1530 tweets posted from Twitter Web App
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Dude when your company starts outsourcing dev work, no one gives a fuck. It's like the Hessians in the Revolutionary war. You can't win. Bunch of fuckin morons Thursday, July 22, 2021 9:46:10 AMTwitter Web App
We're in the middle of a mass extinction and society as we know it will collapse in the 2040s: https://t.co/A0JEzdbHSh Wednesday, July 21, 2021 11:30:56 AMTwitter Web App
Dude, heath insurance companies are such a crock of shit. I just had a claim denied because out of the blue, they decided I could possibly have other coverage and the fuckers wanted the other company to pay. No, I don't have other coverage. Approve my shit Monday, July 19, 2021 5:53:33 PMTwitter Web App
I sent a poop emoji to New Relic's deployments API and their portal cannot display the record, but their graphs do, and now this is going to be a very awkward support request to get them deleted Thursday, July 08, 2021 10:25:47 AMTwitter Web App
Fucking Ubuntu 20 LTS ships with an antique version of node, and when I upgraded it, everything fucked up Wednesday, July 07, 2021 5:24:14 PMTwitter Web App
I fucking HATE typescript, nodejs and any of these javascript languages with the fire of a thousand suns Wednesday, July 07, 2021 5:21:28 PMTwitter Web App
I'm sorry, but the engineer who did this is a gd asshole...

1) Pushing as "Administrator" directly from our build agent. I know who you are.
2) Stop polluting my repo with test commits https://t.co/bjX8UwUuy5
Tuesday, July 06, 2021 12:52:06 AMTwitter Web App
I found a bunch of NFC tags from like 8 years ago and when I scanned, them, they all contained text telling me to eat a dick Wednesday, June 30, 2021 12:28:57 PMTwitter Web App
My dog is farting so much, I'm gassed out in here... Literally the whole upstairs smells like farts. Tuesday, June 29, 2021 2:12:44 AMTwitter Web App
BAHAHAH RUDY G disbarred in NYS for being a dumb asshole! I want a full press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping! Thursday, June 24, 2021 5:35:27 PMTwitter Web App
I was today years old when I learned there was a Yolo county in California from a Covid-19 infographic Saturday, June 19, 2021 12:06:39 AMTwitter Web App
God allegedly gives people free will. Big Dick Biden is giving people free will. It's called pro choice. He's not the one making decisions for people - let them make it. How is that a sin on his part. Leave him alone with this made up BS
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, June 18, 2021 11:57:47 PMTwitter Web App
Separate Church and state! It's fine if Big Dick Biden is a holy Catholic. It's also fine if he supports pro choice policies. Let the man have his Jesus cracker if he wants it.

https://t.co/uHoh4CqQ99
Friday, June 18, 2021 11:55:00 PMTwitter Web App
What a turtle-necked dumb bag of dicks https://t.co/Ue9Xd0yq3h Friday, June 18, 2021 11:53:15 PMTwitter Web App
@AjitPai @FCC I don't understand the implication of all this jibber-jabber. Yes, Huawei can't be trusted, but you're also a Trump / Verizon shill, so that's equally unattractive.
In reply to @AjitPai's tweet
Friday, June 18, 2021 11:51:06 PMTwitter Web App
Anyone upset they're not married yet. Don't fuckin do it Thursday, June 17, 2021 11:00:01 PMTwitter Web App
WFH all alone, windows wide open, and I just got caught by someone walking by screaming Michelle Branch songs at the top of my lungs Wednesday, June 16, 2021 3:44:08 PMTwitter Web App
No one wants to see this shitty assed, .500, AA team in person. Now that Cole can't use spider tack, you watch - it's gonna be a slugfest throughout MLB. Baseball has been ruined. We should just go back to the 80s when everyone was ripping amphetamines. Was fun; now is lame. https://t.co/ZkfYGKlgO6 Tuesday, June 15, 2021 4:45:37 PMTwitter Web App
The Yankees STINK. Get Boone the fuck out. He stinks. Baserunning stinks. Pitching stinks. Hitting stinks. Cashman stinks. Steinbrenner rolling in grave rn

