Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
« Back to Source List

[«]‹12345›[»]
Page 3 of 24 | Showing 501 to 750
Tweet Date Source
The firewalls are overloaded, a CPU failed in our SQL cluster, we're doing a half assed rollout Monday night and I'm on call #fuckmylife Sunday, April 24, 2016 8:11:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey sucks a dick at documentation Friday, April 22, 2016 1:24:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Marketing dept over at @Azure: "Our portal is such a fuckin piece of shit, you might as well just do everything through Powershell" Friday, April 22, 2016 12:20:07 PMTwitter Web Client
2001 on loop all day long and I'm all like "fuck you too bitch call the cops" Wednesday, April 20, 2016 3:41:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Get this fuckin corpse away from my desk. Asks me if sql scripts were run in 2014. How the hell should I know. What are you a comedian? Tuesday, April 19, 2016 3:22:29 PMTwitter Web Client
#AzurePortal https://t.co/osWNTCVYZN Sunday, April 17, 2016 1:29:32 AMTwitter Web Client
What dumb bitch at @Azure thought it was a good idea for the portal to scroll horizontally? Thing keeps auto scrolling and spazzing out Sunday, April 17, 2016 1:26:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Azure sucks 12 dicks Friday, April 15, 2016 7:13:14 PMTwitter Web Client
@scoopandslam Hipster millennials living paycheck to paycheck with college debt who think some dark magician can fix everything!
In reply to @scoopandslam's tweet
 Wednesday, April 13, 2016 1:05:52 PMTwitter Web Client
When will @PaulONeillYES be in the broadcast booth and can he please throw a water cooler at @RealMichaelKay ? Tuesday, April 12, 2016 2:15:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Dude. PHP 7 is fuckin fast (for a scripting language) Tuesday, April 12, 2016 2:13:15 PMTwitter Web Client
My junk is legitimately wearing a hole out in my jeans Thursday, April 07, 2016 5:34:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Opening Day (Take 2)! Tuesday, April 05, 2016 1:02:55 PMTwitter Web Client
The entire @NYCTSubway sucked 12 dicks this morning. https://t.co/qLjU9aurhz Tuesday, April 05, 2016 10:49:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Just told our security analyst that if she saw any alerts for a production linux server, it was me trying to guess the root password Tuesday, March 29, 2016 10:40:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Probably need to rebuild my VPS because fuckin apt-get is a piece of shit and fucked up all my mysql dependencies #forfuckssake Monday, March 28, 2016 12:25:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Grammar brah. Too lazy to tweet it again properly
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:45:33 AMTwitter Web Client
I've got @MalJNew is yelling at me for being on my computer coding, yet at the same time @BadPointer is all like: https://t.co/6wUlXkgBtz Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:44:12 AMTwitter Web Client
This bag of vino's going down reallll smooth you guys. #Klassy Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:07:36 AMTwitter Web Client
When a VP asks you to join a meeting, replying "nah son" is both hysterical and probably not recommended Wednesday, March 23, 2016 10:58:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Have 32 bit VM and the official redis Windows port is x64 only, so I compiled it as x86 myself. Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyy Tuesday, March 22, 2016 9:47:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Come on, Boaty McBoatFace is the best boat name ever. Even @XtinaSchelin supports renaming one of our servers to ServerMcServerFace01 Monday, March 21, 2016 5:24:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Gotta love my dev team talking about point of sale user stories #JustTheTip https://t.co/YeSEVj3rIK Monday, March 21, 2016 4:11:43 PMTwitter Web Client
In internet argument with Motorola forum mods trying to explain that there is no way in icy hell this is patched: https://t.co/mIQhbQktng Monday, March 21, 2016 3:26:59 PMTwitter Web Client
The Black keys were so much more awesome when they were grungy/blusey. They got all mainstream hipster and around/after El Camino Thursday, March 17, 2016 4:10:46 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of savage asshole would bring pizza into the conference room next to my desk while I'm on day 3/3 of my juice cleanse? Wednesday, March 16, 2016 12:10:29 PMTwitter Web Client
It was a VP in the technology department, which makes this even better.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Friday, March 11, 2016 10:38:28 AMTwitter Web Client
If you're a VP at a tech company, get your account compromised and send the entire company phishing emails, you're an asshole Friday, March 11, 2016 10:36:22 AMTwitter Web Client
If you buy an Android phone from a carrier, you're an asshole. Only buy an unlocked phone with no bloatware! https://t.co/PdpY3ATRUM Thursday, March 10, 2016 4:14:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Can you motherfuckers be loud somewhere else? Tuesday, March 08, 2016 5:27:13 PMTwitter Web Client
