@bwilliams: I am going to potato sack your daughter if I ever meet her. http://t.co/xwAbQOO

Monday, June 18, 2012 03:18:00 AM from Twitter Web Client

RT @Colithika: who is dtf?

Monday, June 18, 2012 01:53:41 AM from Twitter for Android

@Colithika hey sexy. Talk dirty to me

Monday, June 18, 2012 01:41:59 AM from Twitter for Android

Some random number I don't recognize just texted me happy father's day. Well I certainly hope not!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012 07:53:49 PM from Twitter for Android

An old abandoned shed http://t.co/7hljr3Y

Sunday, June 17, 2012 06:15:39 PM from Instagram

Grandpa's fly was down. I told him XYZ. He said "that's okay, you have to air it out sometimes"

Sunday, June 17, 2012 05:26:49 PM from Twitter for Android

There is no way in hell that these "CUM 94U" Jersey Plates are random. Some dude 100% requested those.

Sunday, June 17, 2012 12:16:11 PM from Twitter for Android

I just ousted @adrianamorris as the mayor of Admirals Quarters Restaurant on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/cRswFf

Sunday, June 17, 2012 09:57:04 AM from foursquare

This hotel room is an absolute disaster. This will be fun to clean up

Sunday, June 17, 2012 09:08:28 AM from Twitter for Android

It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave and keep on thinking free

Sunday, June 17, 2012 01:54:55 AM from Twitter for Android

Out at dinner. Look at the view, bitches. http://t.co/v5l9sC2

Saturday, June 16, 2012 07:51:59 PM from Instagram

I'm at Duff's On The Lake (Wildwood Crest, NJ) http://4sq.com/MGgKSF

Saturday, June 16, 2012 07:43:57 PM from foursquare

I'd bang you, not you, definitely not you, maybe you and not you.

Saturday, June 16, 2012 05:02:10 PM from Twitter for Android

I wish I could look how I do now at 40

Saturday, June 16, 2012 04:54:48 PM from Twitter for Android

I just asked a shitfaced 65 yr old how old I look and he said 40. Jesus christ.

Saturday, June 16, 2012 04:54:18 PM from Twitter for Android