5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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Khodaja smells like mother fuckin shit. Friday, October 12, 2012 6:32:45 PMTwitter Web Client
Gio: "If your snack smells like a dirty box, please refrain from eating it in the office." Friday, October 12, 2012 5:22:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Finally: Stable is back to not sucking the ass Friday, October 12, 2012 3:07:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Happy Fridayernes! Motherfucker Friday, October 12, 2012 9:34:18 AMTwitter Web Client
I got ice in my crotch. (YEAH) I got ice in my crotch (HUH). ice in the mothafuckin crotch! Friday, October 12, 2012 9:33:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm DRINKING RAAAAGHT NOWWW! Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:04:22 PMTwitter Web Client
la la la la la la la!!!! Thursday, October 11, 2012 11:19:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I LOVE Halloween time and fall!! Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:12:24 AMTwitter Web Client
#lolarod Wednesday, October 10, 2012 10:46:35 PMTwitter Web Client
I feel like a fucking blimp Wednesday, October 10, 2012 3:19:25 PMTwitter Web Client
Blast from the past (Cinco de Mayo): Aniusha on flip cup: "Treat that shit like you treat a pussy." Wednesday, October 10, 2012 1:58:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Me: "Do we have any server images" Christina: "Yeah, they're all PNGs" Wednesday, October 10, 2012 1:28:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Yet another night of my life stolen from me. Thanks Booker. You fucking sluttface. Pay me more. Tuesday, October 09, 2012 11:51:11 PMTwitter Web Client
your mom's box Tuesday, October 09, 2012 5:38:34 PMTwitter Web Client
"We have to archive those logs. You know how many times we almost ran out of dick... DISK space" Tuesday, October 09, 2012 2:37:55 AMTwitter Web Client
What a dumb motherfucker; http://t.co/LzZL5gR Monday, October 08, 2012 10:52:59 PMTwitter Web Client
@Waspito Dude's crazy. There are hardly any Hasidics in Westchester. More like Brooklyn or the Catskills.
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, October 08, 2012 11:37:38 AMTwitter Web Client
This is the new theme song for our infrastructure team: http://t.co/vphfsPF Monday, October 08, 2012 11:34:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Took me a good 5 minutes to get around the new website blocks. #dontfuckwithmeargentina Monday, October 08, 2012 9:55:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Once they start blocking websites is kin d of the part when I start leaving because it's not like I can't get around them Monday, October 08, 2012 9:03:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Has anyone else ripped ass mid tweet, because I just did this now... Sunday, October 07, 2012 3:01:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Four out of my last five tweets are about my farts (including this one) #girlsdontfart Sunday, October 07, 2012 3:00:18 AMTwitter Web Client
I think I should be ripping ass into balloons and selling them as exploding pranks Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:55:14 AMTwitter Web Client
As the Mover would say, I'm gassy as a bastard Sunday, October 07, 2012 2:54:53 AMTwitter Web Client
I highly recommend listening to 2 minutes of @BadPointer trying to convince me to fuck a bear: http://t.co/ADjzumI Sunday, October 07, 2012 1:14:02 AMTwitter Web Client
For your viewing pleasure: Gallons of cow pus: http://t.co/6nm537l Friday, October 05, 2012 1:08:06 AMTwitter Web Client
I am intrigued by the fact that I just shit out a completely undigested blueberry I apparently swallowed whole. Thursday, October 04, 2012 10:48:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Tired. Can I take a nap now? Thursday, October 04, 2012 4:15:57 PMTwitter Web Client
"I think I'm getting a fever. Oh well. I'll just drink it out" @MalJNew Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:45:55 PMTwitter Web Client
oh my. little tipssssss. haven't been like this at lunch since the old office. fun bags was too lenient with the cider and Jameson Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:42:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"Those are the definition of fun bags" @MalJNew Thursday, October 04, 2012 3:35:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Big Bird for president! #thiscountryisafuckingjoke Thursday, October 04, 2012 12:49:14 PMTwitter Web Client
This is a horse shit system Wednesday, October 03, 2012 5:40:52 PMTwitter Web Client
LOL. Metro North is attempting to suck less dick than it already does http://t.co/7qPfjeR Wednesday, October 03, 2012 3:40:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I wouldn't drink out of either of these asinine cups from 7-11. I'd demand a normal one. I'm not endorsing some moron: http://t.co/L80ALhB Wednesday, October 03, 2012 12:30:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Clilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo http://t.co/X0chRi6 Tuesday, October 02, 2012 4:19:38 PMTwitter Web Client
