5975 tweets posted from Twitter Web Client
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@ky9 I would commit a crime if my FiOS went out. It's like the best thing ever
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Monday, November 12, 2012 10:20:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Uberfacts basically said I need shrooms to be creative. Welp, no wonder I'm so uncreative Monday, November 12, 2012 10:19:28 PMTwitter Web Client
This new iOS dev we hired looks like a mix between Curly from the Three Stooges and Anthony Martinez from Fairfield 2010 Monday, November 12, 2012 4:25:00 PMTwitter Web Client
@VtotheFlo @KeriAHarrison Duh. I'm awesome bitches
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Monday, November 12, 2012 9:22:50 AMTwitter Web Client
It's okay though. There's a solution for people like TK. #cuntpunt Monday, November 12, 2012 9:13:28 AMTwitter Web Client
Yes, TK. I appreciate you yelling at me in front of DLK that it's ALL my fault we all stayed too late drinking in the office last Friday. Monday, November 12, 2012 9:03:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Lost my upper vocal range, probably screaming 90s at Daktoa Bar 3 weeks ago. it better be back soon.... :/ Friday, November 09, 2012 2:11:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Feel like a new man. Got a big boy SSD, Windows 8, Office 2013 (thx BizSpark) and a new phone case/screen protector! Friday, November 09, 2012 12:29:43 AMTwitter Web Client
"You suck at your job, you've got a Napoleonic complex and I'm gonna fuck your mother if I ever meet her" -Billy Walsh Thursday, November 08, 2012 5:07:10 PMTwitter Web Client
I am the slackiest slacker slackin' Thursday, November 08, 2012 2:43:41 PMTwitter Web Client
Finally fixed my twitter app. Imported the missing tweets and for the word count page, it sorts based on usage (rather than alphabetical) Thursday, November 08, 2012 2:07:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Woooooo snow! In Manhattan. Weird. Usually it's too warm here Wednesday, November 07, 2012 11:56:42 AMTwitter Web Client
So John Denver predicted the future with his song Rocky Mountain High? Wednesday, November 07, 2012 10:37:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Barack Hussein Obama. El presidente. Wednesday, November 07, 2012 9:51:05 AMTwitter Web Client
Parsing twitter's JSON in php and arrays and objects can seriously blow me right now. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:11:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Jeans to me: "You understand. Chris does not" #duh #imtheshit #knowitall Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:09:28 PMTwitter Web Client
Whats the worst thing to say to a girl out of these three: "when's it due?" "it's that time of the month" or "stop being a cunt" Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:32:21 PMTwitter Web Client
I HAVE THIS SHIT RT @UberFacts “Grammar Pedantry Syndrome” is a form of OCD in which sufferers need to correct every grammatical error. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:36:59 PMTwitter Web Client
"i asking if we are allow to create an admin account" ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT? How do we hire these fucking people Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:33:50 PMTwitter Web Client
#DLK2012 #JEANS #DATASS Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:08:27 AMTwitter Web Client
Remember folks - your vote doesn't mean jack shit, so why bother. If certain states count more, what is the point? #freedomisanillusion Tuesday, November 06, 2012 9:10:44 AMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew suck it the most
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, November 06, 2012 9:03:50 AMTwitter Web Client
It fetches the right data by tweet ID. Now I just need to have it write it back to the DB Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:19:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Yeahhhhh buddy. Already started working on my tool that's going to import the 11 days of tweets i didn't archive into my db. Tuesday, November 06, 2012 3:18:51 AMTwitter Web Client
fuckin legitimate. fixed a bug in my twitter app and now the times aren't like 4 hours off. Enfuckinjoyyyyyy http://t.co/QJWJvSF Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:55:34 AMTwitter Web Client
3135 is the smallest order of a cyclotomic polynomial whose factorization contains 7 as a coefficient. Monday, November 05, 2012 4:54:41 PMTwitter Web Client
@Lennon get back to work
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Monday, November 05, 2012 3:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Firefox is a fucking inferior web browser. Freezing, memory leaking, single processed piece of shit Monday, November 05, 2012 3:02:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Jay is annoying the fuck out of me today. He has his phases.Today, he's needy Monday, November 05, 2012 1:47:24 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm sick of seeing your manly-jacked yet still anorexic body all over Facebook. Put it away. It's gross. Monday, November 05, 2012 12:23:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Keyboards should have memory Monday, November 05, 2012 10:26:48 AMTwitter Web Client
