Welp, looks like Dave Robertson is my new closer... I always had a gay for that guy

Friday, May 04, 2012 12:11:27 AM from Twitter for Android

Ah Jesus Christ. I honestly don't think we'll ever see Mo pitch again

Friday, May 04, 2012 12:10:50 AM from Twitter for Android

Meg L sounds so hot on the phone

Thursday, May 03, 2012 03:26:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

My twitter. Cray. I'm a cray.

Thursday, May 03, 2012 08:05:00 AM from Twitter for Android

At least my score's 69. yeah buddy get it

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:40:35 AM from Twitter Web Client

*choking. Fuckin grammar failure and a half tonight. Jesus

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:40:02 AM from Twitter Web Client

Doing realllllll well in fantasy baseball this week, you guys... Where real well = chocking on a barrel of cocks: http://t.co/M3V5RmU

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:39:27 AM from Twitter Web Client

Bitch needs to get laid

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:38:02 AM from Twitter Web Client

Just got an email.. VP of CE at my company is the first person in my life I've ever seen use the word impotent not in reference to a penis.

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:37:54 AM from Twitter Web Client

This British assed train conductor is also the conductor on the 8am train. Wtf.

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:13:36 AM from Twitter for Android

Yes, I re-tweeted myself because I'm a cocky, arrogant prick. Don't like it? Blow me.

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:12:31 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @portfolioso unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:11:16 AM from Twitter for Android

@ShavingFoams no kidding. I went to college once. I was always on the failure side of drunk.

In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:07:35 AM from Twitter for Android

@ShavingFoams unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss.

In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:05:53 AM from Twitter for Android

That time you're obsessed with the bartender and you know she looks innocent but really isnt/a freak but she can't be single bc she's so hot

Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:01:31 AM from Twitter for Android