To the people who said my powershell was too weak, suck my dick. Just wait until you see what I'm about to drop onto github. Monday, March 07, 2016 4:47:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Protip: If you put a torch on an LCD monitor, you'll end up with stuck pixels Friday, March 04, 2016 5:35:23 PMTwitter Web Client
It's GOTTA suck if your last name is poon. Your last name is a slang vagina. Friday, March 04, 2016 5:13:45 PMTwitter Web Client
'Cause this is my United States of WHATEVER Friday, March 04, 2016 5:09:44 PMTwitter Web Client
IDK how i feel about the Pope popping up on my timeline after I tweet some BS #goingtohell https://t.co/3VgiDHVKAv Friday, March 04, 2016 4:34:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Freddy's a fuckin G. Last week, he's fingerblasting. This week, he's got milfs. Friday, March 04, 2016 4:30:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Freddy's mackin' on this milf right now. O shit. She just slid over a seat at the bar. #getitin Friday, March 04, 2016 3:57:34 PMTwitter Web Client
@Android Fix this fuckin bluetooth bug so I stop factory resetting my phone 6 times a week https://t.co/By330odfZs
In reply to @Android's tweet
 Thursday, March 03, 2016 4:46:56 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/WEzzYeR4F6 https://t.co/tXWDQeDhgg Thursday, March 03, 2016 4:41:23 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu They'd upsell a pile of shit if they could. Aggressive upsell tactics, SOPA support, shittu UX/UI and the elephant killing CEO: BAI đź‘‹
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Thursday, March 03, 2016 2:48:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Career advice, with @portfolioso https://t.co/Q8ab62cVf7 Thursday, March 03, 2016 10:30:24 AMTwitter Web Client
@RockNationRadio Now that. That, I'll go see
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
 Thursday, March 03, 2016 10:15:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Everything about GoDaddy sucks a dick. Even transferring out. Thursday, March 03, 2016 9:30:37 AMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ So do they retroactively suspend David Justice?
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
 Tuesday, March 01, 2016 4:49:08 PMTwitter Web Client
I owe New York State $5 in taxes. I hope they use it to fix the MTA. Tuesday, March 01, 2016 4:06:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin Google sheets. I shouldn't be able to completely crash and hang your web app locally with a specially crafted use of functions... Monday, February 29, 2016 11:29:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Leo: "OMG Climate change is bad"

**hops on private jet** 		Monday, February 29, 2016 4:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
I use really mature names for my variables... https://t.co/3Ncm5NU43N Monday, February 29, 2016 4:47:49 PMTwitter Web Client
It just took my boss 15 minutes to ask around and figure out 3 DNS records we need to add. Logging in and looking himself would have taken 2 Monday, February 29, 2016 3:58:15 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Do you have any insight on why ASUS development slowed down recently? Friday, February 26, 2016 5:44:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Since when does fuckin oil dictate how the entire stock market works? And one day it's up 10% the other day it's down 10%. Volatile cunts. Tuesday, February 23, 2016 6:56:54 PMTwitter Web Client
SECURITY GUY. TERMINATED
https://t.co/0exgAApyCI 		Friday, February 19, 2016 5:42:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Normally, I'd be concerned with him spending the weekend lifting data and adding backdoors, but he's too fuckin stupid to do that Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:48 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of dumb bitch works from home on his last day? I need your RSA token and laptop back idiot. And it's the security guy. Real secure Friday, February 19, 2016 10:33:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Spoiler Alert: In last week's X-Files, Mulder does mushrooms, sees some crazy shit and solves the crime. Friday, February 19, 2016 10:19:23 AMTwitter Web Client
EVERYTHING IS BROKEN. NOTHING WORKS. Thursday, February 18, 2016 4:41:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't get why this ignoramus is breaking my balls when his last day is tomorrow. We'd benefit more if he did NOTHING. cc @XtinaSchelin Thursday, February 18, 2016 9:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Ohio You guys upgrading to Maxx in Columbus anytime soon? Ohio Internet is in the dark ages and there's no motivation to compete. Wednesday, February 17, 2016 6:00:09 PMTwitter Web Client
The Federal Reserve is useless. There is 0 point to this idiotic corporation. They don't know anything: https://t.co/sUjIDBzpSo Wednesday, February 17, 2016 3:55:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@XtinaSchelin Your boss just tried tying his personal github account to Whitehat... Not an SSH key. Not an access token/service acct. Tuesday, February 16, 2016 3:16:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Google Chrome Pet Peeve: They removed the 'danger' keyboard shortcut to get around bad SSL cert warnings. CC @XtinaSchelin Thursday, February 11, 2016 11:00:25 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Tracking is off, brah
