5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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When one of the fly assed devs sends you mah-ninja.jpg ❤ https://t.co/SpnfyvPDFf Friday, February 24, 2017 12:56:56 PMTwitter Web Client
I've got the director of architecture telling me that my #1 priority is to implement some shit that was just a PoC that only one dev knows Tuesday, February 21, 2017 12:42:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Realll productive working on those wedding invite address labels rn: https://t.co/c6dNra6zBH Tuesday, February 21, 2017 12:48:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Aliens!

https://t.co/M1y1NarhrZ 		Monday, February 20, 2017 10:21:14 PMTwitter Web Client
PLAY AT FULL VOLUME FOR MAXIMUM AWESOME: https://t.co/y6kyXAhtZz Thursday, February 16, 2017 11:38:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Today's the followup meeting with the CTO. Have to defend an outage I "caused" during scheduled maintenance

#GTFO & https://t.co/JSsw28MRhE 		Wednesday, February 15, 2017 10:06:21 AMTwitter Web Client
Do your own fuckin maintenance next time. https://t.co/vTK9ZeYAtI Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:53 AMTwitter Web Client
CTO just freaked the fuck out on me because I had our app offline during the entire PLANNED maintenance window and not just a part of it Monday, February 13, 2017 11:03:38 AMTwitter Web Client
The only way Goodell doesn't kill himself from all the massholes hating on him is if he's as delusional as Trump is #eveyonewhodisagreeslies Tuesday, February 07, 2017 2:18:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Just came across https://t.co/zTAArVMzSi and haven't heard that since my middle school bus driver used to blast HOT 97 in the mornings Tuesday, February 07, 2017 12:33:30 PMTwitter Web Client
One of the architect leads just walked off this call and no one knows where he is or what to do Tuesday, February 07, 2017 11:50:25 AMTwitter Web Client
@Fantasy_Mania Presidente? https://t.co/0RlOdalCjs Friday, February 03, 2017 5:58:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Um. Crushed it. Thursday, January 26, 2017 5:47:24 PMTwitter Web Client
This is useless to me if I cannot import it to Excel. When I copy paste, it cannot determine columns. Thanks a lot @BankofAmerica https://t.co/voWyGcaQCb Thursday, January 26, 2017 4:26:20 PMTwitter Web Client
If You Think Rain Is Better Than Snow Then You’re An Idiot And A Fool And An Idiot https://t.co/cITTbQlD82 #entertainment #feedly Thursday, January 26, 2017 1:54:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Faux News... Because Trump himself is fully responsible for the stock market's performance in his first 5 days.

#herpderp https://t.co/klve34hdPj 		Wednesday, January 25, 2017 11:56:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Office building needs to lower the fucking heat. It's a waste of energy and it's like 95 in here. Tuesday, January 24, 2017 9:42:06 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @verizonfios It's 2017. Y U NO have IPv6 yet? There's an option for it in the router, but it doesn't work. Even shitty Spectrum has it. Tuesday, January 24, 2017 12:16:35 AMTwitter Web Client
When you have to wake up at 2AM to uncomment a line in a config file Monday, January 23, 2017 5:37:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Russian hackers https://t.co/KZAJoSUWnV Monday, January 23, 2017 4:33:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Makes 0 sense why my Bluetooth headset has mad interference when I'm disconnected from WiFi, but works perfectly when I'm connected... Monday, January 23, 2017 4:33:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Or it's probably the fact that I'm just crazy and intimidating AF Monday, January 23, 2017 12:43:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Psych 101: It's easier for me to say no via chat than in person. It's common sense. Of course I'm a nice guy so this is a non issue anyway https://t.co/YI0k4EoNll Monday, January 23, 2017 12:43:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm in the office. Dude walks past my desk but doesn't stop by to chat. Then slacks me to trade conference rooms. What a pussy assed bitch Monday, January 23, 2017 12:36:55 PMTwitter Web Client
This dude is spot on: https://t.co/KNL85KD2U5

#thefuckingsubway 		Sunday, January 22, 2017 11:27:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Things I just learned about Mad Season:

