5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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We hope I don't brick this.... Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:37:48 AMTwitter Web Client
Welp, looks like I'll just have to flash a custom recovery image because this one is f'in blasted Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:33:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Verizon for not updating my shit to 4.0.4. I'm rooting this bitch and doing it manually. It's been too long Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:17:33 AMTwitter Web Client
Eye;s all messed up. fml Tuesday, May 29, 2012 12:38:07 AMTwitter Web Client
trololololo: http://t.co/iyVV4SE Friday, May 25, 2012 5:41:55 PMTwitter Web Client
Scroll up with your mouse there, kitten. Friday, May 25, 2012 4:53:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Word gets around at the Booker... I walked in and my boss was like "so tell me how you got cut off" Guy wasn't even there. HHH Friday, May 25, 2012 9:34:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Also, I learned tonight that no motherfucker is real. Everyone is full of shit. So why even bother Friday, May 25, 2012 1:19:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Also, why isn't @MalJNew answering her fuckin phone? stop banging motherfuckers and talk t to me Friday, May 25, 2012 12:57:58 AMTwitter Web Client
None of you mother fuckers cut me off. Cocksuckers. This is a lesson Friday, May 25, 2012 12:57:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj paid for all that shit fuckers. So I crumbled up dollar bills , threw them in her fuckin face and walked out. Fuckin cunt Friday, May 25, 2012 12:56:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin whatever... bartender thought I was crazy. She should see me last and or next week. Pieces of shit Friday, May 25, 2012 12:55:58 AMTwitter Web Client
This is all a bunch of bullshit. I wasn't even doing anything wrong. Just standing in the corner talking to my coworkers. Friday, May 25, 2012 12:53:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Yep... got thrown outta the bar tonight mother fuckers. Friday, May 25, 2012 12:52:26 AMTwitter Web Client
jay shut the fuck up, I have code to roll. Stop chit chattin Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:42:05 PMTwitter Web Client
This: http://t.co/QzTXRl7 Thursday, May 24, 2012 4:29:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I'd do very questionable things in exchange for getting rid of this eye twitch. Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:29:23 AMTwitter Web Client
PS, Winnie the Pooh is a mo'fuggin boss: http://t.co/FnwRSoA Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:13:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Shameless plug: http://t.co/jFkMFU2. No tax when shipped to NY and usually free shipping. And I get my shit in like a day. Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:08:30 PMTwitter Web Client
This is bullshit. I placed my order like three days ago and it didn't ship yet. Probably b/c it would get here too quickly if they sent it. Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:07:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Amazon sucks. Unless you have prime or pay for real shipping, I'm convinced they delay your order on purpose if you select free shipping. Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:06:41 PMTwitter Web Client
So like... Whats the equivalent to brunch for lunch/dinner.... Linner? Dunch? Wednesday, May 23, 2012 4:50:54 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh Vinny get it. You all live close, don't you... How convenient. hhhhhhhhhhh
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 4:14:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I swear to God, Alexey, if I get just one more OPSMGR alert that your SQL jobs are failing, I'm gonna lose it. Wednesday, May 23, 2012 12:25:15 PMTwitter Web Client
new sales... absolutely dripping sex today Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:33:29 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew @TaraCasanova @kelgoe @LennonImagine This release is a bunch of fuckin bullshit
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, May 22, 2012 12:39:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Niraj: "Don't give let him bring a magnifying glass! He should bring a guitar! He'll get laid" NIRAJ! The kid's 6 Tuesday, May 22, 2012 1:37:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey: "Joe. Did you ever have show and tell in school? What should my son bring? I don't want him to bring some stupid shit." Tuesday, May 22, 2012 1:34:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Chip off the old mover! Monday, May 21, 2012 9:26:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Drives me FUCKING crazy when I can hear people's earbuds from far away. Namely, my coworker in the next cube and people on the subway. STFU Monday, May 21, 2012 1:47:33 PMTwitter Web Client
@pipeandcane Baller Monday, May 21, 2012 12:26:51 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @maljnew Feel like I could throw up a thousand beers you guys. Saturday, May 19, 2012 11:18:57 AMTwitter Web Client
So Accounts Payable is a person now? http://t.co/Xh2094b Friday, May 18, 2012 5:55:39 PMTwitter Web Client
ok who's doin lines of coke off the new countertop? TK was the last one in the kitchen Friday, May 18, 2012 4:58:46 PMTwitter Web Client
Just wanted to point out that the chick in the FB timeline photon in Joe's Deluxe Spa is bangin: https://t.co/LxPWkpL Friday, May 18, 2012 4:53:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"you know what joe.. i just remembed last night this girl asked you to kiss her on the lips and you was like No" HA Friday, May 18, 2012 12:43:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Coffee bag exploded all over me. Obviously, when people were looking. WOOF Friday, May 18, 2012 10:56:21 AMTwitter Web Client
I'd like to know how it is that some people have so much of their shit together and some people are fucking disasters. What differentiates? Friday, May 18, 2012 2:57:54 AMTwitter Web Client
@Barnes_S_nobles @kerbear88 Never awkward for me. My boss just laughs.
