Who's the dick who put this Apple sticker on my Nexus 7? Pure hypocrisy! http://t.co/oY8eFem

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 04:56:52 PM from Instagram

Who's the dick that burned the popcorn. Now my clothes are going to smell like shit

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 03:18:31 PM from Twitter Web Client

Am I the only person who really couldn't give two shits about the Olympics?

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 01:46:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

On a roll, sons

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:40:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

SQL lips sink ships

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:23:10 PM from Twitter Web Client

@MalJNew Probably because I have been coming in early, so you're obviously avoiding me

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 08:41:20 AM from Twitter Web Client

VP 1 emails me a ridiculous request. I ignore it. CCs VP 2. I answer them both and decline the request. #winning #irunthisbitch

Monday, July 30, 2012 11:15:35 PM from Twitter Web Client

@dannyrob88 Google the translation asshole. Dope Sublime lyrics. I was responding to your 16 year tweet

In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet

Monday, July 30, 2012 05:42:33 PM from Twitter Web Client

@dannyrob88 Me gusta mi reggae. Me gusta punk rock pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita

In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet

Monday, July 30, 2012 04:54:06 PM from Twitter Web Client

Me to my boss: "Well, there are two ways to restart IIS. The right way, and the way we do it" #soghettoaroundhere

Monday, July 30, 2012 03:55:16 PM from Twitter Web Client

I mean, my weekend was wild as fuck, but at least I didn't wake up with shit on my chest @DadBoner

Monday, July 30, 2012 03:33:34 PM from Twitter Web Client

Really shitty Monday. I feel like crap and need to investigate why our servers were more fucked up than I was on Saturday

Monday, July 30, 2012 10:44:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

Mid July bender? I think I blew through $800 cash since the 20th... What are ya gonna do?

Sunday, July 29, 2012 09:02:22 PM from Twitter for Android

My eye stopped twitching all weekend but now it's going nuts again. This is some bullshit

Sunday, July 29, 2012 08:07:41 PM from Twitter for Android

@scoopANDslam ICS is actually excellent. Motorola ruined it with MotoBlur

In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet

Sunday, July 29, 2012 06:13:20 PM from Twitter for Android