1530 tweets posted from Twitter Web App
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AWS is fucking stupid. How is this the most popular cloud?

Maybe it's just me resistant to change, but the way roles work are infuriating.
Tuesday, May 19, 2020 9:54:32 AMTwitter Web App
@naval This is the biggest full of shit tweet I've ever seen. Racism is rampant here. African American males are liable to get shot at for doing absolutely nothing wrong

Get the fuck real.
In reply to @naval's tweet
Monday, May 18, 2020 11:10:10 AMTwitter Web App
I see they finally got their lives together. A migration tool from Play music, gapless playback, and the design is pretty nice. https://t.co/fC0FF7BF2f Sunday, May 17, 2020 12:41:14 AMTwitter Web App
@AjitPaiFCC @FBI @CISAgov @CISAKrebs Clarification - I meant @AjitPaiFCC only. Not the other orgs I mentioned.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 13, 2020 11:21:30 AMTwitter Web App
@AjitPaiFCC @FBI @CISAgov @CISAKrebs You and the Trump administration are just as crooked as China, if not worse!
In reply to @AjitPaiFCC's tweet
Wednesday, May 13, 2020 11:11:03 AMTwitter Web App
lol @SlackHQ https://t.co/FM74LubU4m Tuesday, May 12, 2020 7:57:50 PMTwitter Web App
Dude these murder hornets have faces that look like fuckin Anime characters. Don't tell me someone didn't genetically create this shit to fuck with us all Monday, May 11, 2020 11:42:24 AMTwitter Web App
https://t.co/8iopsnZF0T
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, May 06, 2020 5:33:41 PMTwitter Web App
The polar vortex that's dropped over the eastern half of the country can go fuck itself, the stupid bastard. Didn't drop down all winter, so I got no snow, but when I want spring weather, it decided to just hang around. Middle of fucking may and it's going to be below freezing. Wednesday, May 06, 2020 5:33:28 PMTwitter Web App
Was on your average work call. Text from wife: https://t.co/1X2LEcSKHa Wednesday, May 06, 2020 5:11:14 PMTwitter Web App
It's the year 2020, and the fact that reputable news sites have a front page article telling people not to ingest cleaning supplies is just... I have no words.

Meanwhile on Fox News: "What the President actually meant was..."
Friday, April 24, 2020 11:23:32 AMTwitter Web App
Github was much more stable before MSFT bought them Tuesday, April 21, 2020 11:48:05 AMTwitter Web App
Half fucking dead because it goes from 70 to 25 to 70 to 25. Plus it didnt even snow this winter so the bugs are going to be out the fuck of control

KILL IT ALL WITH FIRE
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 16, 2020 4:42:53 PMTwitter Web App
2020: Attend funeral over facetime Thursday, April 16, 2020 4:35:15 PMTwitter Web App
Here's a picture of the tulips in my backyard on this date 2019 vs today.

2020 FUCKING SUCKS https://t.co/WsUhwcqS6o
Thursday, April 16, 2020 4:34:11 PMTwitter Web App
fuck everything Thursday, April 16, 2020 1:23:20 PMTwitter Web App
Taking the Science of Well Being (a free Yale course on Coursea), and Jesus Christ on the Cross, commit me immediately to the nearest mental health zoo Saturday, April 11, 2020 8:23:28 PMTwitter Web App
But who's going to pick my blueberries?https://t.co/gdStKSefpN Thursday, April 09, 2020 2:52:56 PMTwitter Web App
See, we always make fun of Canada, but they know how to do things right: https://t.co/M1s7xZeZ87 🇨🇦 Thursday, April 09, 2020 12:44:54 PMTwitter Web App
The US Government is being run like a fucking reality TV show. It's the real-life Apprentice... Idiot @realDonaldTrump doesn't like his inspector generals reports? No worries - just fire them and get people who tell him what he wants to hear instead Wednesday, April 08, 2020 1:19:37 PMTwitter Web App
@I_S_H_Y_ @googlenest Nest stinks. It's always down
In reply to @I_S_H_Y_'s tweet
Wednesday, April 08, 2020 11:05:08 AMTwitter Web App
@googlenest cameras are down

