Tell this joker to play some biggie

Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:56:54 AM from Twitter for Android

HOLD THE PHONE... the grape doesn't have a fucking trough anymore to piss in? There are urinals now? They've gone soft.

Saturday, August 11, 2012 11:33:32 PM from Twitter for Android

@__JLu get the fuck out if here. I'm at the shack

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Saturday, August 11, 2012 08:54:19 PM from Twitter for Android

Haliskoe: "Good news. In the state of Connecticut, its not considered drunk driving if your OnStar is sober"

Saturday, August 11, 2012 05:59:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Joe.... well as long as you black out well....

Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:59:14 AM from Twitter for Android

I don't know why this fuckin garlic smelly motherfucker has to come sit up my ass in a two seater when there's an empty seat across from me

Friday, August 10, 2012 08:05:15 AM from Twitter for Android

These fools would be dead in the water without me. I can do anything I want. #runthisbitch

Friday, August 10, 2012 02:23:23 AM from Twitter Web Client

12:50AM Time for be.... Wait. I have to do server maintenance. API keys don't change themselves, you guys

Friday, August 10, 2012 12:51:01 AM from Twitter Web Client

@Colithika YES.

In reply to @Colithika's tweet

Friday, August 10, 2012 12:01:20 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @nyJULZmd: dog http://t.co/pO8CWvbn

Thursday, August 09, 2012 09:45:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Track 42? That even exists? Fuckin like.. .west bumblefuck in grand central

Thursday, August 09, 2012 08:29:32 PM from Twitter for Android

I don't understand why hipsters have iPhones.Too mainstream

Thursday, August 09, 2012 05:10:34 PM from Twitter Web Client

Overheard on the street: "My big kitty book is SOOOO much better than Ashley's beaver?"

Thursday, August 09, 2012 02:17:51 PM from Twitter for Android

bunch of pussies here with their lactose intolerance and peanut allergies. be a man and eat fuckin whatever

Thursday, August 09, 2012 11:58:38 AM from Twitter Web Client

@MalJNew QA team is protesting and working through the meeting. Also, I get free food which is one of the only things that makes me smile

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Thursday, August 09, 2012 07:43:15 AM from Twitter for Android