Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

An old abandoned shed http://t.co/7hljr3Y

Grandpa's fly was down. I told him XYZ. He said "that's okay, you have to air it out sometimes"

There is no way in hell that these "CUM 94U" Jersey Plates are random. Some dude 100% requested those.

I just ousted @adrianamorris as the mayor of Admirals Quarters Restaurant on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/cRswFf

This hotel room is an absolute disaster. This will be fun to clean up

It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave and keep on thinking free

Out at dinner. Look at the view, bitches. http://t.co/v5l9sC2

I'm at Duff's On The Lake (Wildwood Crest, NJ) http://4sq.com/MGgKSF

I'd bang you, not you, definitely not you, maybe you and not you.

I wish I could look how I do now at 40

I just asked a shitfaced 65 yr old how old I look and he said 40. Jesus christ.

A little buzzed at the pool is ideal bastards

Here's why I'm a motherfuckin boss employee. I'm on vacation at the beach & the servers go down. & I notice faster than the fuckers on call

The girls in room 404 are sooo hot. They think they couldnt't be found but I found them #geekinternetjokes #letsbang

Oh shit. They don't follow me on here, do they?