Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I know the mirror server has low disk space you fuckin shitpile. Stop texting me about it at 1:30 AM

"So did you have a bad day at work today?" "What day at work?"

I need to stop kicking black people's shoes on the subway. This is the third time I got yelled at. In Bridgeport, I'd get shot

Can I go home now?

Pretty sure my train has a flat tire. Its making me shake like I have Parkinson's and I can't read my phone. I'm also nauseous.

Oh man.. I'm just fuckin breaking balls right now. So fired

But I had a few beers, so I should totally send it! DUH

It's basically me telling one of the VPs who couldn't figure something out why he couldn't because the design team (Michelle) is dumb

Oh man. If I send this email right now, I'm getting fired. But it will point out how fucked up things are.

@kerbear88 my girl cousins fought over the flower all the time when I was a kid and yes, it sucked.

@VtotheFlo (SELECT COUNT * FROM tweet_archive WHERE is_drunk = 1 ) / SELECT COUNT * FROM tweet_archive) * 100

Line here is slower than Alexeys fuckin availability search.

Especially when there's a 76 person Mexican family in front of me

The lines in this bitch ass McDonald's are longer than my dick

RT @DadBoner: Don't understand why some folks hate the gays. They're great at all kindsa things, like friendship, olympic sports, advice ...