5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Saturday, June 24, 2017 2:19:55 AMTwitter Web Client
derp Saturday, June 24, 2017 2:09:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test https://t.co/l10x3fEfet Saturday, June 24, 2017 1:45:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Trying this again. Apparently, it's as simple as adding tweet_mode=extended to the statuses/show.json endpoint. test test la la la la la la https://t.co/sQp8NEJjan Saturday, June 24, 2017 1:23:52 AMTwitter Web Client
This is a test of a very long tweet (near 140 characters) and a photo. Testing my twitter app, which can't handle new features they added.. https://t.co/p1JhxS8t8w Saturday, June 24, 2017 12:55:54 AMTwitter Web Client
How about @getspectrum making a big deal about updating my modem firmware... From a 2/2016 to 7/2016 build. It's still 11 months old, dudes https://t.co/Vsy2OHyREi Friday, June 23, 2017 1:08:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Slack really needs to stop being an asshole and randomly ending up 5 miles off my screen with no way for me to get it back. Wednesday, June 21, 2017 10:12:51 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 2017. Fuck yourself if your inept WebEx conference requires me to dial in by phone and not use computer audio Tuesday, June 20, 2017 10:13:23 AMTwitter Web Client
These idiots just sent me a ticket to automate a process that their own dev team can't get to work manually. smh. Tuesday, June 13, 2017 2:36:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Tanaka Stinks Monday, June 12, 2017 10:30:42 PMTwitter Web Client
First day back from honeymoon. Boss is off. #winning Monday, June 12, 2017 6:12:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Last day before two weeks off, so cuncel da tickets. Literally cuncelling a dumb ticket someone sent me https://t.co/qEnTS4uE7k Thursday, May 25, 2017 4:52:49 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Hate that too. If I'm almost going 90 in the left lane and someone's up my ass, by all means, I'd rather them pass and get the ticket
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, May 23, 2017 12:41:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin iOS has no notion of a file system. How am I supposed to back up the video of me shirtless screaming temple of the dog from snapchat? Monday, May 22, 2017 1:15:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Windows 10 Creators update... Y U SO unstable? Dafuq is this, Windows 98? System locks up after entering a bad pw? Come on. Thursday, May 18, 2017 8:02:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Feel like we lost this gem when Vine folded, so I recreated it. #franceser #mongo @MikeFrancesaNY https://t.co/UczpdN28C9 Wednesday, May 17, 2017 5:17:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Breaking news! Trump's a dumbass! Everyone sell your stock. https://t.co/HKoWJSbCtT Wednesday, May 17, 2017 4:43:18 PMTwitter Web Client
microsoft can go suck a fucking dick with MSMQ clustering and its horseshit management and permissions of it. garbage. Tuesday, May 16, 2017 6:06:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Nothing is fuckin working right now Tuesday, May 16, 2017 3:13:12 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm all for Windows 10 and staying up to date and shit, but MSFT is annoying af with how persistent they bug me to install feature updates Monday, May 15, 2017 10:04:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I fucking SUCK at beer pong holy christ Friday, May 12, 2017 7:36:12 PMTwitter Web Client
♪ Cubans with the Jesus piece ♪ Thursday, May 11, 2017 6:34:44 PMTwitter Web Client
How about CNN stealing ideas off my old tweets about old millennials not knowing how to use Snapchat? https://t.co/67kzn0Als5 #oldmillennial https://t.co/wdpaMcDmB8 Tuesday, May 09, 2017 10:08:47 AMTwitter Web Client
No sympathy for garbage Spirit Airlines whose pilots refuse to fly. Maybe if they didn't charge you to breathe... https://t.co/8X2HgwroEK Tuesday, May 09, 2017 9:14:01 AMTwitter Web Client
You know, just debugging live in production on a casual Sunday night Monday, May 08, 2017 12:15:21 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @ehubbs13: What a fucking win!! The Comeback Kids strike again!! It's Cinco de Mayo Friday after beating the WS champs Lets go OFF https… Friday, May 05, 2017 5:40:13 PMTwitter Web Client
the MSFT Distributed Transaction Coordinator is the most fucked up convoluted shit I've ever worked with in my life Friday, May 05, 2017 12:35:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey assholes over at @Azure This is a valid cron expression, eat a dick https://t.co/ehisXZXrjf Friday, May 05, 2017 10:31:32 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy Friday to ya from a guy who has no idea where he is - Joe Cocker's keyboard dude live at the Fillmore East in 1970. https://t.co/Bu6rhFLfgI Friday, May 05, 2017 9:58:09 AMTwitter Web Client
You need a guy to rile the team up. Can't be losing to trash team Toronto https://t.co/PfxaSQaq2Q Wednesday, May 03, 2017 9:44:26 PMTwitter Web Client
LOVE Gardner smashing the shit out of the garbage can! That was the problem with the Yankees the past decade. No @PaulONeillYES flipping out Wednesday, May 03, 2017 9:44:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey assholes at Motorola. Still don't have Nougat on my Pure Edition you fuckin slows. And I'm rocking 12/2016 security patches. Real secure Wednesday, May 03, 2017 6:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