1) Layne did the album art
2) Mad Season is a British term for when magic mushrooms are in bloom 		Sunday, January 22, 2017 1:52:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Cuncel America Saturday, January 21, 2017 4:21:15 PMTwitter Web Client
This crazy Japanese dude just spent $632,000 on a tuna fish. Comes out to $1356/lb to break even. Flat out nuts https://t.co/tU4f9zl4uB Thursday, January 05, 2017 2:47:06 PMTwitter Web Client
'Merica is dummmmmmmmmmmm https://t.co/CqT5yfC6MW Wednesday, January 04, 2017 10:48:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Coast is clear. Phew. Wednesday, December 28, 2016 12:56:04 AMTwitter Web Client
I almost tagged Mal's ass as "boom boom" on Facebook but good thing I stopped myself because her mom posted the photo #nicesave Saturday, December 24, 2016 12:29:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Blew a .09 and figured out some crazy complicated devops shit. Not good enough to drive but good enough to devops I guess.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 		Tuesday, December 20, 2016 5:10:05 PMTwitter Web Client
I need a goddamn snack https://t.co/qWsbXhO6WC Tuesday, December 20, 2016 3:38:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin this is the problem when you've got bartender friends at an Irish place Tuesday, December 20, 2016 3:31:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Christ. I might be slurring a little Tuesday, December 20, 2016 3:31:03 PMTwitter Web Client
GTF outta here. Legit crying right now https://t.co/cVPm0iTnb0 Tuesday, December 20, 2016 1:37:37 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm on a fucking rampage in this office. Not only is everyone an ignoramus, but fuckin crackheads can come up with better architecture Monday, December 19, 2016 3:29:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't understand how it's possible for people to be SO smelly first thing in the morning. Like fucking wash yourselves... Monday, December 19, 2016 12:10:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@thomaswood @NYGovCuomo New York is fucking stupid, and this is why I moved away. Shit infrastructure, and wasted money
In reply to @thomaswood's tweet
Monday, December 19, 2016 11:25:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @reddit you fucking cocksucker. Spent 2 hours writing a post and no one told me checking this box would reload the page & lose everything https://t.co/yvoVrEp0J6 Monday, December 19, 2016 11:24:44 AMTwitter Web Client
He saw that when he was of anger
Or knew hurt
Or felt fear,
It was because he was not understanding. 		Friday, December 16, 2016 6:19:00 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm efficient as fuck at work. Fuck off 90% of the time, yet still accomplish mad DevOps eliteness. More that other dumbs Friday, December 16, 2016 5:05:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Dat Thickfreakness... Lotsa plays. Love me some thick freaksssssss https://t.co/1diyEClbEb Friday, December 16, 2016 4:58:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Guess I'll be a man of my word and go home in protest of our idiotic architecture decisions https://t.co/bqf7QH3XnG Friday, December 16, 2016 2:18:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I'd do ridiculous things to go back in time and be here: https://t.co/zESp8BZRvJ Thursday, December 15, 2016 2:41:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Visual Studio is updating, so I have ample time to poop

💩💩💩 		Thursday, December 15, 2016 2:01:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Fusilli Emiliana for breakfast Thursday, December 15, 2016 10:06:14 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG @nest is down you guys Tuesday, December 13, 2016 11:21:36 AMTwitter Web Client
I only tweet a lot when I'm in NY because when I'm in NY everything fuckin pisses me off. Monday, December 12, 2016 4:41:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Now everything is perfect again. Fuck IT policy. Only assholes get viruses. https://t.co/uIHnfdeSiL Monday, December 12, 2016 4:30:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Antivirus and IT policy management software made my CPU 100% after installing Windows updates and I uninstalled the FUCK out of them Monday, December 12, 2016 4:29:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Neil Young still makes good fuckin albums. In 2016. I blame drugs Monday, December 12, 2016 4:06:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Going to be at my parents until the 27th. Someone hook a brother up with xanax so I don't lose my goddamn mind Saturday, December 10, 2016 8:22:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Mmmm fusion reactors that run on water and its only byproduct is helium, which there's a shortae of anyway. Need: https://t.co/pyrsfiZPqC Friday, December 09, 2016 4:34:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @MetroNorth fix ya crappy 90s looking website and make your schedules work https://t.co/Hpzl0Ay72v Wednesday, December 07, 2016 12:34:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Working on a production issue since 7:30 AM and it's because Golang was being a finicky cocksucker with the config file. Tuesday, December 06, 2016 5:55:26 PMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool @BrendanClancy It's literally the easiest thing. Just claim ownership and add an RSS feed: https://t.co/OEJOt01o13
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Friday, December 02, 2016 11:57:33 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Scrape all the data and make a visualization
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, December 02, 2016 11:29:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Scripting on Azure https://t.co/1h008q8Yaj Friday, December 02, 2016 10:26:31 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool All you do is add the feed to Google and never touch it again
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Friday, December 02, 2016 10:00:46 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool Could you add the episodes to Google Play podcasts like @BarstoolJJ does? @WhineWithKelly also used to do it but stopped
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Friday, December 02, 2016 10:00:20 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to punch everyone who works on Azure in the face because it's infuriating as fuck to manage. PowerShell commandlets RARELY work Thursday, December 01, 2016 4:02:31 PMTwitter Web Client
#dicksout for @__JLu's birthday Wednesday, November 30, 2016 4:28:03 PMTwitter Web Client
My job is basically me attempting to use broken Azure Powershell bullshit and yelling at Microsoft about it on their forums. Wednesday, November 23, 2016 12:50:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Stop installing this shit on my laptop via policy to eat my CPU cycles https://t.co/CVOAoa2iZG Wednesday, November 23, 2016 10:22:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Can't get my Nest Working with the Amazon Echo. Amazon's integrations are all convoluted.