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
 Wednesday, February 10, 2016 10:00:38 AMTwitter Web Client
You @__JLu: curl -H "Accept: text/plain" https://t.co/quRK1986TZ Monday, February 08, 2016 11:22:36 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of asshole product people does @google have working on their Contacts preview in Gmail... Shit is weak. Half my groups are missing Tuesday, February 02, 2016 5:48:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @AmericanExpress The gift card balance checking site has been down for like 2 months. Get your lives together? https://t.co/L3tI9Xt4er Monday, February 01, 2016 5:26:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Wow. it legit cannot get any easier. All you do is pip install twitter, then this: https://t.co/EPKvfgtSji Monday, February 01, 2016 1:10:57 AMTwitter Web Client
This is exactly the kind of bullshit Pearl Jam didn't stand for in 1994 when they battled Ticketmaster. They lost. https://t.co/NuDBOdNFz5 Friday, January 29, 2016 5:02:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Cunts @Ticketmaster Friday, January 29, 2016 4:26:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Any dev writing software who stores settings in the registry, %appdata% or ProgramData under their first/last name is an asshole. Thursday, January 28, 2016 1:38:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Went to bar. Came back to work. Solved 3 issues instantly. Thursday, January 21, 2016 4:42:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @Microsoft, <3 you guys but @Skype 7.18.0.109 is a crashy, unstable piece of crap on Windows 10. k thx bye Thursday, January 21, 2016 12:27:25 PMTwitter Web Client
My @googlechrome pet peeve: If a JS modal pops up in another tab, it immediately switches you to that tab, interrupting what I'm doing Thursday, January 21, 2016 11:55:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Ticketmaster can go fuck themselves. Clearly Pearl Jam didn't win the war against them in '94. https://t.co/dKS3Og6FDW Wednesday, January 20, 2016 5:07:08 PMTwitter Web Client
It's absolutely absurd how something as archaic as oil can ruin a global economy, even the things that have nothing to do with oil. Wednesday, January 20, 2016 12:26:57 PMTwitter Web Client
This Chrome experiment actually renders much faster in Microsoft Edge: https://t.co/JSXSm3mtpj Sunday, January 17, 2016 6:36:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Cocksucker assholes waking me up at 6am all weekend with fake assed on call alerts Sunday, January 17, 2016 6:17:57 AMTwitter Web Client
I look really good today. Just can't turn it off. Thursday, January 14, 2016 10:21:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I've got 1TB worth of 94 million API logs for 29 days and they can all go fuck themselves Tuesday, January 12, 2016 10:37:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey security shithead: why don't ya take a seat over there... Tuesday, January 12, 2016 10:13:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Since when did Facebook start spam emailing me when random friends I don't care about update their status? https://t.co/nhnT0jIMoI Monday, January 11, 2016 9:38:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Is powershell fuckin serious that it only allows you to echo text in switch statements? DAFUQ is that all about Friday, January 08, 2016 4:06:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Microsoft Edge is pretty tight. Like, > Chrome. Attn Apple Fanboys: I'm about to be a @Windows fanboy. How you like it now? #Windows10 Friday, January 08, 2016 1:44:43 AMTwitter Web Client
My peeegs are wild right now... Friday, January 08, 2016 1:27:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Just takes one time to change the perception of mankind. Friday, January 08, 2016 1:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
I don't think you actually understand my new appreciation for trees. Fantastic Windows 10 lock screen spotlight pic. https://t.co/Tc6k8GV7eR Friday, January 08, 2016 1:26:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Cuncel da stock market! Cuncel da China! Cuncel da oil! Thursday, January 07, 2016 3:47:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Saw this on @RockNationRadio's Facebook and I support it: https://t.co/Ol10DR8ZXM Thursday, January 07, 2016 2:29:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to make an actual effort to stop dropping F bombs all over twitter. I mean I know this is a satire-ish account, but it's overkill Thursday, January 07, 2016 1:35:55 AMTwitter Web Client
This Cali gas leak is a fuckin disaster. Methane gas has a much stronger greenhouse effect than COâ‚‚. Thursday, January 07, 2016 12:08:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Left lookups in excel are a pain in my ballsack right now Wednesday, January 06, 2016 9:14:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Can someone turn down the fucking heat in this office? Wednesday, January 06, 2016 3:39:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Azure. Making you add a verification cname to every goddamn subdomain you add. Y U NO verify you own the domain with a txt record. Tuesday, January 05, 2016 5:54:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I love it when at idiot VP who doesn't understand technology is attempting to be technical in his internal update emails via Comic Sans Monday, January 04, 2016 11:57:01 AMTwitter Web Client