I can't root for this horse shit team. It's no fun to even watch these little league assholes
Sunday, June 13, 2021 4:15:55 PMTwitter Web App
Oh wait, you actually can. Need to set the version with amazon-linux-extras

This is documented nowhere except the 15th google search entry on Joe Schmo's blog. Again, WTF
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, June 12, 2021 6:38:11 PMTwitter Web App
Utter bullshit that on Amazon Linux 2, if you `yum install php`, it installs a version of php from 2012. THE FUCK Saturday, June 12, 2021 6:27:00 PMTwitter Web App
BTW, last tweet was entirely satire... The last president's base actually speaks like that on the reg
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, June 11, 2021 10:26:09 PMTwitter Web App
Totally not fake news: According to Fox News, Sweden is experiencing a violent crime surge due to their open immigration policy. Gotta be those rapist Mexicans walking across the border

https://t.co/w1iLCUfWFc
Friday, June 11, 2021 10:25:13 PMTwitter Web App
And who was the genius that picked https://t.co/Y9sxCQBDYM? I've seen scammers with better domain names. YEESH.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, June 03, 2021 4:55:55 PMTwitter Web App
You CANNOT be serious. WTF is my password doing in a query string in plaintext? So it can be stored in plaintext on webserver access logs? Who designed this https://t.co/Hiqg23roea
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, June 03, 2021 4:54:38 PMTwitter Web App
@Fiserv Wow, my mortgage was sold off to a bank that uses your system and it SUCKS. https://t.co/0HkGa4PIUq is slow AF, (10-20 seconds per page), you can't edit ACH info, make payments. What is this garbage? Thursday, June 03, 2021 4:24:30 PMTwitter Web App
I mean, I know it's a legacy, rarely used app, but holy Christ on the cross... It cannot possibly work after he migrated this shit to the cloud. And the funny thing is, no one noticed it broke for 6 months. Only because we have to deploy it, and there's no pipeline or dev env🤦‍♂️
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, June 02, 2021 10:07:09 PMTwitter Web App
When you need to half ass some infra at work, at least half ass it in a way where it's functional and has sound logic... This guy that left - wtf did he actually do here? There's no way this horseshit can possibly work in prod. Config typos, manual file overrides. YIKES Wednesday, June 02, 2021 10:04:49 PMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev Appreciate your feedback & response. It's also a little newer, cheaper, and looks like ASUS dropped their 386.42840 update before the AX-88U.

As long as it will have strong Merlin support, I'm down!
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Wednesday, June 02, 2021 11:53:20 AMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev If I wanted the best new modern Asus Router (cost is not an issue) that you see them supporting for a while, what would you get? AX-88U?

I heard the AX-86U is similar hardware but a little weaker on 2.4ghz...
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Wednesday, June 02, 2021 10:51:58 AMTwitter Web App
Attention all you Trump IDIOTS who are all like "OMG GAS IS TOO EXPENSIVE IT'S BIDEN'S FAULT..." Learn economics. Also, it was the same price in summer '19 - I've been graphing prices near me for two years https://t.co/J9FohOK12R Thursday, May 27, 2021 3:31:13 PMTwitter Web App
I don't understand how many fucking times I have to show this slow-learning engineer the same goddamn thing. This is like the third working session on the same shit and he did it hands on twice already.

Figure it out or get lost. I have my own shit to do
Friday, May 21, 2021 2:08:14 PMTwitter Web App
I'm not a gun guy, but I pulled out a pair of shorts from last summer and found a 5.7x28mm shell in my pocket. The fuck? Thursday, May 20, 2021 3:17:21 PMTwitter Web App
@Jim_Jordan "Trust the common sense of the American People"

Your cult leader once suggested using light and bleach internally to cure Covid...

