5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER TOWEL RACK!!!11 I MUST BUY THIS HOUSE https://t.co/cesk6plQr1 Saturday, July 28, 2018 1:34:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Are these people fucking for real with this listing photo? Your house is garbage and your photo is garbage. What makes you think this shit will sell your house. Idiot https://t.co/mu7LK7iNaj Saturday, July 28, 2018 1:33:11 AMTwitter Web Client
This documentation FUCKING SUCKS

https://t.co/UGVnzfDqva
Friday, July 27, 2018 3:43:40 PMTwitter Web Client
NBD, just trying to avoid setting up a holding corporation and pay cash to shut up a stripper I banged... https://t.co/qLS5K2yUIx Wednesday, July 25, 2018 12:33:13 PMTwitter Web Client
This just caused me to cancel my new york trip you stupid fucks.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, July 24, 2018 10:20:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @ups fuckers. If I live in Columbus and my package was in columbus at 3AM this morning, what the fuck is is doing in michigan https://t.co/WffWqDgtbK Tuesday, July 24, 2018 10:04:56 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev OK. Would we eventually see all of the improvements in your firmware from 384.6 once ASUS releases the GPL source code for the 87u?
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Monday, July 23, 2018 12:08:17 AMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev If price was no object, what would your preferred ASUS router be (taking into consideration how well it's supported by ASUS and fast hardware)?
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Friday, July 20, 2018 10:12:44 AMTwitter Web Client
How is it that Google gets sued for forcing its Google Apps stack on anyone with an Android when Apple does the SAME thing. They preinstall Safari, their mail app, their calendar app, photos, etc Wednesday, July 18, 2018 12:38:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Ever since @googlechrome enabled this site isolation shit, the browser is laggy AF and I even have a surfacebook. Suck it @intel with your shitty processor design. We're regressing here instead of advancing Tuesday, July 17, 2018 12:45:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ. I take ONE Friday off and my team manages to break the entire build system and also deployed an old version of one of our apps because they didn't git pull before making changes. Monday, July 16, 2018 10:09:43 AMTwitter Web Client
@AjitPaiFCC @StateDept @ECAatState @TechGirls As educated young women pursuing technology careers, surely they realized @AjitPaiFCC is a corporate sellout joke who does not do anything to protect consumers' rights.

Resign.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, July 12, 2018 5:08:22 PMTwitter Web Client
@AjitPaiFCC @StateDept @ECAatState @TechGirls Did they have to pay $225 to take that picture with you?
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Thursday, July 12, 2018 5:06:18 PMTwitter Web Client
@senjudiciary @WSJ @POTUS He's a dumbass bitch who wants to block websites on the internet like we're the Great Firewall of China.
In reply to @senjudiciary's tweet
Tuesday, July 10, 2018 8:44:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Global Warming? Humans even caused Lunar warming!

https://t.co/CxeyCcSTHj
Monday, July 09, 2018 3:39:24 PMTwitter Web Client
I just had a disaster recovery exercise go horribly wrong in production because Azure is a piece of shit to manage.

I have a raging headache, and now I have to explain this fucking shit. Gonna be a wonderful Monday.
Monday, July 09, 2018 2:24:59 AMTwitter Web Client
You guys! I'm so relieved that Trump's @EPA arranged it so that formaldehyde won't give me cancer anymore. Now I can rub it all over myself to preserve my youth!

#MakeChemicalsSafeAgain

https://t.co/sRQ96pc2kd
Friday, July 06, 2018 1:32:28 PMTwitter Web Client
FYI: @zoho @servicedeskplus is a dumpster fire piece of shit system Friday, July 06, 2018 11:59:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @EPAScottPruitt! Go FUCK YOURSELF! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out you crooked bastard

