Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

This useless machine is the coolest thing ever! Bring me one for Christmas: http://t.co/FoKYY10

My dad just photobombed some game show. He's legit in the background making goofball faces. Absolutely hysterical. Attaboy pops!

I still promise my twitter will remain crazy as fuck. People like that shit. #ass #titties #bangbang #struttin #unicorns

Oh and the wallet is full too. Another perk

What the fuck is going on. Am I recovering from my past crazy alcoholic ways? Only had 2 drinks all night and had fun anyway

Did anyone else fold dollar bills in a way as a kid so it spelled out tits?

"I'm buying some new kicks because my kicks is busted"

That tequila is like Jesus peed in a cup

"If TK had a house party, I'd leave her an upper decker"

Gio: "Holy shit. Her ass is too low. How do you fuck that?"

gassy as a bastard

I'm sorry, but George W. Bush's daughters are really hot.

Some herb would sort this all out... You know... "Chamomile tea"

Yes. Puking in a bag during the lunch hour rush while sober is a great look for me.

Think I have a little stomach bug. Ripped ass at desk. Fucking vile. I'm going home.