You sir, are a moron
In reply to @Jim_Jordan's tweet
Thursday, May 20, 2021 2:11:29 PMTwitter Web App
I'm just thinking the AC87U has bad hardware and a strange chipset that folds under load. Considering this model is unsupported, I want to look into a new router.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, May 18, 2021 2:23:38 PMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev Is there a limit on # of WiFi5 devices on one band (2.4ghz) on the AX88U before it starts getting unstable? I have 5-10 devices that use low bandwidth on an 87u, and the whole network is unstable and has high ping. 5ghz is fine Tuesday, May 18, 2021 2:22:27 PMTwitter Web App
We're all living in a simulation Friday, May 14, 2021 9:44:25 AMTwitter Web App
@JJFromTheBronx Thanks, Obama
In reply to @JJFromTheBronx's tweet
Friday, May 14, 2021 9:38:23 AMTwitter Web App
This piece of shit coffee maker died on me after 4 years and I probably only used it about 50 times: https://t.co/LRzJLWi6eP Friday, May 14, 2021 9:37:55 AMTwitter Web App
Anyone using unsafe gas containers and pulling this kind of shit deserves nothing less than to catch on fire and burn https://t.co/fMFfKuq0fO Thursday, May 13, 2021 9:37:09 PMTwitter Web App
@Neustar Are there any issues with @UltraDNS? DNS resolution is flaky Thursday, May 06, 2021 2:06:28 PMTwitter Web App
The engineer that quit a few months ago... His code is SO SHITTY, I want to gauge my eyes out. This is what I get for letting him "run with it"

And now I have to clean up this mess. Asshole.
Tuesday, April 27, 2021 11:23:20 AMTwitter Web App
@ColumbusGov Portrait of the police chief every time a Columbus cop kills a black person
In reply to @ColumbusGov's tweet
Tuesday, April 27, 2021 10:09:09 AMTwitter Web App
@MayorGinther The @ColumbusPolice didn't kill any of the white OSU kids rioting and flipping cars though

Your department is horse shit garbage. Keep flying your helicopters in CPD patterns assholes.
In reply to @MayorGinther's tweet
Wednesday, April 21, 2021 9:28:04 AMTwitter Web App
@newrelic Is it normal for a User API key to still work after deleting it? I compromised one of my user keys by committing it in plaintext, deleted it from the portal, created a new one and 15 mins later, the deleted key still authenticates API requests

The fuck
Friday, April 16, 2021 11:31:39 PMTwitter Web App
The fans should be throwing shit onto the field. The @Yankees are a garbage team.

Brian Cashman stinks. Aaron Boone stinks (mr "oh they're trying"). Cancel them all

Fuckin Steinbrenner is spinning in his grave. This is the worst start since 1989
Friday, April 16, 2021 11:27:07 PMTwitter Web App
https://t.co/AodnsoGoMJ https://t.co/HezxYi0eKQ Friday, April 16, 2021 10:39:49 AMTwitter Web App
They chose wrong. Shouldn't have given this useless bitch the job. Release him

https://t.co/P4NHIVZ72m
Thursday, April 15, 2021 11:37:28 PMTwitter Web App
@AskSunTrust @Collegebound973 Hey, it works now! Thank you! I'm no stranger to these types of web outages - happens to us all, so thanks to all who worked to restore this. The engineers don't get enough credit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 15, 2021 10:29:14 PMTwitter Web App
@AskSunTrust @Collegebound973 I work in tech on web based software. If some component of our platform was down for 4 whole days, I would be out of a job.

What is the actual problem? You lost data, didn't you?
In reply to @AskSunTrust's tweet
Thursday, April 15, 2021 10:14:14 PMTwitter Web App
@TruistNews you guys want to fix the shitty ass SunTrust portal and the fact that the Document Center has been down for days and I urgently need to grab a statement? Thanks Thursday, April 15, 2021 6:02:42 PMTwitter Web App
@BrendanCarrFCC @RepAnnaEshoo @FCC @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu @hulu

https://t.co/Ghi0D1HybJ
In reply to @BrendanCarrFCC's tweet
Thursday, April 15, 2021 3:49:56 PMTwitter Web App
Severe violators of this include @hulu and @YESNetwork
Stop blasting the damn commercials! https://t.co/qCFKO8Tda1
Thursday, April 15, 2021 3:48:17 PMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev WiFi 6E?