Cameras are expensive hunks. @WyzeCam is $20 and works better
Wednesday, April 08, 2020 10:49:31 AMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev Is this something you anticipate that they'll do with all the newer models "in the name of security?" Could this cause issues for people trying to use Asus-Merlin in the future?
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Monday, April 06, 2020 11:32:11 AMTwitter Web App
Someone ban this dumb motherfucker from science. Someone ban him from everything

https://t.co/iOgOB4zWV4
Monday, April 06, 2020 7:01:36 AMTwitter Web App
how could hell be any worse Friday, April 03, 2020 10:12:04 AMTwitter Web App
2020 needs to fucking end already. What a garbage year Thursday, April 02, 2020 8:44:42 PMTwitter Web App
@HobbyLobby way to ignore states' shelter in place orders and open during a pandemic national emergency

I HOPE YOU GAY HATING JESUS FREAKS CATCH THE CORONA
Wednesday, April 01, 2020 8:45:40 PMTwitter Web App
I always disliked, but respected @Apple, but this is a dick move. Fuckers.

You know how many apps use that API? Now we're stuck with either google weather, https://t.co/LyZGSRzV2A or accuweather and those all suck.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, March 31, 2020 9:28:50 PMTwitter Web App
APPLE JUST BOUGHT DARKSKY and told Android users and API users to fuck themselves.

@madebygoogle: This is WAR. You need to step up the weather game on Android 11
Tuesday, March 31, 2020 9:27:25 PMTwitter Web App
FUCKING @Apple BOUGHT AND RUINED DARKSKY. Can only use it on iOS.

And shutting down the API. Assholes.
Tuesday, March 31, 2020 9:17:08 PMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev Is there any way to export the "Traffic Analyzer - Statistic" graphs as a PDF/image or a table of the data? Monday, March 30, 2020 12:46:28 PMTwitter Web App
I fucking hate my job so much and I'm so lucky to still have one.

A few months ago before the virus, I could have had any devops job i wanted. now i'm stuck working with idiots who keep undoing all my good processes with shit and bureaucracy
Thursday, March 26, 2020 9:12:27 AMTwitter Web App
@HPWizardsUnite How am I supposed to complete the event if I can't pick up energy on the map. It's beyond full because I've been at home doing the daily tasks, getting 10 per day
In reply to @HPWizardsUnite's tweet
Wednesday, March 25, 2020 10:10:33 AMTwitter Web App
@DanPatrick You're a fuckin moron telling people to get back to their daily lives. Yes, we want the economy to go back to normal, but if millions of people die, that will be harder to do.

@NationalGuard needs to put him in isolation so he can't open his whore mouth and kill more people
In reply to @DanPatrick's tweet
Tuesday, March 24, 2020 1:17:06 PMTwitter Web App
Millennials to baby boomers: You heed the fucking advice. All you olds are going out and ignoring everything. We're in our bunkers https://t.co/NWweY3r06Q Wednesday, March 18, 2020 3:39:29 PMTwitter Web App
...in reality: A Chrome Canary canvas rendering bug. Or the webpage caught the virus
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, March 17, 2020 11:47:31 PMTwitter Web App
When the acid kicks in https://t.co/pl6UlfCdxP Tuesday, March 17, 2020 11:46:49 PMTwitter Web App
West Virginia doesn't have any Coronavirus cases because they don't have science in West Virginia. Only coal mining hillbillies Tuesday, March 17, 2020 3:59:15 PMTwitter Web App
Guess they should go ahead and cancel that wall construction to pay for this https://t.co/MBPJN2iV0d Tuesday, March 17, 2020 1:50:40 PMTwitter Web App
I didn't realize this virus had an assigned race. The fuck's wrong with people Monday, March 16, 2020 11:11:40 PMTwitter Web App
Never cared for DeWine, but he basically told a judge to fuck off and canceled the election anyway. Guy's handling this 'rus like a boss.