NYC doesn't even have a fucking rock station anymore. Looking forward to this later in 2016: https://t.co/LHop8dHfUj Sunday, December 27, 2015 2:27:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Happy birffday to me! https://t.co/iRfNHf2aK5 Friday, December 25, 2015 1:33:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Facebook app does A/B tests. Found in debugger: com.facebook.messaging.abtest.GeneratedLauncherBadgeDataSourceExperiment@6760e13 occurred Wednesday, December 23, 2015 6:53:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Testing Wednesday, December 23, 2015 3:00:28 PMTwitter Web Client
if you're still using SourceForge, you should quit the internet Wednesday, December 23, 2015 11:35:36 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @sadserver: Just remember

It doesn't matter how, or where, you spend the holidays

You're still on-call. 		Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:27:17 PMTwitter Web Client
Just told my Director of Finance "I fucking hated my accounting classes" and Ali Mac backed me up Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:23:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Holiday Shitshow party is about to begin but I need to bounce to see my boy Billy Joel at the garden. Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:02:20 PMTwitter Web Client
There was a Dorito in my beer and I didn't notice and I didn't even leave work yet. Thursday, December 17, 2015 6:01:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Actual work email. Quote of the year. https://t.co/lCfcjMU1IW Thursday, December 10, 2015 12:37:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Just called out a VP for booking a 2016 planning meeting over a thank you lunch scheduled already. Doesn't the fuckin guy check free times? Thursday, December 10, 2015 10:33:13 AMTwitter Web Client
I really need to stop telling everyone at work that I'm going to punch everyone in the face Thursday, December 03, 2015 1:52:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Cheeseburger for breakfast because fuck you, I can. Tuesday, December 01, 2015 9:23:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Just noticed now my background image on Twitter was missing. Supposedly, they removed background color and images in JULY. Asshats Saturday, November 28, 2015 10:26:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin FiOS always goes down in the middle of the night Saturday, November 28, 2015 2:05:13 AMTwitter Web Client
SURPRISE. Foo Fighter's St. Ceclia EP dropped and is phenomenal! And they gave it away digitally for free. Buying this on vinyl STAT. Monday, November 23, 2015 1:40:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo @Cisco, you really need to get rid of the @java @anyconnect web browser auto detection. It never works and I can just run the installer. Tuesday, November 17, 2015 7:55:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Angels on the sideline
Baffled and confused 		Wednesday, November 11, 2015 6:48:42 PMTwitter Web Client
They gave our pen testers domain admin access and the security idiots are wondering why they hacked everything. #fuckingidiots Tuesday, November 10, 2015 5:38:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit is ABOUT to go down here at work... Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:43:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Fucking Christ, Kisha. How god damn dumb are you? You've been asking the same questions for 1.5 years and don't learn anything Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:00:10 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/8h76hFZKCn Tuesday, November 10, 2015 12:39:53 AMTwitter Web Client
.@googlephotos is slow as fuck playing backed up video. Get your lives together Monday, November 09, 2015 6:49:38 PMTwitter Web Client
The Windows bluetooth stack is a raging piece of shit Monday, November 09, 2015 12:12:29 AMTwitter Web Client
What the hell is twitter thinking with this heart? bring the star back! Wednesday, November 04, 2015 11:27:38 AMTwitter Web Client
I've been mad for fucking years, absolutely years Thursday, October 29, 2015 10:16:41 AMTwitter Web Client
These cunts really think they can say no to me? Oh they made a huge mistake. Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:52:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Enraged at something that happened at work. "Speak softly and carry a big stick..." I will do that. Later, I'll shove it up their fuckin ass Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:35:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I just referred to the Google Play Store as the Android Marketplace... The hell is this, 2010? Wednesday, October 28, 2015 2:31:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Poor 'Tolo Wednesday, October 28, 2015 1:19:12 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG I get to see Everclear tonight! 90s FTW Monday, October 26, 2015 2:48:36 PMTwitter Web Client
These cunts still don't understand that we can replace one javascript file instead of an overnight deployment Monday, October 26, 2015 1:35:51 PMTwitter Web Client
