Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I think I should be ripping ass into balloons and selling them as exploding pranks

As the Mover would say, I'm gassy as a bastard

I highly recommend listening to 2 minutes of @BadPointer trying to convince me to fuck a bear: http://t.co/ADjzumI

Who else thinks its a good idea to fart onto one of those DEP air sensors they have in Grant Central? Wonder if it'll set off some alarm...

I'm pretty sure I ate like 7 pounds of food. #fatfuck

Aww I found a baby snake

@LennonImagine you're a b for seeing Jack White. Let's hope he puts on a show longer than 40 mins

Everyone is recommending that you don’t fuck the bear because that bear is hungry as fuck and will fuck you up!

RT @Fantasy_Mania: that outfield fly rule was about as vile as a @portfolioso tweet...

Whose dick do I have to suck to send a motherless picture message up in these fuckin boonies upstate

New blog post: Is This The Best Voicemail Ever, or is this the Best Voicemail Ever? http://bit.ly/Qyc8Tm

For your viewing pleasure: Gallons of cow pus: http://t.co/6nm537l

I am intrigued by the fact that I just shit out a completely undigested blueberry I apparently swallowed whole.

The mover, circa 1945: "HEY RED!!!!"

Fuck. Tired. Can I take a nap now?