Client
THIS GENIUS just kicked off 6 index maintenance jobs on six 1TB databases on the same virtualized hardware Tuesday, January 20, 2015 3:00:17 PMTwitter Web Client
like if you dont drop that as a childhood video and get laid, you're hopeless Saturday, January 17, 2015 1:22:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Be like... Yo when I was 2 I drummed The Pretender. Instant fire hydrant from any normal girl. Saturday, January 17, 2015 1:22:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Regarding that 2 yr old foo fighters drummer... Kid's gonna slay the MOST pussy when he's older guaranteed. Saturday, January 17, 2015 1:21:25 AMTwitter Web Client
WUT: https://t.co/ygAnd0XrtH Friday, January 16, 2015 6:58:40 PMTwitter Web Client
cunts Friday, January 16, 2015 3:09:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Let's reward our employees by sending 34 people to Mexico. 75% of whom are sales and the rest haven't been here a year. We're a tech company Friday, January 16, 2015 3:08:16 PMTwitter Web Client
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Thursday, January 15, 2015 6:53:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Does this guy ever shut his fucking mouth? Thursday, January 15, 2015 6:29:44 PMTwitter Web Client
LOVE our marketing department: "We had a quick issue with our hosting servers" We are a tech company. This is sad. http://t.co/eAYYZSC7HV Wednesday, January 14, 2015 3:47:04 PMTwitter Web Client
"Networking of failover of the pipes going in?"

THE PIPES ARE DOWN YOU GUYS
Tuesday, January 13, 2015 4:31:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, our datacenter is getting DDoS'd. Who wants to come to bikini bar in the meantime? Tuesday, January 13, 2015 4:03:00 PMTwitter Web Client
It hasn't smelled this bad in the office since that stank vagina sales girl left Monday, January 12, 2015 3:03:51 PMTwitter Web Client
You stinky motherfucker you Monday, January 12, 2015 2:59:34 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm sorry, but if you bring fish for lunch and heat it up in the office, you're an asshole. Eat it cold, or don't bring fuckin fish Monday, January 12, 2015 2:59:27 PMTwitter Web Client
What's the nicest possible way to tell this project manager 1) shut the fuck up 2) I know how to fix this and you don't know shit so STFU. Monday, January 12, 2015 12:25:05 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm making fun of this idiot suit this entire call. Hope my mic doesn't unmute Monday, January 12, 2015 10:45:23 AMTwitter Web Client
I instigated a quantum physics argument between our SysOps Russian and the Linux dude. It's been going on for 45 minutes already. Friday, January 09, 2015 4:35:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Was trying to invite one of my boys to the bar tomorrow and was trying to say it was a "sick bar" but typo'd it to "dick bar" Friday, January 09, 2015 3:42:06 PMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ IN! How big is the place based on past events? Am I going to have to fight for drinks?
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Friday, January 09, 2015 3:16:53 PMTwitter Web Client
I think it's totally justified to take all these terrorists and feed them feet first through a wood chipper for hours while beating them. Friday, January 09, 2015 11:00:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Someone PLEASE mash up Steve Ballmer's "Developers developers developers" with his Fergie dance performance. Friday, January 09, 2015 2:04:00 AMTwitter Web Client
"I make dick jokes, am a borderline racist, alcoholic, drug addict" -@barstooljj via @YuppieJunk I might piss myself Friday, January 09, 2015 1:46:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Yep... It kinda takes a REALLY long time to generate checksums for 90GB files... Friday, January 09, 2015 12:58:43 AMTwitter Web Client
http://t.co/3jw6olQ1tu Thursday, January 08, 2015 3:28:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Everyone is pissing me off today Thursday, January 08, 2015 11:34:53 AMTwitter Web Client
These suits are so ignorant it's not even funny. Getting a spiked dick reamed to me on a process that hasn't changed in years. LOLZ Wednesday, January 07, 2015 11:41:36 AMTwitter Web Client
"I'm so sick of class action lawsuits. 'Dear Red Bull Drinker, Red Bull did not actually give you wings' SHUT UP" -@Docent_Steve Monday, January 05, 2015 4:23:12 PMTwitter Web Client
MURICA: http://t.co/rUhxWSo3eQ Tuesday, December 30, 2014 5:24:57 PMTwitter Web Client
NYPD Straight up mailing it in. Cuncel da de Blasio http://t.co/JGOmX1LX7O Tuesday, December 30, 2014 12:09:59 PMTwitter Web Client
GetGlue/TvTag Shutting Down? Good. Stopped using that shit when they started auto-tweeting self promo bullshit without my consent. Sunday, December 28, 2014 11:46:55 PMTwitter Web Client

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