These fucking idiots are doing an entire .NET build to fix a line of javascript. Monday, October 26, 2015 11:04:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh I see how it works... Fucking convoluted. If you tick the setting on web, it's different than mobile. Christ Twitter. Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:52:15 PMTwitter Web Client
I changed my email, then changed it back. Now it's texting me fuckin verification codes instead of using the app #failwhale Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:50:42 PMTwitter Web Client
All my fuckin verification requests go to my old phone, and when I tried to fix it, they're saying my email is unconfirmed. THE FUCK Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter is a fuckin piece of shit with the way they handle switching devices and two step login verification. Saturday, October 24, 2015 9:36:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Just imported time in Python. Why can't I import time and manipulate it in real life? Friday, October 23, 2015 5:04:48 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev Oh, I was confused by the changelog "defaults to 5 (notice) instead of 0 (emergency)" I thought it got more verbose
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
 Friday, October 23, 2015 4:32:26 PMTwitter Web Client
@RMerlinDev In 378.56 B1, does the increased logging level use more resources? What number should I set for Warnings and higher? Friday, October 23, 2015 3:26:35 PMTwitter Web Client
What kind of asshole schedules a 2PM weekly meeting on Fridays. This interferes with my bar run Friday, October 23, 2015 1:15:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Just walked in. Will all you motherfuckers stop talking to me? Christ, I'm not that important. Friday, October 23, 2015 12:31:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Going to try to move a server from our office to our Colo datacenter via Uber... Lets see how that works out... Thursday, October 22, 2015 4:12:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Sourceforge is such a 90s piece of shit with ads and spyware. Need to report a bug to a dev and it's impossible. What idiots still use SF? Thursday, October 22, 2015 10:42:36 AMTwitter Web Client
I feel like this log file is yelling at me. It sternly told me what to not do next time... https://t.co/TYZBBvhRQs Thursday, October 22, 2015 9:59:35 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of real sick (awesome) fuck decided on Youtube Music Red for a product name? Sounds familiar to some other website... Wednesday, October 21, 2015 5:27:19 PMTwitter Web Client
NO, QA manager. I won't re-test the shit you send to our outsourced consultants who are idiots. Hire smarter people. Tuesday, October 20, 2015 1:11:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This fucking security guy needs to stop walking over to look at our network diagram. He should print out his own and go away. Tuesday, October 20, 2015 10:47:31 AMTwitter Web Client
@Fantasy_Mania Commish when his team wins? #maroon5 https://t.co/dsb6JEnD57 Monday, October 12, 2015 1:50:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Anyone else notice that PCs (Windows 8/10) suck balls with Bluetooth devices? Like they rarely connect and always fuck up. Someone fix it. Monday, October 12, 2015 9:59:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin iOS 9.1 and their Unicode 8 and skin tone emojis not displaying on Android. Friday, October 02, 2015 1:44:41 AMTwitter Web Client
This is pissing me off. When you do 'git rev-parse HEAD' in windows, it outputs a line break but not in linux. DAFUQ Thursday, October 01, 2015 4:30:38 PMTwitter Web Client
The quality hires continue #onewayvpntunnel Monday, September 28, 2015 6:06:58 PMTwitter Web Client
New security guy wants us to set up a one way VPN tunnel. #thereisNOhope Monday, September 28, 2015 6:06:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Unreal how the Win 8 dictionary/Skype, both MSFT products auto-correct NuGet to nugget Monday, September 28, 2015 5:09:48 PMTwitter Web Client
NASA's about to announce.... http://t.co/YQblD27OTF Monday, September 28, 2015 11:28:38 AMTwitter Web Client
This guy hasn't shut up since I walked in. Monday, September 28, 2015 11:03:33 AMTwitter Web Client
This is why you buy Motorola or LG Android Phones. Fuck Samsung http://t.co/xonYtlO0Xi #android #feedly Friday, September 25, 2015 3:34:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Bloombito chillin' with the Pope. Guy isn't even mayor anymore and he's still more relevant than idiot @BilldeBlasio http://t.co/EOVmsaVUjk Friday, September 25, 2015 12:30:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ Cisco. I know you've been trying to fuck the married marketing girl for like 4 months already but be more discrete about it. Thursday, September 24, 2015 6:06:47 PMTwitter Web Client
Toppi's Minions shirt is straight up gold Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:48:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Black Keys - Rubber Factory is a great album to fuck to.#jussayin Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:47:36 PMTwitter Web Client
