5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Oh man.. I'm just fuckin breaking balls right now. So fired Wednesday, August 08, 2012 12:15:25 AMTwitter Web Client
But I had a few beers, so I should totally send it! DUH Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:44:07 PMTwitter Web Client
It's basically me telling one of the VPs who couldn't figure something out why he couldn't because the design team (Michelle) is dumb Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh man. If I send this email right now, I'm getting fired. But it will point out how fucked up things are. Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:43:18 PMTwitter Web Client
@VtotheFlo (SELECT COUNT * FROM tweet_archive WHERE is_drunk = 1 ) / SELECT COUNT * FROM tweet_archive) * 100
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Tuesday, August 07, 2012 9:55:09 AMTwitter Web Client
The mother fuckin Consuela in this office needs to stop taking my cups off my desk. They are MINE. Not dirty. Now they're missing Monday, August 06, 2012 1:25:27 PMTwitter Web Client
Redis is being cuntish Monday, August 06, 2012 1:18:45 PMTwitter Web Client
"Non blocking connect for SYNC fired the event." can go fuck itself in the ass and bleed Monday, August 06, 2012 12:52:37 PMTwitter Web Client
V as in.. Not the second letter, B Monday, August 06, 2012 11:11:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Wikipedia is down? Monday, August 06, 2012 9:40:56 AMTwitter Web Client
I just thought 2008 was two years ago. Fuckin A I'm getting old Sunday, August 05, 2012 8:32:36 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew sluttface
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Saturday, August 04, 2012 1:48:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Yes, this is what I send the Chief Operating Officer on a Friday at 6:45. #irunthisbitch http://t.co/T0fGHwG Friday, August 03, 2012 6:42:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Yes, this is what I send the Chief Operating Officer on a Friday at 6:45. #irunthisbitch http://t.co/7TcWyO1 Friday, August 03, 2012 6:40:47 PMTwitter Web Client
And by this bitch, I mean the cunt VP of support Friday, August 03, 2012 6:25:52 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't think you understand what just happened. My boss just beat me in a drinking game and almost just made me puke all over this bitch. Friday, August 03, 2012 6:25:35 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew when the keg got shitty: "Joes did you break the beer" Friday, August 03, 2012 6:23:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Played a drinking game of Foosball with my boss. Loser chugs. Almost yacked on the spot. #FML Friday, August 03, 2012 6:16:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Our system: Threadbare tapestry unwinding slow Friday, August 03, 2012 4:53:22 PMTwitter Web Client
Screaming Trees Pandora Radio and a couple of beers are the only things keeping me from taking this hammer on my desk and breaking shit Friday, August 03, 2012 4:41:55 PMTwitter Web Client
I just reread all of my sexts with @Colithika for the past two weels and the convo is just the craziest. Made me so happy. Friday, August 03, 2012 12:06:56 AMTwitter Web Client
BOOBSPACE Thursday, August 02, 2012 10:43:16 AMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika And let me get some
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Thursday, August 02, 2012 8:35:31 AMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika Bro what the fuck are you smoking
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Thursday, August 02, 2012 8:35:15 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is this new marketing manager like 7 feet tall? Also, if she's mean to Molly, I will injure her Wednesday, August 01, 2012 12:47:15 PMTwitter Web Client
7zip has horse shit, poorly documented command line parameters Wednesday, August 01, 2012 10:20:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Khodaja: "Is QA slow?" Christina: "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:57:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Who's the dick that burned the popcorn. Now my clothes are going to smell like shit Tuesday, July 31, 2012 3:18:31 PMTwitter Web Client
Am I the only person who really couldn't give two shits about the Olympics? Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:46:46 PMTwitter Web Client
On a roll, sons Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:40:59 PMTwitter Web Client
SQL lips sink ships Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:23:10 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Probably because I have been coming in early, so you're obviously avoiding me
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 8:41:20 AMTwitter Web Client
VP 1 emails me a ridiculous request. I ignore it. CCs VP 2. I answer them both and decline the request. #winning #irunthisbitch Monday, July 30, 2012 11:15:35 PMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 Google the translation asshole. Dope Sublime lyrics. I was responding to your 16 year tweet
