5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: Beautiful code is never work in production. Friday, July 06, 2012 1:03:23 AMTwitter Web Client
Director of Product Development just deaded me on GChat because I pretty much told her her idea was weak. She was like nope and signed off Friday, July 06, 2012 1:02:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Just ripped ass. iI think it smelled like Jameson Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:21:15 PMTwitter Web Client
I think I'm getting a double chin. #sofat Thursday, July 05, 2012 11:34:05 AMTwitter Web Client
TIRED Thursday, July 05, 2012 7:16:01 AMTwitter Web Client
why won't this ubuntu upstart fuckin bullshit work? I should go home. ENJOYYY Tuesday, July 03, 2012 5:22:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Maybe I'm just a linux dumbass, but I can't stand vim. I'm a nano guy. The real Linux dudes look at me like I'm out of my mind. Tuesday, July 03, 2012 1:00:19 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to break this fucking bottle over someones head realllly soon Monday, July 02, 2012 3:24:58 PMTwitter Web Client
Now you can count how many times I say fuck, shit and other words on twitter: http://t.co/CYg7v2v Thanks Quirk for helping with the SQL Sunday, July 01, 2012 5:13:23 PMTwitter Web Client
I just lost it... http://t.co/1Cri2V9 Sunday, July 01, 2012 3:01:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick.. I don't give a fuck. Ask the product team. Thursday, June 28, 2012 2:55:23 PMTwitter Web Client
How you know you're fuckin shot: I just called my Dunkin Donuts coffee "Windows Coffee" Thursday, June 28, 2012 11:03:44 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm at 7,092 tweets. Who wants to take guesses on when I hit 10,000? Thursday, June 28, 2012 10:11:37 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh, if you missed the memo in my previous tweet, from now on, I will refer to rackspace as boobspace Thursday, June 28, 2012 2:01:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey: "So what did you drink tonight, beer?" Me: "Why are you assuming I was out drinking" Alexey: "But it's true, right?" Thursday, June 28, 2012 1:58:58 AMTwitter Web Client
YES! Alexey one liners make my night "So Joe... Where do you go? Women?" Thursday, June 28, 2012 12:51:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Bring me Android Jellybean #GoogleIO Wednesday, June 27, 2012 12:54:26 PMTwitter Web Client
Vinny's Elementary School and State Penitentiary Wednesday, June 27, 2012 11:53:25 AMTwitter Web Client
Steve Jobs didnt get where he was by listening to ppl. He did it his way. Then they fired him. And he came back and ran the shit like a boss Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:19:50 AMTwitter Web Client
All the engineers and COO are pissed at me for making too many decisions on my own without approval. Fuck that. I know best Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:18:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I found someone hotter than Kate Upton on the 4 train this morning Wednesday, June 27, 2012 9:06:48 AMTwitter Web Client
BULL. SHIT. this crime heatmap says Bridgeport is in the green and Stratford is not. I don't buy that http://t.co/2XCKuvt Wednesday, June 27, 2012 12:53:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Have I ever mentioned I have a man crush on Dave Grohl? Tuesday, June 26, 2012 11:35:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure Kate Upton has no other purpose besides shaking her tits around in YouTube videos Tuesday, June 26, 2012 5:53:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Can someone explain to me why I have 35 dollar bills in my wallet and how it was possible to get that much change from a BASEBALL game? Tuesday, June 26, 2012 11:27:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I love these "consultants" who do these WordPress websites who have no fucking idea what they're doing. That was the biggest hack ever Tuesday, June 26, 2012 3:34:26 AMTwitter Web Client
"Joe you total bastard" -Christina Monday, June 25, 2012 5:43:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito @ShavingFoams Yeah but if you aren't lazy, you can manyally copy it and do RT @... People do that to me all the time bc I'm legit
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, June 25, 2012 12:15:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I'm allergic to fuckin' everything" Christina: "Easy solution... Don't fuck everything." Monday, June 25, 2012 11:54:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I have a headache, my eye is permanently twitching and none of this fucking build shit is working and we have to deploy at 6am Monday, June 25, 2012 2:37:43 AMTwitter Web Client
"She's a real fuckin good time, I'll tell ya that" Monday, June 25, 2012 12:57:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I wasn't going to drink, but then I had a beer Friday, June 22, 2012 5:45:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Krisin... You can go ahead and reschedule that meeting to next Friday because, you know, I'm off that day. Thanks boo Friday, June 22, 2012 12:48:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Sam was like... I'm warning you.... We pay for you, you're on call nonstop. Ah sheeeeeit . But I like hanging with my Alexey bear! Friday, June 22, 2012 12:42:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Welp, day one they made me expense my phone data plan and I am now on a call with Alexey regarding failing SQL jobs. FML Friday, June 22, 2012 12:39:35 AMTwitter Web Client
