The US is ranked last in many categories - add assassins to that list. We must have some pretty shitty marksmen around these parts. You mean to tell me three different assassins tried to hit the same motherfucker and they keep missing? 🤣

This is sooo staged it's not even funny.

Sunday, April 26, 2026 09:27:26 PM from BlueSky

A bird just shit on my shoulder

Friday, April 24, 2026 07:45:35 PM from BlueSky

git commit -am "[WIP] Gnome"

Friday, April 24, 2026 04:41:26 PM from BlueSky

These Chinese mfers always looking for trouble. They trying to start a pandemic again with ancient life that'll wipe us out?

Friday, April 24, 2026 03:08:40 PM from BlueSky

Been trying to figure out why I've been 💩 so gd much and it's these healthy peanut butter cups. I can't do Reese's cups. Tastes like shit - they changed the ingredients to pure poison and fuck em for being cheap bastards, so I buy other brands.

But why do they need to put in chicory root fiber?

Thursday, April 23, 2026 11:09:35 PM from BlueSky

So this is where they're gonna get us... Essentially any new model that comes out will have an absurd multiplier

Thursday, April 23, 2026 02:40:11 PM from BlueSky

Chaotic disorganization like my brain without speed, which is all the time

Thursday, April 23, 2026 04:33:43 AM from BlueSky

Usually, you get what you pay for, unless you're the Mets. Highest 2026 payroll in MLB - almost $334 MILLION, and they have the absolute worst record in MLB. Lost 12 straight 🤣

Bunch of jokers

Wednesday, April 22, 2026 12:58:18 PM from BlueSky

I could go for some eggplant rollatini right now

Monday, April 20, 2026 01:13:14 AM from BlueSky

The number of parents who reek of weed at Chuck E Cheese is a lot. Dog, I don't judge but if you want to show up at a kids place high, at least vape or have edibles. Come on now. At least try not to reek of it.

Saturday, April 18, 2026 06:43:14 PM from BlueSky

There's nothing wrong with a K shaped economy for those who are on the upper end of the K

Friday, April 17, 2026 09:47:43 PM from BlueSky

Wifey brought home leftover Mexican from her trip. Probably shouldn't eat a ton of beans before a kid's birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. I'm going to be gassing the place out over there...

Friday, April 17, 2026 09:24:07 PM from BlueSky

I have the worst luck in fantasy baseball with my breakouts. Abel starts the season 0-2 like a jerkoff, so I bench him. Then he throws a gem for 34 while he's on my bench. FFS

Friday, April 17, 2026 10:10:58 AM from BlueSky