Alexa, order me a Google Home! 		Tuesday, November 22, 2016 10:39:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Got woken up for oncall. Had to call a DBA in Russia to fix it. She didn't do anything and it magically started working. PLACE FUCKS WITH ME Tuesday, November 22, 2016 4:19:10 AMTwitter Web Client
One day I won't be the Cleveland Browns of bowling https://t.co/HEtq9StX3H Monday, November 21, 2016 9:37:52 PMTwitter Web Client
The @MTA is a piece of shit. Since when do @MetroNorth tickets expire in 2 months? They used to be good for a year. And that $10 refund fee Monday, November 21, 2016 10:58:29 AMTwitter Web Client
I see Mike Pence has a good track record with technology so far 😧
Indiana can't interwebz very well, you guys https://t.co/4Ishg8WUzi 		Wednesday, November 16, 2016 3:26:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I wonder what this tastes like https://t.co/by6uGRsm99 Thursday, November 10, 2016 2:14:37 PMTwitter Web Client
This is my puppy right now. My puppy is literally a Chain Chomp https://t.co/1ijHoPXjr4 Wednesday, November 09, 2016 1:43:27 PMTwitter Web Client
And then /leave Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12:14:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it rude to say "Everything you urgently needed me to fix at 6 was fake and it's all good. Good day." at 12am in my work slack after margs Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12:13:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin idiots. Cried wolf when I was trying to leave and I checked and everything's fine... Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12:11:02 AMTwitter Web Client
CIVIL WAR. We should just split America into redneck idiots and civilized people. Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12:01:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Which idiot is winning the election match?

Hopefully the less batshit crazy one. 		Tuesday, November 08, 2016 11:40:36 PMTwitter Web Client
This is how I answer tickets now... https://t.co/4B9K1LG3xh Tuesday, November 08, 2016 11:39:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Started binge watching House. My conclusion? I'm the IT version of Dr. House and my team's a bunch of IDIOTS. Tuesday, November 08, 2016 11:09:11 PMTwitter Web Client
It's 2016. If you still use a SOAP API, you're an asshole. Fuckin shit is so clunky and repetitive it's not even funny Tuesday, November 08, 2016 4:50:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I can fix anything, cunts Wednesday, November 02, 2016 1:29:34 AMTwitter Web Client
VSTS is a finicky cocksucker that has absolute horseshit documentation Wednesday, November 02, 2016 1:20:05 AMTwitter Web Client
How do you wipe your ass when you poop? Monday, October 31, 2016 1:04:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Since when did Bill Gates get decrepit AF? Guy should be able to buy himself youth https://t.co/kQj1OSeAcB Tuesday, October 25, 2016 9:32:44 AMTwitter Web Client
My 4:30 "30 minute" call is still going on a Friday afternoon. No one knows what the fuck they're doing and I want to jump off a cliff Friday, October 21, 2016 5:39:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I fucking hate cocksucking piece of shit Microsoft Azure. Absolute garbage to manage Friday, October 21, 2016 11:39:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @googlechrome: Fix ya Canary Windows x64 build. It crashes within seconds of launching. Friday, October 21, 2016 11:03:28 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool Look how filthy the NYC subway is. Absolute grimefest
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Thursday, October 20, 2016 5:16:39 PMTwitter Web Client
This 80 degree weather at the end of October is a bunch of horse shit Tuesday, October 18, 2016 1:38:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Absolute horseshit on this article. Ain't no way Manhattan, Jersey City & Brooklyn are happy places to work: https://t.co/pes3sygRxo Tuesday, October 11, 2016 12:07:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Chocolatey is a shitty package manager. No one updates openvpn, php or 7zip packages. The FUCK is the point then Monday, October 10, 2016 5:46:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Picked the wrong week to come into the office. The pen testers are here and will discover all my bullshit I have on my work laptop. Monday, October 10, 2016 5:10:34 PMTwitter Web Client
The more these shitty leaders decide to be fuckin cocksuckers, the longer my lunches get Monday, October 10, 2016 4:21:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Columbus day: A day to celebrate an Italian dude working for Spain who raped and murdered Native Americans Monday, October 10, 2016 1:00:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Don'y buy Samsung phones, people. Been saying this for years. They STINK. They're explosive. Their UI is cartoonish garbage. Monday, October 10, 2016 9:31:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Anyone wanna buy me a Pixel XL? kthxbai Tuesday, October 04, 2016 5:42:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is a fuckin dirtbag, allowing the NSA backdoors secretly. Never liked her. Tuesday, October 04, 2016 4:40:07 PMTwitter Web Client
🎵 Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it 🎵 Friday, September 30, 2016 9:25:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Such a strange incorrect password message. ESL on the developer who wrote that one much? #abuserslist https://t.co/chYBCm7iMT Thursday, September 29, 2016 11:54:53 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Any way to only allow https from WAN and not http? Radio button is all or nothing. I don't mind http via LAN, but not WAN https://t.co/G8LDKW6ugp
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Thursday, September 22, 2016 11:38:04 PMTwitter Web Client