Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I made a bet... if my team wins, we bang. If your team wins, we bang. Win win.

Illegal use of hands? That sounds like me in college

Stephieeeeeeee.... ... Giants/browns with a Browns fan who made poor life decisions @MalJNew

Whoa. whoa. Whoa. Whoa... There's a synagogue in the South Bronx? But why?! There can't be more than 3 Jews there.

Tremont and Melrose are the biggest horse shit local time wasting stops ever.

It's 49 degrees. I think I'll get an iced coffee because, ya know.... Fuck the norm

Has anyone else ripped ass mid tweet, because I just did this now...

Four out of my last five tweets are about my farts (including this one) #girlsdontfart

I think I should be ripping ass into balloons and selling them as exploding pranks

As the Mover would say, I'm gassy as a bastard

I highly recommend listening to 2 minutes of @BadPointer trying to convince me to fuck a bear: http://t.co/ADjzumI

Who else thinks its a good idea to fart onto one of those DEP air sensors they have in Grant Central? Wonder if it'll set off some alarm...

I'm pretty sure I ate like 7 pounds of food. #fatfuck

Aww I found a baby snake

@LennonImagine you're a b for seeing Jack White. Let's hope he puts on a show longer than 40 mins