In reply to @Barnes_S_nobles's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2012 10:52:11 AMTwitter Web Client
@Novellabella It's because a 4G iPhone is coming out next and Verizon does not want those people to get unlimited data
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2012 9:41:54 AMTwitter Web Client
I almost walked straight into my boss because I was too busy looking the other way staring at the sales girl. #creeper #awkward Thursday, May 17, 2012 9:39:15 AMTwitter Web Client
The Yankees really suck this season, you guys. At least I can watch the Rangers Wednesday, May 16, 2012 8:32:44 PMTwitter Web Client
If ya didn't know you're bein' scammed, you're too fuckin' dumb to keep this job. If ya did know, you were in on it. Either way, you're out! Wednesday, May 16, 2012 5:39:38 PMTwitter Web Client
What? The land of the free? Whoever told you that is your enemy. Wednesday, May 16, 2012 1:05:00 PMTwitter Web Client
ABSOLUTE SMOKESTACK. bang bang Wednesday, May 16, 2012 11:22:09 AMTwitter Web Client
sluttface Tuesday, May 15, 2012 12:03:27 PMTwitter Web Client
My video card "broke" Got a brand new one. This is what you get for downgrading me, sir. Tuesday, May 15, 2012 10:12:09 AMTwitter Web Client
@Frankalankster No reason why @VtotheFlo should be blocked b/c she only tweets about Fairfield Girl Problems. My tweets would get me fired
In reply to @Frankalankster's tweet
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 9:25:44 AMTwitter Web Client
It's scary that there are no #kellyomealiatweets during this game.. You there? Monday, May 14, 2012 9:28:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Wags is hit or miss. SPOT on today. Like super bangable Monday, May 14, 2012 4:56:21 PMTwitter Web Client
IFassholes waste your entire morning, just kick back, stare at the hot new office manager and eat Grandma's chicken cutlet sangwich. WINNING Monday, May 14, 2012 12:34:11 PMTwitter Web Client
This dumb motherfucker... Monday, May 14, 2012 12:24:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Is that the new office manager? Who is this> I need deets. Monday, May 14, 2012 9:33:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Dan WOULD hire her. The minute she interviewed with him I was like... Her hotness got her the job. Monday, May 14, 2012 9:23:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Welp, looks like we hired that absolute bombshell who caught me looking twice during her interview when I was getting a cup of coffee. hhhhh Monday, May 14, 2012 9:22:07 AMTwitter Web Client
@kellyomealia #kellyomealiatweets #NYR Saturday, May 12, 2012 9:57:21 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure my parents think I'm on drugs and am crazy. Saturday, May 12, 2012 12:42:40 AMTwitter Web Client
So. Tired. Must. Sleep Friday, May 11, 2012 12:52:18 PMTwitter Web Client
When I am not crushing some code, I grab a couple of brews and smash some bugs. Thursday, May 10, 2012 12:49:33 PMTwitter Web Client
Stat: Rivera blew three of his first six saves when became the Yankees closer in 1997 Thursday, May 10, 2012 1:32:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Now I'm buddies with DTink. Shoulda done that earlier. He coulda put in a good word with that marketing intern last summer. Wednesday, May 09, 2012 11:15:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Ah jesus fuckin christ Dave Robertson. I'm no longer gay for you. This is why we need Mo in the 9th. Go back to the 8th Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:17:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Really lookin forward to leaving work at 1, drinking, then going to the Yankee game tomorrow, you guys Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:07:23 PMTwitter Web Client
To hell with Nurses week. We need Brogrammer week: http://t.co/hB5e26H Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:38:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Also, for some reason I'd like to give a random shout out to Mike Starr Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:01:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Celebrate nurses week: Bang a nurse. Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:00:55 AMTwitter Web Client
Who's the dick that broke the build Wednesday, May 09, 2012 9:13:25 AMTwitter Web Client
What's the twitter rule if you tweet at someone who doesn't follow you but you're private. Can they still see it? Tuesday, May 08, 2012 12:49:31 AMTwitter Web Client