This fucking security audit needs to motherlessly end Wednesday, June 20, 2012 6:04:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Christina's new phone grammar rule: i before phone except after droid. Wednesday, June 20, 2012 11:34:36 AMTwitter Web Client
It's hot today and so is Molly Wednesday, June 20, 2012 9:53:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Also, fuck the fact that it's going to be like 97 degrees tomorrow. That's some bullshit #isitfallyet? Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:15:15 AMTwitter Web Client
If I dream nasty things about TK tonight, I'm going to wake up @MalJNew to help with the scarring. Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:13:03 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Christ. This new sales girl. Tuesday, June 19, 2012 9:05:28 AMTwitter Web Client
My wallet smells like weed Monday, June 18, 2012 11:47:01 PMTwitter Web Client
New Blog Post: Clean Your Filthy Children http://t.co/X5EvfYX Monday, June 18, 2012 9:15:21 PMTwitter Web Client
@nyJULZmd my eye is twitching too! It's so annoying
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Monday, June 18, 2012 4:55:41 PMTwitter Web Client
No Alexey, when the app crashes the server every 20 minutes, the solution is NOT to auto reset IIS every 15 mins. Fix the fucking shit code. Monday, June 18, 2012 12:12:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Why the fuck do we pay a motherless office manager if we run the fuck out of milk for this dank assed coffee. Monday, June 18, 2012 10:17:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Now Jay is starting in with his fucking shit. Monday, June 18, 2012 9:58:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Bad mood. For no reason Monday, June 18, 2012 9:54:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Whenever I get back from vacation, I'm always in the foulest of moods. Usually because everyone fucked shit up while I was gone. Same bull Monday, June 18, 2012 9:15:23 AMTwitter Web Client
@bwilliams: I am going to potato sack your daughter if I ever meet her. http://t.co/xwAbQOO Monday, June 18, 2012 3:18:00 AMTwitter Web Client
It's 10:30AM and I can really go for a gin & tonic right now. I'm going to make it. Fuck it, I'm on vacation. Thursday, June 14, 2012 10:35:54 AMTwitter Web Client
I should be packing... Thursday, June 14, 2012 1:43:51 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: If you can not able do it from command line, is not worth do it. Wednesday, June 13, 2012 11:27:43 PMTwitter Web Client
yeah next month's credit card bill isn't lookin too hot, you guys. Wednesday, June 13, 2012 5:04:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin fuck my life right now Tuesday, June 12, 2012 11:58:24 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Me mentioning VP isn't very common. Including this tweet, i said it 37 instances in 36 different tweets out of 5755 archived tweets
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, June 12, 2012 12:28:17 PMTwitter Web Client
I love irrational VPs who yell at me for things that aren't my fault and all the other execs are on my side. Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:16:21 AMTwitter Web Client
so is it socially acceptable for gusy to watch that show Girls on HBO? Not sure if it's like a chick thing or not... Monday, June 11, 2012 4:09:49 PMTwitter Web Client
Fresh crop of new sales girls. nom Monday, June 11, 2012 2:39:58 PMTwitter Web Client
"Tell your mom I'm sorry for flashing her my cat" Me: "Nah it's fine. She didnt even notice maybe" Monday, June 11, 2012 12:36:06 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm fat. I absolutely don't need an egg and cheese on a roll right now, but if it's free leftover from management meetings, then sure! Monday, June 11, 2012 11:01:09 AMTwitter Web Client
HBO Go is probably the best thing ever invented Sunday, June 10, 2012 6:57:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Jesus Fucking Christ! Wagner's ping pong outfit. Might have to leave. Guaranteed to get fired. Friday, June 08, 2012 5:59:02 PMTwitter Web Client
If this mother fucking cuntface VP of CE doesn't drop this non-issue and leave me alone about it, I might actually murder her. Friday, June 08, 2012 2:13:12 PMTwitter Web Client
18.76% of my tweets contain the word fuck in them. Friday, June 08, 2012 9:59:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Love doing SQL queries against my tweets. Out of 5733 I have archived, I said fuck 1243 times in 1076 tweets (including this one) Friday, June 08, 2012 9:52:10 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Wait... you disagree with most of my tweets? Haaaaa
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Friday, June 08, 2012 9:47:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Trains running like ass this morning. Too crowded. Too many people. I suggest genocide... Of people who walk too slowly. Friday, June 08, 2012 9:30:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Ain't nothing wrong with a little sass for the COO. Especially when you've got em by the balls. Although I do want his swagger. So hot. Friday, June 08, 2012 12:19:34 AMTwitter Web Client