State only has a couple confirmed cases and he's like "nah, out testing blows. 100mil have it. Shut all the shit down"
Monday, March 16, 2020 11:09:35 PMTwitter Web App
And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all. Friday, March 13, 2020 6:15:11 PMTwitter Web App
https://t.co/gpFeDpywXc Friday, March 13, 2020 3:20:12 PMTwitter Web App
2020 was a piece of shit year from day 1. Literally had the shittiest start to the year and it's fucked more than ever now Thursday, March 12, 2020 5:17:17 PMTwitter Web App
Great use of an Engineer III's salary... I'm a git instructor
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 12, 2020 2:03:34 PMTwitter Web App
Not that anyone's working during the plague, but let's just stop my complex scripts I'm focusing on to show a new engineer how to do basic shit in ansible

NBD. My shit can slip and I can look like an asshole while I train new people on basic shit like logging into shit
Thursday, March 12, 2020 2:03:12 PMTwitter Web App
We have the utmost buffoon leading this country into the shitter Thursday, March 12, 2020 1:43:31 PMTwitter Web App
Is this shit satire, or serious? If it's true, I'm'a live to be a million! Going to have to disagree with it though. Being an asshole sucks

https://t.co/pCOUWRh5xu
Wednesday, March 11, 2020 12:39:51 AMTwitter Web App
My company is forcing us to download an app to send our location to them at all times because of the Corona virus and THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES

This isn't an ebola outbreak.
Tuesday, March 10, 2020 3:49:25 PMTwitter Web App
@CNN touche. you do that on purpose 🤣
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, March 10, 2020 11:44:09 AMTwitter Web App
There's all these amazingly qualified Democrats, including women, and we end up with these two old farts who'd likely die of coronavirus if they got it https://t.co/CqT3MlXpFd Tuesday, March 10, 2020 11:43:16 AMTwitter Web App
RT @nachosarah: BREAKING: the country Monday, March 09, 2020 3:25:53 PMTwitter Web App
The NY Post is a garbage tabloid, but I believe this. Why does @andrewcuomo thinks he knows more about a transit system than a proven transit expert? Drove the guy out as it was improving and now it's gonna suck again

https://t.co/6rrWYR8gyG
Friday, March 06, 2020 7:05:25 PMTwitter Web App
@RockNationRadio @mitchlafon I usually don't buy @corona in the winter, but I feel they are getting some bad press from dumbdumbs, so I'm gonna buy a bunch and throw a March beach party!
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Friday, March 06, 2020 1:41:52 PMTwitter Web App
Working on some legacy piece of shit script for work and some engineer included a 71 line batch file to get yesterday's date. If you do this, you should be permanently banned from the tech industry.

CHRIST SAKES THAT'S A ONE LINER IN POWERSHELL
Friday, March 06, 2020 1:39:49 PMTwitter Web App
@madebygoogle Will you PLEASE fix RCS? There is a giant thread of people where it keeps hanging on "Connecting..." Every other day I need to reset Carrier Services to get this working again. What the actual hell: https://t.co/FRXGYiYIeO

FIX THE GODDAMN BUG
Tuesday, March 03, 2020 4:42:20 PMTwitter Web App
@MetroNorth You're aware there's a divot on the right southbound rail, towards the rear (north) at the Scarsdale station, right? Should get that fixed so it doesn't cause wear on the wheels. Sounds like a huge clunk when trains drive over it https://t.co/1jgsZBR8AS Monday, February 24, 2020 9:39:11 PMTwitter Web App
The coronavirus panic is a fake phenomenon created by the New World Order to disrupt the economy.

