God miserable damn it with this shit. I'm busy, late to leave, and now the security team pages out to rotate mf'in GitHub secrets that got exposed
Tuesday, April 14, 2026 06:37:42 PM from BlueSky
How come all high school white boys have broccoli heads?
Tuesday, April 14, 2026 10:16:22 AM from BlueSky
Never had the president threatening the pope on my 2026 bingo card...
Monday, April 13, 2026 01:03:06 AM from BlueSky
Mike Pinder always took you on a journey outside your mind, through the solar system, among the stars and back again on a wild roller coaster. What a guy.
Sunday, April 12, 2026 10:46:38 PM from BlueSky
I thought my fantasy baseball team had a little hope this season. I changed my strategy and won the first game. I'm about to have lost weeks 2 and 3 🤷
Team fuckin blows
Sunday, April 12, 2026 09:34:51 PM from BlueSky
I mean... I dreamt one of my starters threw a perfect game and I got 100 points. Thought I had wee 3 in the bag. Then checked and saw my best mfer on the injured list and that it was a fake dream. Fuck off all you hoes
Sunday, April 12, 2026 09:36:29 PM from BlueSky
Can't I catch a fucking break over here? Lost by 3 points last week, and this week, I scored 3rd highest points in the league but happened to match up against one of the two teams that did better. I was predicted to win and didn't. Now I'm predicted to lose next week and probably will.
Sunday, April 12, 2026 09:39:15 PM from BlueSky
Both Netflix and YouTube Music Premium are raising prices and it's going to cost me like $9 more a month for both.
You know who never raised prices ever? Torrents. Free for life.
#StickItToTheMan #EatTheRich #FuckMediaConglomerates
Sunday, April 12, 2026 01:11:48 PM from BlueSky
Dog why were movies so crazy in the 70s. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory flat out absurd. Old Grandpa Joe's sick in bed for 20 years and then he sees Charlie's ticket and suddenly gets up and dances the jig
Saturday, April 11, 2026 08:20:43 PM from BlueSky
Everyone's breaking my balls over here today
Friday, April 10, 2026 01:36:30 PM from BlueSky
Hogwash! My grandpa ate burnt toast all the time. He used to say the charcoal was good for the stomach. Guy lived to 99.
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/apr/07/crispr-gene-edited-wheat-toasted-bread-less-carcinogenic-acrylamide
Tuesday, April 07, 2026 09:09:44 PM from BlueSky
Artemis II astronauts are like: "Thank Christ we left that shithole planet"
Tuesday, April 07, 2026 12:12:09 PM from BlueSky
The trains have been angry the past few nights
Tuesday, April 07, 2026 01:09:30 AM from BlueSky
Here's a video of a cardinal being an aggressive prick in my bird feeder
Monday, April 06, 2026 07:46:52 PM from BlueSky
I have fuckin agita over here. Everything was going fine and then all of a sudden my mom starts shit with wifey and my fucking plumbing company sent me a surprise $500 invoice, 2 months later, for electrical work related to a plumbing install which should have included everything
Monday, April 06, 2026 04:57:25 PM from BlueSky