I really want to replace my AC-87U with something as long-lived as the AC-68U, but want to make sure it's future proof. I guess I can go with the AX-88U, but still waiting for prices to drop.
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Thursday, April 15, 2021 2:48:50 PMTwitter Web App
@nytimes Shocker. You get an entire army showing up to stop the
"riots" when they murder a black guy, but a bunch of hick Trump supporters can storm the Capitol and they wave them right in.
In reply to @nytimes's tweet
Wednesday, April 14, 2021 12:06:00 AMTwitter Web App
Wifi Jesus is friggin GENIUS https://t.co/BPCKITh7jD Wednesday, April 14, 2021 12:03:45 AMTwitter Web App
RT @venturecommunis: they built the 2nd tallest jesus statue in the world in an empty field outside a small polish town and the local pries… Wednesday, April 14, 2021 12:03:28 AMTwitter Web App
Special place in hell for someone who actually thinks putting a knee on someone's neck for minutes while they scream that they can't breathe is "objective reasonableness" For fuck's sake. https://t.co/26sOZzJyG5 Wednesday, April 14, 2021 12:01:55 AMTwitter Web App
Hey Japan, make sure this shit is no longer radioactive. Christ almighty https://t.co/E0d2RxTBIa Tuesday, April 13, 2021 9:53:50 AMTwitter Web App
JFC with these J&J vaccine clots. Pandemic is surging again, and now it's just going to be slower getting more people vaccinated.

This shit's never going away.
Tuesday, April 13, 2021 9:50:39 AMTwitter Web App
Who the hell is this no name Nick Nelson who can't pitch for shit? Friday, April 09, 2021 4:38:15 PMTwitter Web App
@HowFrankOfYou Hey! Just a bad day, doing better now. Really appreciate you reaching out - super nice of you! Hope all is well and things are getting better with this crazy pandemic
In reply to @HowFrankOfYou's tweet
Thursday, April 08, 2021 1:26:37 PMTwitter Web App
Is there a way to get a @SharePoint calendar into the native @Windows 10 native calendar app or Web based Outlook?

It's archaic AF and I only see instructions for desktop Outlook. No one under 40 should be using that clunky ass software
Monday, April 05, 2021 10:37:40 AMTwitter Web App
Happy fucking Easter
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, April 04, 2021 11:00:10 PMTwitter Web App
Nothing is ever what it seems. Even if people seem like they have their shit together, they probably don't. It's amazing how easy it is to keep outward appearances when shit is falling the fuck apart Sunday, April 04, 2021 10:59:48 PMTwitter Web App
Derek Chauvin is a piece of shit motherfucker Thursday, April 01, 2021 11:24:51 AMTwitter Web App
Hey @EricTrump you wiener face. Let the man go home on the weekend. Who the hell works 24/7/365. Let me remind you that your fuckup dad would go golfing all weekend long

"Heartbroken" over the way the country's being led? Good. Maybe it'll stop beating you deadbeat https://t.co/eh6OxRz4s8
Monday, March 29, 2021 2:20:03 PMTwitter Web App
@JoshMandelOhio @Abuyousef @IlhanMN @RashidaTlaib @CAIRNational @JoshMandelOhio Remember when you posted this poll, you pile of shit?

"Muslim Terrorists?" Isn't that being Islamophobic?