It is no worse than regular influenza. The only people who die from it (like the flu) are babies, elderly and those with compromised immune systems
Monday, February 24, 2020 11:22:32 AMTwitter Web App
Alright Cisco, we're going to the moon! Wednesday, February 19, 2020 11:04:50 PMTwitter Web App
Filled out my TPS report for these fucking suits: https://t.co/pxnpGZc5qK Wednesday, February 19, 2020 4:56:16 PMTwitter Web App
I tried to say it was the dog's chair,but they didn't speak English.

mi perra babeaba en mi silla. no es jizz
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, February 19, 2020 2:54:15 PMTwitter Web App
I'm actually mortified rn because the cleaning people started wiping down my papasan chair, which my dog drools all over... And it looks like jizz Wednesday, February 19, 2020 2:51:46 PMTwitter Web App
I just lost it on my gas company because their portal looks like it's from the 90s and they don't support auto pay or paperless billing

Literally forgot to pay a bill because WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T SUPPORT DIRECT DEBIT PAYMENTS IN 2020? https://t.co/Ssy1CODjZF
Monday, February 17, 2020 9:36:21 PMTwitter Web App
.NET assembly binding redirects can suck a mammoth cock Thursday, February 13, 2020 2:48:11 PMTwitter Web App
@cvspharmacy Tell your tech people I went to sign up for an account on https://t.co/GEwpcutTIU and it just hung there forever. But the account was created when I went to log in later. Bad user experience https://t.co/LuFmDdsvB8 Wednesday, February 12, 2020 1:51:26 PMTwitter Web App
@RMerlinDev If budget is not an issue, what is the newest/best ASUS router I could buy, that will have ASUS and Merlin Firmware support for a long time? I want to upgrade my 87U (iOS devices and 5G have been dropping a lot lately) Friday, February 07, 2020 11:38:14 AMTwitter Web App
followed by https://t.co/yUYCCzRu7B Thursday, February 06, 2020 7:51:30 PMTwitter Web App
Commit messages from where I work. This was my commit https://t.co/CS7xloRKf1 Thursday, February 06, 2020 7:49:53 PMTwitter Web App
I don't know wtf a coronavirus is, but this dude can just stay right the fuck in China and never come back home. I don't need this plague in my backyard.

https://t.co/uQMczBnfS9
Sunday, January 26, 2020 9:29:05 PMTwitter Web App
climate change denying cunts @realDonaldTrump @gop
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, January 24, 2020 12:58:01 PMTwitter Web App
No fucking shit. Only snow I've seen all winter was one dusting and January is almost over. The fuck. I love snow

https://t.co/8ronM6h3xa
Friday, January 24, 2020 12:57:34 PMTwitter Web App
5 years ago: "Coconut oil is good! Eat lots of coconut oil in your diet"

Now: "Coconut oil is bad. Don't eat coconut oil"

https://t.co/uBJ10NBJtW
Tuesday, January 21, 2020 5:38:19 PMTwitter Web App
@sadlercj @RMerlinDev I am SO mad I bought the 87U a few years ago... Whatever bullshit chipset they went with, Asus hardly ever updates it. It's always behind Merlin builds because they don't release GPL code for it.

Also drops iOS devices like crazy. No issue with laptops or Androids
In reply to @sadlercj's tweet
Tuesday, January 21, 2020 3:14:18 PMTwitter Web App
A fucking raving lunatic

https://t.co/zklBPz599n
Wednesday, January 15, 2020 1:54:42 PMTwitter Web App
so jelly of this guy's setup. I want to live in a net zero house! https://t.co/d1Lajmisod Thursday, January 09, 2020 3:52:50 PMTwitter Web App
We're drinking our asses off, apparently... https://t.co/yqXCVwpxFU Wednesday, January 08, 2020 11:34:25 PMTwitter Web App
@YouTube @YTCreators @googlephotos

The new Youtube Studio cannot import video from google photos anymore? Looks like the option was removed, and when I try to use the classic uploader, it's broken