Go suffocate on greenhouse gases you idiot
Thursday, July 05, 2018 4:40:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Who's on the @Windows DPI team? You're all fired. https://t.co/vJpoLDdFsa Wednesday, June 27, 2018 2:51:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Now that we're an Office 365 shop, let me be clear how much of a piece of shit Skype for Business is Wednesday, June 27, 2018 9:55:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Slack is down. Now we don't have to do any work today Wednesday, June 27, 2018 9:45:42 AMTwitter Web Client
The United States is a garbage country Tuesday, June 26, 2018 1:32:43 PMTwitter Web Client
What in the actual fuck did @googlechrome do to their UI in Canary? it literally looks like we went back in time 5 years to Firefox's UI Tuesday, June 26, 2018 1:28:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Flat Earthers: How do you explain airplanes very far in the distance that leave vapor trails traveling straight up or down? Tuesday, June 19, 2018 1:37:53 PMTwitter Web Client
The Slack Windows 10 app is a piece of shit Wednesday, May 16, 2018 12:48:54 PMTwitter Web Client
MY FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM STINKS Thursday, April 19, 2018 9:35:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Pellentesque interdum rutrum sodales. Nullam mattis fermentum libero, non volutpat.

Anything after that is > 140 chrs and I'm testing their tweet_mode=extended on user_timeline.json API
Tuesday, April 10, 2018 4:58:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Just got paged with a server alert. No longer annoyed now that the new company actually pays overtime for this shit. Tuesday, April 10, 2018 2:20:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Wanna know how much of a weirdo I am? So I had a bunch of sour patch kids in my left hand. Then I licked my wedding ring because it tasted like sugar. Monday, April 02, 2018 2:59:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @Twitter IDGAF about tweets my followers like. My timeline should be just their tweets, in reverse chronological order. Stop trying to be Facebook and Instagram. Wednesday, March 28, 2018 10:12:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Blackened comes on my shuffle. Mal: "That's how you've been driving recently"

I may have road raged a guy who put his high beams in my eyes when I couldn't go faster than the guy in front of me, even though he had room to pass.

https://t.co/n2qCe3oAGN
Friday, March 09, 2018 12:38:14 PMTwitter Web Client
These people are sick in the fuckin head and living in a fantasy world

https://t.co/ADCa0ScWQQ

This video is absolutely enraging and ignorant.
Friday, March 09, 2018 11:01:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Walmart is on my shit list. Wednesday, March 07, 2018 12:50:06 PMTwitter Web Client
noob relational DBs, as explained by Portfolioso https://t.co/AKxvcTXsOF Tuesday, March 06, 2018 1:53:01 PMTwitter Web Client
@jiaaro Microsoft's entire authentication process is garbage.
In reply to @jiaaro's tweet
Tuesday, March 06, 2018 12:35:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @kristinegWP... Why is your article on the kid getting bitten by a dog so biased? You made it sound like it was an unprovoked attack, but left out the fact that the owner warned the kid not to approach the dog Friday, February 23, 2018 3:39:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Plus, he overshot its orbit. NASA doesn't fuck up. They sent New Horizons past Pluto. Elon Musk is amateur hour in space. Consult with actual rocket scientists, ya cocky bastard
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, February 07, 2018 6:25:39 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/Si28ytN5e8

See. Told ya he was a non-physicist douche... Musk claimed his care would be in orbit for a billion years. But radiation will ruin it in much less than that. Idiot. https://t.co/2LGi25J8Ou
Wednesday, February 07, 2018 6:24:06 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/2QhOri2cZ7

Thanks O̶b̶a̶m̶a̶, Trump!
Wednesday, February 07, 2018 1:43:05 PMTwitter Web Client
@SteveScalise @AjitPaiFCC You're a fucking moron who doesn't know how the internet works
In reply to @SteveScalise's tweet
Friday, December 15, 2017 10:59:06 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @LatestAnonNews: The FCC has voted to remove your freedom to information. That said, this will not go unpunished.

Anonymous ensures tha…
Friday, December 15, 2017 10:46:43 AMTwitter Web Client
@EvanS_FCC @BrendanCarrFCC https://t.co/u1exSNHbyK
In reply to @EvanS_FCC's tweet
Thursday, December 14, 2017 1:26:08 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/m6HePVYBrc Thursday, December 14, 2017 1:25:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @BrendanCarrFCC you're a fucking moron too. Hate Obama much? Thursday, December 14, 2017 12:23:22 PMTwitter Web Client
hey @mikeofcc you fucking hack. What do you know about how the internet works. Shut your whore mouth Thursday, December 14, 2017 12:12:09 PMTwitter Web Client
OK. So I quit this account because it was making me a miserable negative person... But I'm making a temporary exception b/c it's the drunken company party tonight, so I'm bringing it back.