Don't you understand Islam is a peaceful religion? There are radical assholes everywhere, and they do not represent the majority https://t.co/G7JKGGlV2D
In reply to @JoshMandelOhio's tweet
Monday, March 29, 2021 1:50:25 PMTwitter Web App
@JoshMandelOhio @GovMikeDeWine @GovAbbott @JoeBiden @clevelanddotcom @JoshMandelOhio you're a real piece of shit
In reply to @JoshMandelOhio's tweet
Monday, March 29, 2021 1:46:46 PMTwitter Web App
Fuck a war https://t.co/4OW3KsWsNN Monday, March 29, 2021 1:35:43 PMTwitter Web App
What a kooky bastard. Crazy AF, but I got a chuckle out of this https://t.co/dK4Ey8vAlr Friday, March 26, 2021 12:13:18 AMTwitter Web App
How many times do I have to tell Product/UX motherfuckers that you're goddamn assholes if you prevent pasting into password fields. Because I randomly generate insane passwords. Now you're making me create them insecurely because I have to type it manually and it's not as complex Friday, March 26, 2021 12:12:21 AMTwitter Web App
Whoever decided that my house needed to have two tanks was a fuckin asshole. Yeah, there's a whirlpool tub, but the fuck do you need a gas and an electric tank for. What a waste of energy. We're three people! Wednesday, March 17, 2021 3:49:04 PMTwitter Web App
Just wanted everyone on Twitter to know that my hot water heater is a fucking piece of shit. The power vent motor's bearings are shot and the thing is so fucking loud, I'm going to take a sledgehammer to it. Wednesday, March 17, 2021 3:48:17 PMTwitter Web App
@mijo_77901 @MARYHam77598720 @AP When did you choose to be straight, asshole?
In reply to @mijo_77901's tweet
Monday, March 15, 2021 6:53:36 PMTwitter Web App
I have painters here doing a one week job. They showed up at 8AM. It's now 6:30 and they're still here. Don't contractors usually bounce at like 3/4?

Top notch work ethic, but I have shit to do and other rooms to prep. Go home! Cya tomorrow!
Monday, March 15, 2021 6:26:22 PMTwitter Web App
This is the stupidest f'in @MicrosoftEdge feature. Love the browser, but who thought it was a good idea to copy rich text to the clipboard from the URL bar. Glad you can shut it off

https://t.co/xArzHuvfCe
Monday, March 15, 2021 5:56:25 PMTwitter Web App
Dude we broke our ass for like 8 months on a huge migration that led to family problems, a good engineer quitting, a week of instability, and general misery...
and they give us fuckin DoorDash gift cards. No comp week off, no bonus. Fuckin DoorDash. Get the actual fuck outta here
Monday, March 08, 2021 11:10:26 PMTwitter Web App
Again, you people are surprised by this? Look at the guy. He's creep central. Sick fuck. Put him foot first through a wood chipper https://t.co/jiVipcp7mr Wednesday, March 03, 2021 1:04:13 PMTwitter Web App
@TheFirstDogs Moron @gregkellyusa, who isn't even verified on Twitter, called Biden's dog a junkyard dog. What a dick

Greg Kelly is a junkyard human who is a Trump cultist
In reply to @TheFirstDogs's tweet
Wednesday, March 03, 2021 11:03:28 AMTwitter Web App
These dumb, confederate, Trump-cultist hick motherfuckers. I'm trying to get this shit back to normal. Should have let the fucking south secede. Do not do this shit until big dick biden can get us all vaccines by May https://t.co/ZmVwVAsC2E Wednesday, March 03, 2021 11:01:40 AMTwitter Web App
I really need to poop and have been on calls since 9am solid. We're talking about decommissioning our colo now that we're in the cloud and I literally don't give a shit because I have to shit Wednesday, March 03, 2021 10:59:56 AMTwitter Web App
Our director of QA is literally dumb as a pile of rocks and doesn't understand modern DevOps and is proposing the most absurd shit. Every engineer is disagreeing with this fuckin guy, but no one can get him to change his mind or shit process. Guy's gotta go https://t.co/lQy38Tnla5 Friday, February 26, 2021 11:17:58 AMTwitter Web App
@mtgreenee What ever happened to "don't tread on me," motherfucker. Who gives a shit what gender people identify as. Why are you wasting your time on this shit. Do something else. Christ almighty
In reply to @mtgreenee's tweet
Thursday, February 25, 2021 8:19:39 PMTwitter Web App
@LarryInMissouri Why do you think he should he be fired?
In reply to @LarryInMissouri's tweet
Tuesday, February 23, 2021 1:05:21 PMTwitter Web App
I also searched slack for "piece of shit" company-wide and the only result was me saying it 67 times since 2017 Sunday, February 21, 2021 10:29:41 AMTwitter Web App
been up since midnight on a work maintenance that went fairly well, except for one minor thing and then we broke the fuck out of everything trying to fix the one minor thing Sunday, February 21, 2021 10:29:15 AMTwitter Web App
@SenTedCruz @connectforlife Can't give blood from Cancun you shithead
In reply to @SenTedCruz's tweet
Thursday, February 18, 2021 12:38:58 PMTwitter Web App
Hey @SenTedCruz, how's Cancun you fuckin piece of shit? Millions in your state without power and water and you're in fuckin Cancun. Go eat yourself Thursday, February 18, 2021 12:08:41 PMTwitter Web App
I had a mini panic attack because I thought I missed the Mars rover landing, but that's tomorrow! Wednesday, February 17, 2021 11:25:08 PMTwitter Web App
Dude who gives an actual fuck about what emojis are cool or not. Christ. Do something useful with your extra time