This idiot recommends an S8 over a pixel. What an idiot https://t.co/PXSfemW8OX Wednesday, May 03, 2017 10:52:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft Azure sucks a dick Tuesday, May 02, 2017 6:36:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Hmm. The milk expired on 4/18, but it's still good if it doesn't taste sour, right? Tuesday, May 02, 2017 9:48:03 AMTwitter Web Client
@KFCBarstool @ky9
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Sunday, April 30, 2017 5:17:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ, CC Friday, April 28, 2017 7:59:43 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm sick as a fuckin dog and I blame filthy New York Friday, April 28, 2017 7:28:07 PMTwitter Web Client
These consultants are the dumbest fuckin engineers ever. Thursday, April 27, 2017 3:59:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Someone teach these cunts git 101 before wasting half my day on shit some 10th grade intro to programming student should know Monday, April 24, 2017 2:20:53 PMTwitter Web Client
It's a Buddy Guy kind of morning Friday, April 21, 2017 11:04:31 AMTwitter Web Client
I have a countdown on our ops display until a contract is up with a client, telling them to F off. Our whole exec team just saw it & lol'd Thursday, April 20, 2017 9:49:46 AMTwitter Web Client
My work laptop was completely fine, then I come into the office and they apply BULLSHIT GPOs which crippled half of my shit. #cunts Thursday, April 20, 2017 9:13:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Always get a kick out of the grammar/writing style of our offshore developers https://t.co/Hk8nzXMOpT Monday, April 17, 2017 11:36:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Seems Legit: https://t.co/09IyjNQK82 Monday, April 17, 2017 10:36:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Yo @gitlab, I can't see your changelog because the repository isn't displaying this readme: https://t.co/28WAFnF43O yet @gitlabstatus = good Thursday, April 13, 2017 4:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Just throwing this out there, but the Cisco Anyconnect VPN is a piece of shit. Thursday, April 13, 2017 9:51:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus H. Christ, @LinkedIn. What dumb asshole decided it was a good idea to send an InMail message with enter by default? https://t.co/yzqnFYhGIx Monday, April 10, 2017 5:50:56 PMTwitter Web Client
23andme knows I'm large and get mad FOMO when other people are eating anything https://t.co/qxPo3qJcXY Friday, April 07, 2017 6:07:16 PMTwitter Web Client
@jerrythornton1 #sexscandalteacher Catholic School teacher! https://t.co/eizoLFQ2gx https://t.co/ldRihLpAVZ Saturday, April 01, 2017 4:37:10 PMTwitter Web Client
only in fuckin eastchester do you have landscapers that uses 5 leaf blowers at a time. shut the fuck up outside. trying to sleep Saturday, April 01, 2017 3:46:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Our database since 11AM: https://t.co/7rDbsItxMW Friday, March 31, 2017 3:18:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck coal. idiot. https://t.co/XoWPezPYmN Friday, March 31, 2017 11:17:18 AMTwitter Web Client
The EPA people should bathe in it then https://t.co/rRLXbe4X0p Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:13:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Amazing how ignorant these people are saying this shit is safe. Enjoy your cancer https://t.co/yfApxyLRDB Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:13:30 PMTwitter Web Client
This tachy shit's gotta stop. Can't have my heart rate at 117 just from standing up Thursday, March 30, 2017 1:14:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Nowwwww the hangover's kicking in Thursday, March 30, 2017 12:32:46 PMTwitter Web Client
my heart rate is through the roof according to my fitbit. need the cardiac icu and IV fluids Thursday, March 30, 2017 12:19:53 PMTwitter Web Client
In my infinite wisdom, just told the IT guy "the good will be good, the bad will be bad" and "water is wet" Thursday, March 30, 2017 10:41:08 AMTwitter Web Client
I blew a .19 at 9AM Thursday, March 30, 2017 10:20:05 AMTwitter Web Client
My boss just asked me how many fingers he was holding up. smh Thursday, March 30, 2017 10:08:28 AMTwitter Web Client
why are my socks wet? Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:13:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Always a bad sign waking up on Vinny's couch not knowing what the actual fuck happened Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:08:25 AMTwitter Web Client
it's 8am and i'm hammered drunk right now wtf Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:05:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Last night was worse than my bachelor party Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:03:56 AMTwitter Web Client
What the actual fuck happened last night? Thursday, March 30, 2017 8:03:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Great administration we've got going on here. Your ISPs can now sell your data and the environment has been cuncelled. Wednesday, March 29, 2017 9:33:00 AMTwitter Web Client