The COO just sent me a task to complete. I finished it last January. Sent it back w/ comment: "Come on, man. I did this like,,, last winter" Friday, June 08, 2012 12:18:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Figured out the secret to tricking people out of thinking you're drunk. Onions. They mask alcohol like a motherfucker. But you smell anyway Friday, June 08, 2012 12:13:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Christine Cloud sounds HOT on the phone. I must meet her at this Cloud convention Thursday, June 07, 2012 12:09:19 PMTwitter Web Client
Just took a gourmet piss. Smelled like butternut squash soup. #fancy #TMI? Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:11:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Swear to God, they don't pay me enough for this shit, especially being on call overnight. Requesting a raise. By 35 grand. Thursday, June 07, 2012 12:49:36 AMTwitter Web Client
@Novellabella Flash is garbage and it will NEVER be supported on the iPhone. People should stop using Flash
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Wednesday, June 06, 2012 8:31:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Beefer D'reet B'reets Wednesday, June 06, 2012 2:06:58 PMTwitter Web Client
CC has a blackberry? This is bullshit: https://t.co/xwRppNq Tuesday, June 05, 2012 11:37:17 AMTwitter Web Client
ALEXEY!!! "So when are you getting laid, Joe? Is like, your family going to find someone?" BAHAHAHAH. Guy's a riot. Tuesday, June 05, 2012 1:12:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Me: "So Alexey, when you say 'mirror server,' what does it actually do?" Alexey: "It just mirrors shit man... It mirrors shit." Tuesday, June 05, 2012 12:42:21 AMTwitter Web Client
I cannot take this seriously. So you mean to tell me that a woman by the name of Christine Cloud works on Rackspace's Cloud Advisory Team? Monday, June 04, 2012 5:21:31 PMTwitter Web Client
"Windows 98 first edition was a festering sphincter of suck" - Christina Monday, June 04, 2012 10:43:15 AMTwitter Web Client
This: http://t.co/UuGcMkU Sunday, June 03, 2012 3:43:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Shameer sez: JOE THE BRO IN THE KNOW WITH ALL THE HOES HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DUDE!!!! Friday, June 01, 2012 5:28:19 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: 1 million monkey hit random key for 1 million year can able generate Hamlet but not internal Wiki documentation. Friday, June 01, 2012 1:46:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Really lookin forward to getting thrown out of the bar tonight, you guys. Friday, June 01, 2012 1:45:18 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @Colithika: life sucks when you get older Thursday, May 31, 2012 5:24:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh I'm going to shake a bitch. So the 100% CPU issue happened because our location IDs went over 10000 and we only handle 9999. Inf Loops! Thursday, May 31, 2012 5:05:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Should change my title to "Dedicated IIS Restarting Bitch" because our programmers write shitty code that crashes IIS nonstop. FML Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:29:51 PMTwitter Web Client
New Blog post: If you die preaching because you get bitten by a poisonous snake and think god will save you, then... http://t.co/FFgaStq Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:17:19 PMTwitter Web Client
New Blog Post: If you die preaching because you get bitten by a poisonous snake and think god will save you, then... http://t.co/iHtpQpK Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:15:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Crushin some G&Ts. Gotta use the Bombay Saph, you guys or else it'll suck Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:46:17 PMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika Pick me! Pick me!
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 2:00:19 AMTwitter Web Client
specifically, fuck strtotime() Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:55:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is working with date/time in php a mother fucking pain in the ass? Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
And the project manager suggested that she locks herself in a room with me to get more work done. So legit Tuesday, May 29, 2012 6:04:11 PMTwitter Web Client
I love this office. The COO required us all to kick the keg on the grounds that he wanted to change it so it's full again. Tuesday, May 29, 2012 6:03:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure our building fire alarm system runs on Windows 3.1 The fire alarm is the exact Windows 3.1 ding sound: http://t.co/T0mv8qK Tuesday, May 29, 2012 11:02:21 AMTwitter Web Client
"What happened to my smoketest?!?!" Cisco: "You smoked it" Tuesday, May 29, 2012 9:38:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Couldn't keep my eyes off this hottie on the train.... AKA my reflection in the window. True story, you guys. I stared at how awesome I look Tuesday, May 29, 2012 9:18:08 AMTwitter Web Client
and ya done Tuesday, May 29, 2012 2:43:53 AMTwitter Web Client