Just took a gourmet piss. Smelled like butternut squash soup. #fancy #TMI?

Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:11:19 AM from Twitter Web Client

Where the mother fuck is the train? Also, they need another one bc this one is too fucking crowded.

Thursday, June 07, 2012 08:07:14 AM from Twitter for Android

Swear to God, they don't pay me enough for this shit, especially being on call overnight. Requesting a raise. By 35 grand.

Thursday, June 07, 2012 12:49:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

@Novellabella Flash is garbage and it will NEVER be supported on the iPhone. People should stop using Flash

In reply to @Novellabella's tweet

Wednesday, June 06, 2012 08:31:39 PM from Twitter Web Client

Motherfuckers who swipe their metrocard, walk through the turnstyle and then stop/talk so no one else can pass... die.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012 06:49:04 PM from Twitter for Android

Beefer D'reet B'reets

Wednesday, June 06, 2012 02:06:58 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm telling you... ever since college ended the number of train smokes increased exponentially. Interns!!!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012 08:27:55 AM from Twitter for Android

Dibs on this potato sack reading the hunger games.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012 08:26:59 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm at Yankee Stadium for Tampa Bay Rays vs. New York Yankees (Bronx, NY) w/ 244 others http://4sq.com/JJYFTm

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 07:08:30 PM from foursquare

I just unlocked the “Porky” badge on @foursquare for checking in to barbecue spots! Brisket all around! http://4sq.com/MAie7r

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 04:55:06 PM from foursquare

I'm at Brother Jimmy's BBQ (New York, NY) http://4sq.com/MAicwj

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 04:55:06 PM from foursquare

CC has a blackberry? This is bullshit: https://t.co/xwRppNq

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 11:37:17 AM from Twitter Web Client

ALEXEY!!! "So when are you getting laid, Joe? Is like, your family going to find someone?" BAHAHAHAH. Guy's a riot.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 01:12:19 AM from Twitter Web Client

Me: "So Alexey, when you say 'mirror server,' what does it actually do?" Alexey: "It just mirrors shit man... It mirrors shit."

Tuesday, June 05, 2012 12:42:21 AM from Twitter Web Client

Stupid autocorrect

Monday, June 04, 2012 07:06:59 PM from Twitter for Android