this conference call is a bunch of horse shit Friday, October 26, 2012 3:35:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Ok i fixed my shit. For fuck's sake. I'll manually import the missing data next week Friday, October 26, 2012 2:25:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Twitter's API can suck it Friday, October 26, 2012 2:20:03 PMTwitter Web Client
shit on a stick/. not please bitches Friday, October 26, 2012 2:14:05 PMTwitter Web Client
OK i think i fixed this shit i hope Friday, October 26, 2012 2:10:22 PMTwitter Web Client
fucking twitter. shut down the old API on 10/11 so that broke my http://t.co/ssCC6i3 app.... just noticed now. Friday, October 26, 2012 2:08:18 PMTwitter Web Client
FUCK. the importer broke on the 10th Friday, October 26, 2012 1:52:36 PMTwitter Web Client
I hope i didnt break this shit Friday, October 26, 2012 1:45:15 PMTwitter Web Client
new version of twitter tools sucks balls. Will not use (it's for my tweets app). I do like how they fixed the datetime issue though Friday, October 26, 2012 1:36:16 PMTwitter Web Client
I honestly think Gio is the funniest human around Friday, October 26, 2012 10:41:32 AMTwitter Web Client
I want Windows 8 and a new SSD Friday, October 26, 2012 10:31:02 AMTwitter Web Client
Jesus christ. I just CCd @MalJNew on an email to the WHOLE dev team that I meant to BCC. Me bitching at them to stop breaking the build Friday, October 26, 2012 10:10:44 AMTwitter Web Client
At least I get to strut dat ass Friday, October 26, 2012 9:34:19 AMTwitter Web Client
xanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanax Friday, October 26, 2012 9:33:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Not only did I wake up pissed off, my face looks like a fucking pizza pie and the 4/5/6 decided not to run, and it's fucking too hot in here Friday, October 26, 2012 9:33:24 AMTwitter Web Client
This is what my to-do list looks like at work tomorrow: http://t.co/WMDY6LZ Friday, October 26, 2012 12:22:38 AMTwitter Web Client
REALLY lookin forward to the weekend, you guys Thursday, October 25, 2012 12:35:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm the man... With the plan. I break the ice with my ass. Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:27:36 AMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu They took my access away
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:27:08 AMTwitter Web Client
yeah yeah yeah fuckin suck a dick bitch Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:22:44 PMTwitter Web Client
Joel, hop off my dick Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:06:11 PMTwitter Web Client
Blatantly denied the VP of Engineering when he asked me to sit on a maintenance tonight #nahson #mayorofthisbitchandrunthisshit Wednesday, October 24, 2012 4:13:27 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't know what the fuck TunTun is talking about? Wednesday, October 24, 2012 11:04:00 AMTwitter Web Client
Really wish it was tomorrow at this time, minus a few hours, you guys Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:02:41 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj - bring me a mother fuckin' beer, bitch. Can't you see I'm the mayor here on Foursquare? You're welcome Tuesday, October 23, 2012 5:14:48 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't care about the debate. I'm just going to watch puppies on youtube all night: http://t.co/MpAeh9T Monday, October 22, 2012 9:02:55 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @RepRonPaul: The internet revolution is a liberty revolution http://t.co/sttmKWmi Monday, October 22, 2012 4:52:29 PMTwitter Web Client
"There was no downtime during this morning's rollout. That's how I roll" Monday, October 22, 2012 3:36:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey: "Well there won't be any downtime, only some issues where it won't be available for a minute or so" #engineerdefinitionofdowntime Monday, October 22, 2012 2:50:10 PMTwitter Web Client
Suck my dick for making me do a 7am maintenance today, a 10PM tonight and 6AM tomorrow. #RAISE #fuckoff Gonna do a startup w/ @__JLu instead Monday, October 22, 2012 11:49:31 AMTwitter Web Client
Not a bug. Someone tried to use IE7. Our app should detect this and say "You are useless at life. Please off yourself" Monday, October 22, 2012 9:37:24 AMTwitter Web Client
I thought @Lennon was supposed to be a public facing, non-crazy twitter. She's still tweeting about tits/funbags and jeans' ass. #mystyle Monday, October 22, 2012 9:22:32 AMTwitter Web Client
This is some fuckin bullshit that I was forced to work from home tomorrow because of a release. It's pink day/ a bake sale for cancer. Monday, October 22, 2012 1:40:40 AMTwitter Web Client
X-Tina just beat me 10-5 in fooseball. Bitch ass trick Friday, October 19, 2012 7:01:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Ghost ride the whip... Ghost ride... YOUR MOM Friday, October 19, 2012 6:04:46 PMTwitter Web Client