My tweets are like 10,000x better when I'm drunk... Past week. Lame. Today? Gold. Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:41:51 PMTwitter Web Client
🎶 What about the night,
Makes you change, yeah,
Oh, from sweet,
To deranged? 🎶 		Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:38:00 PMTwitter Web Client
eh who the fuck am I kidding. Was always more of an ass man. Just ask Simmons.They called me Spanky in college.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:32:59 PMTwitter Web Client
More of a Katy Perry fan myself. Better boobs.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:32:17 PMTwitter Web Client
My GF is hammered right now. I can tell by peering across this office........... Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:30:50 PMTwitter Web Client
https://t.co/ypQ9bcRern Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:30:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Yeah, in case you were wondering, that is a nip of Patron on my desk.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:23:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Out new security guy is intimidating the fuck out of me. We're all hammered and he's a hardcore dude not drinking, probably judging us. Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:22:43 PMTwitter Web Client
This pope is a cool dude. I'm perfectly ok with him ruining my commute and NYC experience tomorrow Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:21:24 PMTwitter Web Client
#aintnobodydoingwork Got back from the bar and my office did an open bar #dranksondranksondranks Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:08:52 PMTwitter Web Client
DAFUQ. 5 mins after I come back from the bar at lunch, my office sets up a full bar in celebration of things I can't disclose #NDA Thursday, September 24, 2015 4:37:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Protip: Drink a bucket of beer at lunch, then have a shot. Thursday, September 24, 2015 4:23:37 PMTwitter Web Client
@BadPointer Quoted your boss in an email
In reply to @BadPointer's tweet
 Thursday, September 24, 2015 1:52:25 PMTwitter Web Client
This isn't a temporary solution. It'll prevent exceptions from occurring. The long term solution is to rewrite the UI (which is not a joke) Thursday, September 24, 2015 1:49:17 PMTwitter Web Client
THE MOST GOOSEBUMPS https://t.co/uoULJCyPmP Thursday, September 24, 2015 10:04:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Google Play music/movies is all jacked up right now. Thursday, September 24, 2015 9:15:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Am I going to hell that I'm more excited for Pearl Jam on Sunday than the Pope? #PopeinNYC Thursday, September 24, 2015 9:08:33 AMTwitter Web Client
Thank Christ summer is over. Bring on the cold Wednesday, September 23, 2015 9:07:48 AMTwitter Web Client
GOD MISERABLE DAMNIT. Just 1 hour after I went on call, just went to bed and I get a motherfucking alert. Wednesday, September 23, 2015 1:44:19 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 Please always keep tweeting ridic things your students say.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
 Tuesday, September 22, 2015 3:11:22 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to start a Jock Jams party in the office, you guys Friday, September 18, 2015 5:25:07 PMTwitter Web Client
I've gotta take a huge shit and have an hour meeting with useless VP #2 Friday, September 18, 2015 11:25:08 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG. I am THIS close to telling our VP of product who asked me a stupid fuckin question to read our help site. Friday, September 18, 2015 10:57:24 AMTwitter Web Client
A bunch of bumbling ijits on this call Wednesday, September 16, 2015 12:06:56 PMTwitter Web Client
@BarstoolJJ DEEZ NUTZZZ
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
 Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:39:12 PMTwitter Web Client
another test Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:38:32 PMTwitter Web Client
UM PUT ON VH1 CLASSIC IMMIJITLY. IT'S LIKE 90s ROCK VIDEOS (PS VH1 Classic? Really? I'm so old) Wednesday, September 09, 2015 1:37:49 PMTwitter Web Client
OMG. Everything was configured just fine, but it's because they merged fuckin code in from 3 versions ago and the app broke. #shitsgottastop Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:27:58 AMTwitter Web Client
These cocksucking consultants in India just paged my oncall because a fucking dev environment was down. #die Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:11:33 AMTwitter Web Client
The internet on the west coast is all jacked right now Wednesday, September 02, 2015 1:40:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ, the @MTA sucks 12 dicks. Reliable service, cunts http://t.co/YTEeweBFjd Wednesday, September 02, 2015 12:37:51 PMTwitter Web Client
What the fuck @GooglePlay Music? Your playlists don't advance anymore? It's like Repeat-1 is stuck. Playing the same shit looping Tuesday, September 01, 2015 5:41:23 PMTwitter Web Client
@Windows 10 + @Skype are being cocksuckers right now. When someone sends you a skype image, it asks you which program to use EVERY TIME. Monday, August 31, 2015 5:50:01 PMTwitter Web Client
This place is a motherless shithole Friday, August 28, 2015 11:57:51 AMTwitter Web Client