Also Ajit Pai is a cunt so I need to rip on him.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017 4:36:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Stop tweeting about stupid fucking sauce and go kill yourself. No one likes you, you miserable corporate shill. I hope a tree falls on you. https://t.co/4kYu54lWUv Wednesday, December 13, 2017 4:01:19 PMTwitter Web Client
@AjitPaiFCC @SenateMajLdr @FCC kill yourself
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Wednesday, December 13, 2017 3:39:22 PMTwitter Web Client
I kind of quit this twitter account, but I just wanted to point out this goofy, gopher-assed looking motherfucker. Die in a bus fire. https://t.co/PAjqu42g10 Monday, November 27, 2017 2:08:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I love how I'm a fuckin tech guy and all my technology sucks a cock Friday, September 15, 2017 1:35:42 AMTwitter Web Client
No charger I have actually works on my phone, so I've got a glorified fucking brick. You piece of shit Motorola cuntish piece of shit Friday, September 15, 2017 1:35:14 AMTwitter Web Client
AT&T UVerse Stinks https://t.co/0z9zQMLsrU Friday, September 15, 2017 1:34:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Decided to casually stop by Costco for like 10 mins.... Annnnnnd I spent $148. FML Thursday, August 31, 2017 4:56:30 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a pain in the ass you @vizio cocksuckers
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:51:41 AMTwitter Web Client
OK, I figured out how to get the Cast screen back. Have to do three things after turning the TV on though. WITH THE APP (need new remote) Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:51:19 AMTwitter Web Client
These stupid fucking @VIZIO cunts only give you 15 minutes to enter the code to order a free remote. Mine fucking expired. Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:36:41 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Also, the amount of data Vizio collects on you is FUCKED up and they got fined for being deceptive cunts: https://t.co/zuj1gR2078
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:30:14 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Let alone, ruined perfectly good Google Cast integration with their own built in apps and ads BULLSHIT. He @VIZIO, eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:22:26 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO They literally shipped a software update that requires a new remote. Are you fucking serious?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:21:18 AMTwitter Web Client
@VIZIO Yo @VIZIO go fuck yourselves. You have some nerve for updating my firmware and changing the ENTIRE way my fucking TV works.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:19:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to go to war with the stupid fucks who made my tv, @VIZIO Thursday, August 31, 2017 1:18:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Please always document the ridiculous things your students say on here https://t.co/bmmkpb0PY7 Tuesday, August 29, 2017 11:48:33 AMTwitter Web Client
My entire childhood has been ruined! You've gotta be kidding me. You mean to tell me Natalie Imbruglia's Torn is a cover! For serious? Monday, August 28, 2017 10:26:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the face of someone who's been cunceled https://t.co/VgVwG7U1Uq Monday, August 28, 2017 10:08:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Monday. I roll out of bed to do a maintenance and it puts me in an instantly foul mood. Monday, August 28, 2017 9:11:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft Azure is a godforsaken piece of dogshit. I had a working script on friday that's failing for absolutely no reason Monday, August 28, 2017 9:11:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @SIRIUSXM: y'all players need to optimize your Windows Store app. By no means should an audio stream use 30% of my CPU and 350 MB of RAM https://t.co/zVGJLYv2uA Friday, August 25, 2017 1:38:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Work laptop at 100% CPU. After removing all the shit antivirus and IT management spyware they put on my computer, it is running just fine. Friday, August 25, 2017 10:57:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Good Job, Delta. This is not very punctual. Also, @LGAairport stinks. https://t.co/JZjZmNDnGE Friday, August 18, 2017 1:01:20 PMTwitter Web Client
A big fuggoff to the moneybags team. I was jammin to Doc Robinson and they made me join their shitty release meeting and harshed my mellow Thursday, August 17, 2017 3:12:35 PMTwitter Web Client
The minute music stops giving me goosebumps, I don't want to be alive anymore Thursday, August 17, 2017 3:03:56 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a literal footnote I put into an analysis document for our CTO, because I call out people's stupidity https://t.co/787EdjDrwm Wednesday, August 16, 2017 2:05:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Went to get water from the work kitchen and did an about face when I saw our comptroller there. She's nice, but I don't do small talk Wednesday, August 16, 2017 11:38:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Well this isn't where I parked my car https://t.co/NEUTmfCY9a Tuesday, August 15, 2017 1:29:20 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu I've got 477 wedding pics missing timestamps and need to write a script to correct it so they stay in the right order on Google Photos
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, August 15, 2017 1:20:46 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm a sleep deprived idiot... I just tried to do math in the Windows file path bar as if it were a browser: https://t.co/nROsPAtqoL Tuesday, August 15, 2017 1:12:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Chrome canary omnibar is jacked in the latest build. It doesn't dismiss unless you delete all the text in it. dafuq Monday, August 14, 2017 5:12:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @verizonfios @verizonsupport How badly are you shaping Zoom conference call traffic? I'm getting 85MBPS up/down and it's robotic Monday, August 14, 2017 3:09:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Gotta be kidding me with this invisible fucking unicode that caused all my shit to break this AM https://t.co/MIjaGfkxuO Thursday, August 10, 2017 12:01:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I just re-watched my insta story and I'm certifiably insane Saturday, August 05, 2017 1:24:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Azure is annoying af Thursday, August 03, 2017 6:11:36 PMTwitter Web Client
My boss needs to eat a dick, the director of Architecture needs to eat a dick and the CTO also needs to eat a dick Tuesday, August 01, 2017 5:53:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Azure sucks a cock Tuesday, August 01, 2017 4:40:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey @Ticketmaster, eat a dick. How are you charging $11.15 in fees for ONE $37.50 ticket? ~30% of the original ticket price is added fees! https://t.co/wOV1stLdOY Monday, July 31, 2017 12:43:49 PMTwitter Web Client
I literally did a deck change into los jorts at my desk. I'm en los jorts right now. In public. Thursday, July 13, 2017 12:40:49 PMTwitter Web Client
This is such an alarmist clickbait title. He wasn't inside an ATM. He was locked in a maintenance room behind one.