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Monday, July 30, 2012 5:42:33 PMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 Me gusta mi reggae. Me gusta punk rock pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Monday, July 30, 2012 4:54:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Me to my boss: "Well, there are two ways to restart IIS. The right way, and the way we do it" #soghettoaroundhere Monday, July 30, 2012 3:55:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I mean, my weekend was wild as fuck, but at least I didn't wake up with shit on my chest @DadBoner Monday, July 30, 2012 3:33:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Really shitty Monday. I feel like crap and need to investigate why our servers were more fucked up than I was on Saturday Monday, July 30, 2012 10:44:01 AMTwitter Web Client
When I drink, my twitter is out of control Sunday, July 29, 2012 3:50:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Once again, buzzed before i left the office for the day. #alcoholism Friday, July 27, 2012 5:55:38 PMTwitter Web Client
If I didn't die in a Haliskoe drunk driving crash in all my time at Fairfield, I guess I'm invincible, you guys. Friday, July 27, 2012 4:59:56 PMTwitter Web Client
I am going to drop a the biggest "El Cantinero" in this work bathroom. Friday, July 27, 2012 9:55:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh shit. Lennon just requested to follow me on Twitter. Better not look through my old tweets.... Thursday, July 26, 2012 10:46:30 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew What a b. Also, learn that pickles are cucumbers. And stop knocking over G&Ts at the bar
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:45:35 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin A. I'm gonna be drinking from now until Sunday Wednesday, July 25, 2012 4:56:49 PMTwitter Web Client
"We are all drunk on doucheahol. Put that on your bingo card and smoke it" - Christina Wednesday, July 25, 2012 4:12:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I need to stop confusing all the new hires who have a bit more melanin. FML, I made an ASS out of myself Wednesday, July 25, 2012 1:57:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Gio's Skype icon is the absolute shit http://t.co/IgzGMju Wednesday, July 25, 2012 10:53:24 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick: "Yo this fuckin coffee tastes like ass" Wednesday, July 25, 2012 9:25:32 AMTwitter Web Client
PS - php kicked my ass tonight. Took me way too long to do the simplest bullshit, and it's still horse shit code. This is why I'm not a dev Tuesday, July 24, 2012 12:11:27 AMTwitter Web Client
I think I'm a cray. I must officially be a cray. And to think it wouldn't mess with me Tuesday, July 24, 2012 12:11:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Looking for Euthanasia? Just go to Bridgeport. You'll most likely get shot! Monday, July 23, 2012 11:54:02 PMTwitter Web Client
Hey look. Now you can see my tweets on a certain day in the past: http://t.co/uqTXqmT (don't make fun of the ghetto datepicker, IDK JS) Monday, July 23, 2012 11:50:10 PMTwitter Web Client
@tomwcleary Bridgeport drinking game: Take a shot whenever there's a homicide. Will mess you up...
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Monday, July 23, 2012 5:48:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Can't even take a shit without these RackSpace failure alerts hitting me up... Monday, July 23, 2012 5:33:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Yes, I just ordered a Nexus 7. #googlefanboy Do I need it? No. Money to blow? Yes. Monday, July 23, 2012 2:08:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking hate Verizon Wireless: http://t.co/vQoSWyb Friday, July 20, 2012 1:16:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Absolutely LOVE it how Christina sends me this video every time it rains outside: http://t.co/UweFwqg Friday, July 20, 2012 10:12:01 AMTwitter Web Client
These are the kinds of work emails I send out: http://t.co/lz7SII4 Friday, July 20, 2012 1:52:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Then they wonder why I won't vote for these two assholes in November http://t.co/V7242HL Thursday, July 19, 2012 2:33:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Just got this email from the COO: "Make Sure you block your calendars for Thursday, August XX. We'll be going drinking somewhere." Wednesday, July 18, 2012 3:28:56 PMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika Dude, y u struggle so much. I remember catching mewtwo in March 1999. Had 1/4 HP and was frozen. Then I used 2 Ultra Balls
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:22:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Just made up my mind. I'm gonna get hammered and go to a foo fighters show. Start touring in NYC again bitches Wednesday, July 18, 2012 1:31:12 AMTwitter Web Client
Free food! Love when we have clients in and take their leftovers. Fuckin wagner thinks its the only thing that makes me smile. Cunt Tuesday, July 17, 2012 2:38:53 PMTwitter Web Client
So legit: http://t.co/jGNShRG Tuesday, July 17, 2012 11:27:46 AMTwitter Web Client
PS - the UI team and Michelle need to get off my dick. The mobile apps can crash and burn. No more feedback from me. Tuesday, July 17, 2012 10:34:00 AMTwitter Web Client
This fucking hipster is wasting my compressed air can OCD dusting off his Macbook bullshit. Fuck Macs Tuesday, July 17, 2012 10:22:49 AMTwitter Web Client