John needs to shut his whore mouth. Stupid bastard. Friday, August 28, 2015 10:54:44 AMTwitter Web Client
I can't even take a shit here without someone looking for me Friday, August 28, 2015 10:37:31 AMTwitter Web Client
These fuckers and their shitty code introduced a stack overflow that kills our web server and now it's my problem? Friday, August 28, 2015 9:47:07 AMTwitter Web Client
This guy really needs to shut the fuck up Wednesday, August 26, 2015 12:37:03 PMTwitter Web Client
BB King's in NYC is like the best place ever. EVERCLEAR will be there in October. askdhfgbaskldfjbhaldskfjal sd OMG #takemebacktothe90s Tuesday, August 25, 2015 1:35:09 PMTwitter Web Client
China is the fucking ruination of everything. Polluting the earth, the economy. Jesus Christ, China Monday, August 24, 2015 12:28:50 PMTwitter Web Client
"I'm saying this with a girl present so it's not sexist" - Edgar Friday, August 21, 2015 4:46:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Samsung. I despise their Android phones. http://t.co/1R5I0mwMnK Friday, August 21, 2015 4:26:26 PMTwitter Web Client
I am also officially predicting a repeat of the 2008 recession. Mark my words. The fucking federal reserve ruins everything. Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:59:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Shits gotta stop. I fucking hate hot weather
http://t.co/3i5fO92MuG 		Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:53:52 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the MOST useless call in this history of all meetings ever Monday, August 17, 2015 11:01:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Then they wonder why half the fucking tech team quit. Monday, August 17, 2015 10:55:00 AMTwitter Web Client
cunts Monday, August 17, 2015 10:54:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Nobody wants to hear this fucking bumbling idiot taking about idiotic things while smart people are actually doing a hands on maintenance Monday, August 17, 2015 10:54:15 AMTwitter Web Client
We must #FundEducation to #LetGirlsLearn & lead—@erna_solberg come to #GlobalCitizen Festival & support education http://t.co/w7HQv2haRt Friday, August 14, 2015 7:52:08 PMTwitter Web Client
I really don't like Samsung Galaxy phones. No one cares about your stupid press announcement. Go away. Friday, August 14, 2015 7:46:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Africa just marked 1 year w/o a case of #polio. @TonyAbbottMHR @David_Cameron now commit to ending polio for good at this year's #CHOGM Friday, August 14, 2015 7:13:09 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew http://t.co/3PXnN8vjBg
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
 Friday, August 14, 2015 6:43:58 PMTwitter Web Client
ATTENTION EVERYONE: HOP OFF MY DICK

Seriously. Why do you need me to get anything done. Shut up and figure it out like I can. 		Wednesday, August 12, 2015 4:17:20 PMTwitter Web Client
You can't lose to a fuckin last place team in 16 innings. Just can't. This is a playoff race. Christ. Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:56:20 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew I warned ya.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
 Tuesday, August 11, 2015 1:19:49 PMTwitter Web Client
http://t.co/RAs3tsJExS @Fantasy_Mania @Onethirdof3x5 Tuesday, August 11, 2015 12:04:52 PMTwitter Web Client
Whoops. I meant to say 2) Looks that color... I said the same thing twice.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Monday, August 10, 2015 11:01:29 AMTwitter Web Client
What kind of dumb bitch would drink water that 1) has a known toxic spill and 2) Has known toxic waste in it. http://t.co/mnnU0wJs7f Monday, August 10, 2015 10:00:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Anyone who actually purchased Whole Foods' "asparagus water" should be executed for stupidity. Can't have the stupid genes in the pool. Monday, August 10, 2015 9:41:42 AMTwitter Web Client
EPA: "Welp, we were trying to clean up shit but instead we accidentally dumped 3 mil gallons into the river."

Assholes should go to prison 		Monday, August 10, 2015 9:39:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm in an aggressive, no bullshit mood this morning. I'm already ready to start punching our idiot L1 support reps in the face. Monday, August 10, 2015 9:36:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Gunjan: "They made this Indian food the white person way" Friday, August 07, 2015 12:37:33 PMTwitter Web Client
zzZZZzzZZzZZZ. Don't want to hear all this boring babble. I want some Trump flame wars. Thursday, August 06, 2015 9:33:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Jeb looked like a toolbag staring Trump down Thursday, August 06, 2015 9:25:37 PMTwitter Web Client
LOL Donald Trump Thursday, August 06, 2015 9:12:02 PMTwitter Web Client
@Docent_Steve Hahah, it was awesome and noms though
In reply to @Docent_Steve's tweet
 Thursday, August 06, 2015 9:02:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck does Windows 10 keep automatically installing the "Get Office" app. I uninstalled it twice and I already have office. GTFO Tuesday, August 04, 2015 10:13:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Why is this guy here every 5 mins with password problems?