I am going to unfollow @ElBloombito if he keeps retweeting @Jewyorican's tweets. No one gives a fuck Tuesday, October 02, 2012 1:52:52 PMTwitter Web Client
This dude Brent Ozar is a fuckin genius Tuesday, October 02, 2012 10:26:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Calenderp derp derp derp Tuesday, October 02, 2012 9:49:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice to know that I forgot to close my plain text file of passwords as the auditor looked at my screen #FAIL Monday, October 01, 2012 1:57:32 PMTwitter Web Client
I need a shower. I'm like disgusting right now Monday, October 01, 2012 11:44:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey is fucking dapper this fine morning Monday, October 01, 2012 10:56:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice to know that these two new servers we're leasing are worth more than I am per year. #jesusfuckingchristineedaraise Monday, October 01, 2012 10:33:56 AMTwitter Web Client
Then i saw his face / now I'm a belieber #biebs Monday, October 01, 2012 10:31:47 AMTwitter Web Client
♪♪ Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh- I got this thing
It's comin' over me ♪♪ 		Friday, September 28, 2012 6:00:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I have the bestest smile right now. Friday, September 28, 2012 11:37:45 AMTwitter Web Client
I'M SO CONVINCING. BELIEVE ME, DUH [10:52:54 AM] @maljnew: i'm not convinced [10:54:02 AM] Me: be convinced Friday, September 28, 2012 10:56:30 AMTwitter Web Client
♪♪ If you wanna hang out you've got to take her out, COCAINE ♪♪ Friday, September 28, 2012 10:45:09 AMTwitter Web Client
OMG water on Mars. http://t.co/Frn7fJg Friday, September 28, 2012 10:25:47 AMTwitter Web Client
I eat a lot Friday, September 28, 2012 10:20:57 AMTwitter Web Client
This bitch ass should not be wearing an exclusive company T-Shirt on the grounds that she's not doing the charity walk and didn't donate. Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:42 AMTwitter Web Client
Is it exactly like SoapUI, but with a better UI? Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00:20 AMTwitter Web Client
I wanted to snap his neck marine style, but didn't want to cause any trouble ;) Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20:59 AMTwitter Web Client
You know your day is going to be amazing when a big obnoxious black gentleman tells you to move your fucking bag motherfucker on the subway Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20:39 AMTwitter Web Client
Try now. It should work now, in a little while. Thursday, September 27, 2012 5:47:09 PMTwitter Web Client
I smell a rat. I hate fuckin rats. Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:47:09 PMTwitter Web Client
Me to Eric: "let's just take a dump and get it over with" (regarding one of our apps leaking memory). Then I wondered why everyone laughed Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:15:30 PMTwitter Web Client
Definitely don;t need a fucking bagel because I ate already, but whatever. I need one Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:27:23 AMTwitter Web Client
When the fuck is it going to be mother fucking 55 degrees or less. It's too fucking hot in this bitch Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:17:44 AMTwitter Web Client
Everything sucks Thursday, September 27, 2012 9:03:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Me: "I think I see why this is busted" Christina: "Was it due to locusts" Wednesday, September 26, 2012 5:26:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Booker: Anything's possible in a cartoon Wednesday, September 26, 2012 4:13:31 PMTwitter Web Client
It smells like grape Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:56:59 PMTwitter Web Client
You're a cunt if you use javascript to disable text selection on a site. For real? It's not like it's stopping me. What a joke Wednesday, September 26, 2012 1:06:00 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't care how good you are (even though you're not). If you can't use motherfuckin deodorant at work, I'm firing your filthy ass. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 12:24:00 PMTwitter Web Client
Bang the frontend team, just not on the backend Wednesday, September 26, 2012 10:12:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Welp, old laptop from 05 I use as a server... Fan just started sounding like a lawn mower for no reason. Thought it was the HD..Now it's ok. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 2:50:52 AMTwitter Web Client
Just flashed new CDMA and LTE radios on my #nexus. Going to see if it works better on the train tomorrow. Tuesday, September 25, 2012 8:32:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I think every morning should be like this morning! Tuesday, September 25, 2012 10:07:10 AMTwitter Web Client