The crazy Russian bastards I work with are trying to get me to go to a Russian bath house in deep Brooklyn aka Russia 2.0 and I'm scared Tuesday, March 28, 2017 12:44:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Client is setting me up an account with their host. When you call support, they ask a security question. Making all of them uncomfortable https://t.co/cfyli8vN2x Monday, March 27, 2017 4:52:07 PMTwitter Web Client
this place sucks a cock Monday, March 27, 2017 2:51:41 PMTwitter Web Client
We've got a QA team that's testing code compiled from a deleted git branch. They have no fuckin idea what they're even testing. Ops prob tho Monday, March 27, 2017 12:26:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I walked into the office for the first time in 2 months and I'm about to get on a plane right back to Columbus Monday, March 27, 2017 12:24:15 PMTwitter Web Client
status: https://t.co/wQ2JY36BDa Monday, March 27, 2017 11:52:52 AMTwitter Web Client
i'm losing all my motherfuckin money Monday, March 27, 2017 11:36:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Someone get our CTO on suicide watch after our uptime dropped to 99.6 this weekend Monday, March 27, 2017 10:19:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Off tomorrow, then it's the bachelor party. Shit's gon' be cray. I'm already a cray on normal days... Thursday, March 23, 2017 6:58:18 PMTwitter Web Client
CVS stopped selling cigarettes 2 yrs ago; correlate it to immortality

(source: https://t.co/fWQ3eDLvo4) https://t.co/ntzmJx00PE 		Tuesday, March 21, 2017 10:27:38 AMTwitter Web Client
buncha fuckin morons running this bitch. Merica Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:43 AMTwitter Web Client
This is fucking stupid. So if the tablet/laptop is a timebomb, it'll be safer in the checked area than the cabin? https://t.co/2MUqILasvc Tuesday, March 21, 2017 9:31:27 AMTwitter Web Client
You have Siri, Alexa, Google Assistant and to a lesser extent, Cortana, all with huge user bases. Don't need another shitty one in the mix https://t.co/hXTJLCb45M Monday, March 20, 2017 2:16:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking hate Samsung... Why can't they just implement Google Assistant? Ruining the stock Android experience
https://t.co/d3v9wdjJ5x 		Monday, March 20, 2017 2:14:16 PMTwitter Web Client
My advice to a bitch ass client this fine AM https://t.co/tNTrI9Hlq6 Monday, March 20, 2017 9:35:44 AMTwitter Web Client
We need to got back to the days where Will Smith is rapping about CD Roms again Friday, March 17, 2017 10:24:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Luna's spread eagle and there's absolutely absurd dialogue on Netflix in the background https://t.co/aqLCIGDYxg Monday, March 13, 2017 5:20:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Time Warner/Charter Spectrum transition. Billin portal's broken af... The ONE invoice I need for my expense report is not available Wednesday, March 08, 2017 11:45:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Found really old screenshots of old text messages. I beat the Biebs to the whole dick area thing by 7 years... https://t.co/JPPAxm5bY4 Wednesday, March 08, 2017 1:02:41 PMTwitter Web Client
#AbusersList throwback from '08. They're so damn dramatic, relax guys. Came back from class one day to this: https://t.co/OeLdF5ZXpC Wednesday, March 08, 2017 1:00:14 PMTwitter Web Client
@thomaswood @AmericanAir @British_Airways 'Merica Stinks! Monday, March 06, 2017 5:24:55 PMTwitter Web Client
But Trump promised me there would be more 'Murrican jobs! 😡https://t.co/ITpgpjbr2D Monday, March 06, 2017 5:23:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Back with another one of those block rockin' beats Monday, March 06, 2017 5:12:10 PMTwitter Web Client
And I have to go to piece of shit work tomorrow Monday, March 06, 2017 1:16:30 AMTwitter Web Client
I'll be in a bad mood for a while Monday, March 06, 2017 1:01:05 AMTwitter Web Client
This is the first smartphone screen I shattered... And I was stone cold sober. Sunday, March 05, 2017 5:12:00 PMTwitter Web Client
I just dropped my fucking phone flat on its fucking screen on concrete and now it doesn't work at all. It made it 1.5 years I guess Sunday, March 05, 2017 4:26:34 PMTwitter Web Client
@Windows Why does my key repeat rate keep changing to be slow. Also, the setting in the control panel is busted https://t.co/x9YGcZw4Kt Thursday, March 02, 2017 10:13:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Windows 10 sucks a cock because of its slow assed key repeat rate. Drives me up the wall. https://t.co/x9YGcZNFC1 Thursday, March 02, 2017 10:11:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Picked up a Gronk Monster energy at the gas station because Gronk is bro af. It markets itself. Tuesday, February 28, 2017 5:39:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Also, the fiancée was NOT pleased with me. She was in the middle of picking out her wedding shoes; I was laughing at a Bieber dick tweet Friday, February 24, 2017 1:14:06 PMTwitter Web Client
I am not proud of the fact that I [soberly] laughed at the Biebs tweeting about his dick area for 5 mins.. Friday, February 24, 2017 1:07:43 PMTwitter Web Client
I legit laughed at "dick area" for 5 minutes straight https://t.co/dguzTXFOP0 Friday, February 24, 2017 1:04:46 PMTwitter Web Client