Portfolioso: Clashing with UX and UI designers since 2006... Tuesday, July 17, 2012 10:18:11 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj: "You and Chris... Filing that bullshit bug that delayed my release" Tuesday, July 17, 2012 9:20:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Average July temperature for Miami: 89. Average July temperature for NYC: 90. This is a bunch of bullshit. #isitwinteryet? Tuesday, July 17, 2012 9:03:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if my FUCKING left eye stopped twitching for just 10 minutes out of the day Tuesday, July 17, 2012 2:16:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Just looking through the bug tracker. Nice to know a bug I opened my first week at work in 2010 is JUST getting fixed now, Jesus. Tuesday, July 17, 2012 1:17:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Looks like I quit the wrong week to pick drinking Monday, July 16, 2012 4:03:45 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DadBoner: Jeez. That Kate Upton is really somethin' else, you guys. Monday, July 16, 2012 3:02:54 PMTwitter Web Client
"We all Marco" "We all from Tropojë" Monday, July 16, 2012 3:02:50 PMTwitter Web Client
My quote made it to the Tech Team whiteboard: "I wasn't going to drink, but then I had a beer" #alcoholism Monday, July 16, 2012 11:30:55 AMTwitter Web Client
@mirrorfairfield Pay the fucking bill assholes "You currently owe $8.10. Please make a payment before 17 Jul 2012" Monday, July 16, 2012 10:34:38 AMTwitter Web Client
@michellemm22 Oh for fuck's sake... hey @mirrorfairfield. You are all a bunch of fuckups.
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, July 16, 2012 10:32:37 AMTwitter Web Client
@dannyrob88 That's hideous
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Friday, July 13, 2012 4:44:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Christina: "Holy crap on toast!" Friday, July 13, 2012 1:28:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Random memory from junior yr. Cleary telling me to stop "Whining on the bitch" Friday, July 13, 2012 11:21:52 AMTwitter Web Client
This is bullshit. We need a keg team here to make sure this shit works at all times. Thursday, July 12, 2012 6:18:28 PMTwitter Web Client
DLK is killing me with his analogy: "The keg's trying to piss out a kidney stone right now, except that kidney stone is made of yeast." Thursday, July 12, 2012 5:38:44 PMTwitter Web Client
HA: "you are excessive... and will pay me back for this... in very interesting ways..." Thursday, July 12, 2012 4:48:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Things to do instead of listening to this clown meeting: twitter, sending out drinking invites via work email, instagram, group chat Thursday, July 12, 2012 3:15:19 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't want to Skype these people. That's a clown meeting, bro. Thursday, July 12, 2012 2:57:33 PMTwitter Web Client
@BriBTC F Cablevision and Dolan. Not familiar with it bc I have FiOS. If you connect a secondary display, it won't play vid? How's it work?
In reply to @BriBTC's tweet
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 11:55:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Today, I realized that I started giving too much of a shit and was all stressy and in a bad mood. Finally don't give a fuck and I'm better Wednesday, July 11, 2012 10:05:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I can't eat I can't sleep I can't live I can't cry I can't die I can't walk I can't talk I can booze
I can booze and steal your shoes 		Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:18:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Really looking forward to margs tonight, you guys Tuesday, July 10, 2012 5:33:41 PMTwitter Web Client
There's an eyelash in my coffee. It's my own I hope. Tuesday, July 10, 2012 4:24:20 PMTwitter Web Client
"So what's the workaround?" Me: "The workaround is that she's been here since 2008 and should know better" Tuesday, July 10, 2012 3:47:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't want to work. i just want to hang out with everyone outdoors, dink some beers and have it be like 70 degrees and play frisbee Tuesday, July 10, 2012 9:34:05 AMTwitter Web Client
HA. Found this Manor yearbook proof I did when I was hammered and in a bad mood. Good thing this did NOT go to print. http://t.co/JwQGig4 Tuesday, July 10, 2012 2:44:32 AMTwitter Web Client
This fucking firewall shit is going to take all motherless night Tuesday, July 10, 2012 1:13:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Then I wonder why I got caught looking a year ago when this one visited last. Probably will get caught looking again. Monday, July 09, 2012 11:29:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Really can't get beer down right now, you guys. Friday, July 06, 2012 5:43:37 PMTwitter Web Client
@pipeandcane yo Friday, July 06, 2012 1:17:15 PMTwitter Web Client
Yo it's gonna be 98 tomorrow? That's some fuckin bullshit Friday, July 06, 2012 11:02:10 AMTwitter Web Client
If you wear white pants and have a good ass, I'll probably want to bang you, even if you're a butterface Friday, July 06, 2012 9:03:32 AMTwitter Web Client