IT guy just downgraded my video card from a Radeon HD 4550 to a Radeon HD 2400 XT. The FUCK man? Monday, May 07, 2012 4:36:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Lennon officially accused me of bruising her ass on Facebook and my boss replied "Oh My" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Monday, May 07, 2012 12:52:33 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @DadBoner: Was peepin' this babe named Sally Perez. Such a dynamite latina. Real generous in the caboose, lips, & chest beefer po ... Sunday, May 06, 2012 11:33:46 PMTwitter Web Client
So yeah. My Twitter was relatively tame considering the ridic events of yesterday. Saturday, May 05, 2012 1:27:14 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @ElBloombito: Feliz Cinco de Mayor to todos los Mexiquitos! Saturday, May 05, 2012 1:13:59 PMTwitter Web Client
Little bit sloppy on the fuckin flip cup... I need to get my shit together, Friday, May 04, 2012 6:29:07 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't have enough swag for this shit. Can't compete. Bogus Friday, May 04, 2012 6:00:37 PMTwitter Web Client
MO!!!! "I'm coming back. Write it down in big letters. I'm not going out like this." Friday, May 04, 2012 5:44:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Controller just told me to send my invoices to Accounts Payable.. You mean we have a department for this now? #gettingbighere Friday, May 04, 2012 3:43:23 PMTwitter Web Client
The Galaxy S III looks sexy, but Samsung doesn't get it. Touchwiz sucks and they still used a halfassed camera and pentile display Friday, May 04, 2012 1:16:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Real bummed about Mo, you guys. Friday, May 04, 2012 12:32:44 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm about to CUNCEL DA SAESON on the Yankees... Friday, May 04, 2012 12:21:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Meg L sounds so hot on the phone Thursday, May 03, 2012 3:26:27 PMTwitter Web Client
At least my score's 69. yeah buddy get it Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:40:35 AMTwitter Web Client
*choking. Fuckin grammar failure and a half tonight. Jesus Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:40:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Doing realllllll well in fantasy baseball this week, you guys... Where real well = chocking on a barrel of cocks: http://t.co/M3V5RmU Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:39:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Bitch needs to get laid Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:38:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Just got an email.. VP of CE at my company is the first person in my life I've ever seen use the word impotent not in reference to a penis. Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:37:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Sales team new hires are on a different level than other new hires Wednesday, May 02, 2012 10:55:59 AMTwitter Web Client
BANG BANG Wednesday, May 02, 2012 10:52:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Bunch of pansies over at Google/Youtube for pulling that Kate Upton Cat Daddy video. Come on. That wasn't bad at all Wednesday, May 02, 2012 3:04:50 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm worse than a fuckin professor at work. Might as well post public office hours, because motherfuckers are lined up to get shit from me. Tuesday, May 01, 2012 9:15:20 PMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 @BriBTC What the hell's he supposed to do, talk to you the whole 35 minutes? Guy's tired and wants to rest after work
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Tuesday, May 01, 2012 8:08:36 PMTwitter Web Client
"This company's life falls in Joe's hands" -Niraj Tuesday, May 01, 2012 11:07:38 AMTwitter Web Client
Hey @dadboner, you're awesome and shit, but stop blowing up my twitter feed. Monday, April 30, 2012 4:28:24 PMTwitter Web Client
pay for my data plan bitches Monday, April 30, 2012 3:30:54 PMTwitter Web Client
Call me maybe on my business card. reel in all the fly honeys Monday, April 30, 2012 1:17:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I think this coffee is decaf" Christina: "That's grounds for disciplinary action" Monday, April 30, 2012 10:33:39 AMTwitter Web Client
You brought tequila back from Mexico? That'll come in handy for the office Tres, Cuatro and Cinco De Mayo celebrations! Thanks Tara! Monday, April 30, 2012 10:25:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure there are two cats fucking outside the window. It sounds ridiculous Sunday, April 29, 2012 7:58:01 PMTwitter Web Client
From now on, I want you to put an equal amount of blueberries in each muffin! Sunday, April 29, 2012 6:11:53 PMTwitter Web Client
"You know you're a lying, lowlife motherfucking gambling degenerate prick. You know that's what you are?" Sunday, April 29, 2012 6:06:24 PMTwitter Web Client