https://t.co/xilbwjEOfI
Thursday, July 13, 2017 12:31:28 PMTwitter Web Client
.@AjitPaiFCC is a stupid fucking cunt trying to ruin the internet in favor of greedy ISPs. Eat a dick, sir Wednesday, July 12, 2017 10:45:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Commits from @portfolioso https://t.co/uVYpH30iUa Tuesday, July 11, 2017 5:53:23 PMTwitter Web Client
This entire government administration is a motherfuckin joke shop embarrassment to the world Tuesday, July 11, 2017 3:18:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Why is @GooglePlayMusic's shuffle so shitty? 1400 songs in a playlist with 100+ artists and I'm only hearing songs from the same 5 artists Tuesday, July 11, 2017 3:12:30 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm back in NYC until Friday, so let's see how long it takes for me to start raging Tuesday, July 11, 2017 12:14:40 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm bringing jorts back Tuesday, July 11, 2017 12:13:16 PMTwitter Web Client
My shit. It works. Other players' shit? Doesn't work Thursday, June 29, 2017 10:05:09 PMTwitter Web Client
That's some bullshit Tuesday, June 27, 2017 11:37:52 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev You ever see SSH and httpd hang on the 87u? I can't SSH or use the WebUI unless I power cycle. Happened to me in older versions https://t.co/G5oiUeAwqk
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Tuesday, June 27, 2017 10:38:51 PMTwitter Web Client
How about SiriusXM playing Hashpipe on Lithium at 4:20 PM on a causal Tuesday afternoon? Tuesday, June 27, 2017 4:21:04 PMTwitter Web Client
These guinea pigs have got to go. All their bedding and shit doubled in price on Amazon and they smell like a barn Sunday, June 25, 2017 11:24:48 AMTwitter Web Client
night https://t.co/O46YUw85RT Saturday, June 24, 2017 2:28:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Nothing works... Saturday, June 24, 2017 2:23:48 AMTwitter Web Client