How you know I'm fried. Just told the coworkers that everything was all set for the weekend and I'd see them Monday. It is Monday. JEEEZ Monday, September 24, 2012 7:24:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Pockets can go fuck himself Monday, September 24, 2012 12:16:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Anyone else notice that Firefox has turned into a hideous piece of shit that freezes and crashes nonstop? Monday, September 24, 2012 9:13:43 AMTwitter Web Client
My phone is using more power than the USB port can provide. It's plugged in "charging" status, but the battery % is decreasing Friday, September 21, 2012 2:31:30 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew Sand in the vajay, beach girl. Suck it.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, September 21, 2012 11:37:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Alisa: "If @MalJNew were here right now, she'd call you a girl. (regarding me eating only a half of a donut) Friday, September 21, 2012 9:45:29 AMTwitter Web Client
Not sure how I feel about Apple's lightning cable. Fuck them for making it nonstandard. At the same time, it's reversible?!?! That's amazing Friday, September 21, 2012 12:30:22 AMTwitter Web Client
Gonna strut that ass tomorrow Friday, September 21, 2012 12:25:14 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck these servers. Essentially, anything that could have gone wrong went wrong Thursday, September 20, 2012 10:03:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Lol Apple sucks: http://t.co/V7wRV9T Thursday, September 20, 2012 9:12:54 PMTwitter Web Client
If you haven't noticed, tomorrow is Friday Thursday, September 20, 2012 5:34:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Elise just came over to my desk, stole a cookie and said how much she missed @MalJNew Thursday, September 20, 2012 3:48:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Just bought a bunch of buckyballs for $5 #lovetheballs #jk Thursday, September 20, 2012 3:25:01 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't think it's normal to drop a green one. Must have been the wasabi.... Thursday, September 20, 2012 1:24:10 PMTwitter Web Client
But why is my phone speaker hissing at me when it's completely off? Thursday, September 20, 2012 10:31:17 AMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: I am going to name my apartment Theory. Because in Theory, everything works! Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:13:29 PMTwitter Web Client
Xtina: "Hey. have you considered sucking it?" Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:00:05 PMTwitter Web Client
TK you fucking know-it-all. Stop telling us how to do our tech jobs when you are clueless about life, the universe and everything Wednesday, September 19, 2012 2:08:02 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: What is happen in cloud is stay in cloud because nobody can able reproduce outside of cloud. Wednesday, September 19, 2012 2:07:13 PMTwitter Web Client
Jammin out to The Doors much to @RockNationRadio's displeasure Wednesday, September 19, 2012 12:57:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure I sliced my face off shaving. Like 4 cuts. Fuckin amateur hour. Didn't even mess my face up this bad when I was 17 Wednesday, September 19, 2012 12:15:30 AMTwitter Web Client
Like Andrew Jackson, I have a habitual disregard of laws and constitutional provisions Tuesday, September 18, 2012 4:32:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@Colithika just drop the whacker and then there'd be no more hating
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Tuesday, September 18, 2012 2:39:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I HATE FUCKING LOSING AT SHIT Monday, September 17, 2012 2:12:50 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew If you weren't so fuckng far away, I'd tell you to suck it so hard
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Monday, September 17, 2012 1:52:23 PMTwitter Web Client
This is the one fuckin thing that pisses me the fuck off on Android: http://t.co/z10yIcZ Monday, September 17, 2012 1:28:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Working from home today. Like Chunz, they must all think I'm Jewish at work... Monday, September 17, 2012 9:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Oh for fucks sake with these fuckers. GET YOUR LIVES TOGETHER, dev team Monday, September 17, 2012 7:59:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Anyone ever hear of Operation Northwoods? http://t.co/56grzlX A'mrrrrrrka. Fuck yeah! Monday, September 17, 2012 1:12:37 AMTwitter Web Client
@kerbear88 @kellyomealia That was just a two day joke I took overboard / may have been drinking a lot
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Sunday, September 16, 2012 8:58:02 PMTwitter Web Client
I like the word amazeballs. Have to start using it more. Sunday, September 16, 2012 11:04:31 AMTwitter Web Client