😂😂

https://t.co/cQcoTD0Cw8
Monday, February 15, 2021 11:55:08 AMTwitter Web App
Raze this piece of shit building immediately. Looks like asshole in the NYC skyline and we have whiny ass rich people saying it sucks https://t.co/aAaBl6b59Y Friday, February 12, 2021 10:26:51 AMTwitter Web App
RT @nytimes: 432 Park was the pinnacle of New York’s luxury condo boom half a decade ago, mostly fueled by foreign buyers seeking discretio… Friday, February 12, 2021 10:26:21 AMTwitter Web App
Probably some fuckin wacko Q-Anon, blue lives matter, Trump insurrectionist cult follower trying to get revenge for this. I call conspiracy!

https://t.co/VdAHV6jTIW
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, February 11, 2021 10:56:13 AMTwitter Web App
How the fuck do you arrest the BOSS, Bruce on a DWI when he only blew a .02? That's like a glass of wine or two. Legal limit's .08. Maybe .04-6 is pushing it.

Arresting officer should get the death penalty. Guy's got a clean record and never caused any trouble. F is this shit
Thursday, February 11, 2021 10:54:59 AMTwitter Web App
My mind is blown. Here I am spending more money like an asshole on uncured lunch meats, trying to avoid sodium nitrate and nitrite. I know damn well, that they use celery salt, which has nitrates, but was like whatever dude, it's just celery... NOPE. Shit's equally as bad. Thursday, February 11, 2021 1:33:17 AMTwitter Web App
@KylieJaneKremer @AmyKremer @america1stwomen @pastormarkburns @RealMattCouch @mtgreenee @DavidJHarrisJr @KatrinaPierson @leadpastor @pastorlocke Fuck yourself, you insurrectionist piece of shit
In reply to @KylieJaneKremer's tweet
Wednesday, February 10, 2021 3:48:52 PMTwitter Web App
WHY? I was under the impression that those fully vaccinated could still carry and spread the virus, it's just that they wouldn't get sick from it

Plus, it's only 90-95% effective https://t.co/WtKZpcrM4g
Wednesday, February 10, 2021 3:34:14 PMTwitter Web App
@Windows @Microsoft @windowsinsider This really bothers me. I know Windows 10 and Windows Server probably share some components but this lacks polish https://t.co/LVHUxNy2Xx Monday, February 08, 2021 11:39:13 AMTwitter Web App
@mtgreenee You are a full of shit bitch. I don't identify as a Democrat or Republican. We don't want to cancel Republicans. We want to cancel ignoramus cult morons who S Trump's D and spread his lies.

Resign, shitface
In reply to @mtgreenee's tweet
Tuesday, February 02, 2021 1:51:04 PMTwitter Web App