"Wait a minute! You use bigger ones if you want something fluffy?" Friday, October 19, 2012 5:40:07 PMTwitter Web Client
Ohhh I think this beer fucks you up. Oh my Friday, October 19, 2012 5:24:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Welp, like everyone at my company recently, looks like @DadBoner is getting fired also. #bogus Friday, October 19, 2012 3:46:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Could really use some beers right now, you guys. Friday, October 19, 2012 3:40:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Struttin that ass, brogramming: http://t.co/a3HKOqT Friday, October 19, 2012 1:11:09 PMTwitter Web Client
@__JLu Now that's a REAL abuser's list
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, October 19, 2012 11:33:59 AMTwitter Web Client
I just realized I may come across as a fuckin whackjob on twitter to other, more normal people Friday, October 19, 2012 11:21:14 AMTwitter Web Client
"going to lose the whole day playing with joes balls"-pat "you can do anything you want with joes balls"-mal Friday, October 19, 2012 11:17:26 AMTwitter Web Client
albs is trying to bang rollo. i can see it in his eyes Friday, October 19, 2012 10:33:07 AMTwitter Web Client
Derick, regarding the new pumpkin beer: "If a pumpkin took a piss, that's what it would taste like" Friday, October 19, 2012 9:59:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Everyone loves my balls. They all want to play with them Friday, October 19, 2012 9:19:15 AMTwitter Web Client
On a brighter note, there will be no parade to clutter up the vicinity of my office building and make me rage on the subways Thursday, October 18, 2012 6:05:55 PMTwitter Web Client
CUNCEL DA YANKEES Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:46:29 PMTwitter Web Client
As I said in Game 2 of the ALCS, this SAESON is CUNCELED Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:46:18 PMTwitter Web Client
Tell elise I want my balls back Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:10:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Mother fucker. Fuck the fuckin world and my new band... It's called. Syskill: http://t.co/S1Cr9eS Thursday, October 18, 2012 11:37:04 AMTwitter Web Client
This is my 8,000th tweet. Sadly, it is not about struttin' that ass, a drunk/incoherent mess, sluts, bitches, motherfuckers or how hot I am Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:03:38 PMTwitter Web Client
THE BUILD WORKED. About fuckin time Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:00:04 PMTwitter Web Client
If any build breaks just one more time, I will lose my shit Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:43:51 PMTwitter Web Client
"you wha you guys opption that if a customer is cancel from a class, should they get a Appointment Cancellation email or a Class email?" Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:22:53 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm such a dumb bitch. Lost my buckyballs and thought someone stole them and they were around my neck Wednesday, October 17, 2012 2:56:30 PMTwitter Web Client
and because there's a bastardization of file paths using mixes of forward and backslashes, finalbuilder is being a dick Wednesday, October 17, 2012 2:43:42 PMTwitter Web Client
I drink bud lights for hydration. Shit's weak Might as well be water. It's like 96% not alcohol. Wednesday, October 17, 2012 11:15:18 AMTwitter Web Client
What should I write for my upcoming 8,000th tweet? Wednesday, October 17, 2012 11:07:01 AMTwitter Web Client
Lennon w/ PERFECT ADVICE: joe... trivia tomorrow... lots of drinking. fuck this series and the election. fuckity fuck fuckishit booker fuck. Wednesday, October 17, 2012 12:25:19 AMTwitter Web Client
Seriously, it's as if Cy Young was pitching to a bunch of little leaguers. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:14:39 PMTwitter Web Client
I don't know what's worse... Both presidential candidates, or the New York Yankees. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:14:05 PMTwitter Web Client
Hughes out in the 4th? Does it get any worse for the Yankees? Tuesday, October 16, 2012 9:26:06 PMTwitter Web Client
Tech Operations team here... They don't know their ass from their elbow. Fuck this shit I'm out. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5:46:08 PMTwitter Web Client
Brian Wilson is a crazy bastard, and this gif is excellent: http://t.co/S4lKkdY Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:40:50 AMTwitter Web Client
T-15 tweets until 8,000. #bitches Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:38:12 AMTwitter Web Client
12:37AM, so I think I'll compile node from source on 5 servers #bookerlife Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:37:36 AMTwitter Web Client
Uhhhh. It's exactly what it looks like Monday, October 15, 2012 3:03:59 PMTwitter Web Client
If that hoe doesn't know... that she was getting fucked on the 19th Flo' hahahahhahahahah Monday, October 15, 2012 1:46:09 PMTwitter Web Client