Why?! https://t.co/AQsSf3osV6
Friday, December 27, 2019 11:36:49 AMTwitter Web App
dude FUCK RedHat/ CentOS and their FUCKING ANTIQUE packages. Why is it so goddamn convoluted to install Git 2.x https://t.co/R6ISmS9dNp Wednesday, December 18, 2019 3:07:14 PMTwitter Web App
I mean.. let the guy RIP in peace, but if you're an ex NHL player and ended up working physical labor at a paper plant at age 59, you've severely mismanaged your money

https://t.co/gLefBXN91Z
Wednesday, December 18, 2019 11:46:36 AMTwitter Web App
I'm over here with agita all week long, and half the motherfuckers I work with are at AWS in Vegas Wednesday, December 04, 2019 12:39:33 AMTwitter Web App
Man... Twitter threads are confusing as hell. That and the Android app made it seem like my replies weren't going through and then I check again and all my dupes posted. Twitter cray Wednesday, December 04, 2019 12:09:17 AMTwitter Web App
Someone please explain to me why on earth my @myQConnect garage door opener has/needs two IPs assigned to it and why the MAC addresses are unique

CC: @internetofshit https://t.co/oMv0BPVK22
Monday, December 02, 2019 12:01:55 PMTwitter Web App
@ohiochristianal This is a load of crap. This is hatred. Did Jesus judge and hate?
In reply to @ohiochristianal's tweet
Wednesday, November 27, 2019 11:00:17 AMTwitter Web App
One day the sun will swallow the earth so why does anything matter? Thursday, November 21, 2019 5:56:05 PMTwitter Web App
@disneyplus IT IS https://t.co/GLrmL2vcUD
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, November 13, 2019 1:31:02 PMTwitter Web App
One of the devs' harddrives crashed and I spent 5 mins adding way to many Slack emojis to his team message https://t.co/kC2qais4k6 Tuesday, November 12, 2019 1:42:54 PMTwitter Web App
@disneyplus https://t.co/DRCyoBaoHP Tuesday, November 12, 2019 1:15:31 PMTwitter Web App
Pixar's Knick Knack cartoon short better be on @disneyplus because that's my jam Tuesday, November 12, 2019 1:14:53 PMTwitter Web App
The walrus was Paul Tuesday, November 12, 2019 12:52:11 PMTwitter Web App
I just took a piss on a conference call and my headset wasn't muted Thursday, November 07, 2019 11:50:55 AMTwitter Web App
@VenmoSupport Nevermind! Figured it out
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, November 01, 2019 12:34:57 PMTwitter Web App
@VenmoSupport Question on the Android App... I got a new device and do not see each person's payment history. Is that stored locally? Why would this not be restored from your end Friday, November 01, 2019 12:25:37 PMTwitter Web App
Welp. Tried to do a solid and pay the @MTA my $85 toll bill from September, but looks like their inept system won't allow it.

Oh I'm out of state. Try to collect. https://t.co/dOXRPmK1yF
Saturday, October 26, 2019 9:00:15 PMTwitter Web App
Maybe stop doing that and have a couple 1-2-3 innings, eh? Your pitch count is TOO DAMN HIGH
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, October 15, 2019 4:31:44 PMTwitter Web App
I'll take getting out of that jam with just a bad pitch solo shot... Sevy once again pitching in and out of jams and giving me a heart condition over here, just like the ALDS Tuesday, October 15, 2019 4:31:08 PMTwitter Web App
Jesus fuckin Christ, Severino Tuesday, October 15, 2019 4:25:59 PMTwitter Web App
Why do Italian peeps celebrate an Italian dude, sailing for Spain, discovering the island of HISPANOLA (Haiti & the DR)...

"Eheyyyy. A fellow paisan discovered America"
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 14, 2019 12:55:55 PMTwitter Web App
IDK what's more appalling... Her sending me a picture of her animated character on an emoji dick; or celebrating the raping and murdering of indigenous Caribbean peoples
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 14, 2019 12:52:09 PMTwitter Web App
My mom just sent me a bitmoji of her lounging on an eggplant, wishing me a Happy Columbus Day. Monday, October 14, 2019 12:50:47 PMTwitter Web App
Paxton STINKS Sunday, October 13, 2019 8:46:05 PMTwitter Web App