If you can't figure out how to log into basic shit, you shouldn't work here.
Fired 		Tuesday, August 04, 2015 3:56:54 PMTwitter Web Client
If I could be anywhere right now, it'd be here: https://t.co/KN7wjfur6W Monday, August 03, 2015 5:23:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I feel like an asshole to my followers for all this because I despise spammers. Sorry. They are good causes though. Monday, August 03, 2015 11:17:32 AMTwitter Web Client
.@MFAIceland & @SCpresidenciauy thanks for standing up for women around the world—Now come to #GlobalCitizen Festival & make a commitment! Monday, August 03, 2015 11:17:03 AMTwitter Web Client
To end open defecation we need to talk about it. @JimKim_WBG & @sesamestreet have an important message, WATCH: http://t.co/3sg73yiDJ7 Monday, August 03, 2015 11:14:33 AMTwitter Web Client
We are 1% away from ending polio for good—@dfat @CanadaFP will you make #polio a priority at this year’s #CHOGM? #whatnext Monday, August 03, 2015 11:13:17 AMTwitter Web Client
You'll need to excuse my upcoming Twitter feed spam. Trying to get those Pearl Jam tickets. Also, we should probably eradicate polio too Monday, August 03, 2015 11:13:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it me, or is Gmail all jacked up right now? Seems like Google had issues every time I tried to use it. Hmph Monday, August 03, 2015 1:04:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it me, or is Google and Google Maps down/really slow right now? Had to use Bing and it worked like a charm Sunday, August 02, 2015 12:38:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Needless to say, we probably should get a more powerful message queuing server. http://t.co/BkTnmjPtro Saturday, August 01, 2015 10:01:04 PMTwitter Web Client
Shut the fuck up. Trying to fix a broken build Thursday, July 30, 2015 5:39:10 PMTwitter Web Client
git config --global alias.poop push
git poop 		Thursday, July 30, 2015 4:18:45 PMTwitter Web Client
I also don't give a fuck what this guy's blabbering about. Thursday, July 30, 2015 2:54:46 PMTwitter Web Client
NYC's a god damn jungle right now. It's legit 100% humidity and downpouring on and off every 5 mins all day Thursday, July 30, 2015 2:49:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus fucking Christ, Alexey. Relax Wednesday, July 29, 2015 10:52:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Moto X Pure has an LCD screen. How are you going to save battery on Active Display? Now we need to turn the whole backlight on :/ #AskMoto Tuesday, July 28, 2015 1:34:20 PMTwitter Web Client
OMG MOTOROLA EVENT #needanewmotox Tuesday, July 28, 2015 9:02:01 AMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Help Nevermind. It's fine now
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
 Tuesday, July 28, 2015 2:39:49 AMTwitter Web Client
@TWC_Help Figure out why my speed is bullshit right now and please fix it. I have work to do in the morning http://t.co/duAZzxgZnP Tuesday, July 28, 2015 2:28:53 AMTwitter Web Client
VMWareTools is a huge pain in the fuckin ass Monday, July 27, 2015 5:10:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Better not disappoint. https://t.co/2A4QIMSkFE Monday, July 27, 2015 1:35:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Cut me off again and I'm moving to Andrew's team, cunt Monday, July 27, 2015 11:03:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Can't even filter by "submitted by" for user stories in our agile tracking software. Piece of crap Friday, July 24, 2015 1:42:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Shouldn't have had Mexican for lunch AND dinner yesterday. I'm at an all day offsite meeting. Use your imagination Thursday, July 23, 2015 5:03:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Get a load of Cuba making medical breakthroughs: http://t.co/Lbavm3De7B

Merica. No longer on top, 		Tuesday, July 21, 2015 1:24:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Why are you using Adobe Flash to stream video instead of HTML5? It's not rocket science #askNASA Wednesday, July 15, 2015 3:18:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Hydra looks like a buncha pixels Wednesday, July 15, 2015 3:08:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Amazon Prime fire sale is BOSS. Too bad I don't need anything Wednesday, July 15, 2015 11:44:57 AMTwitter Web Client

Geek stats: Page generated in 106.2 ms