Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

This is the slowest fuckin deli guy ever.

RT @UberFacts: Pumbaa from "The Lion King" was the first character to fart in a Disney movie.

Omg. I want to sleep on this train and I have a loud fuckin guy babbling on español. Cállate la boca ya fuckin clown

@michellemm22 I think my cousin did, but I'll have to ask. 2nd bday party.

@MalJNew I'm sitting in the corner with the mover and we're both sneaking them out

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Vito: "My doctor asked me if I want a Cialis. I said yeah but who's Alice?"

@Lennon just noticed now. Can't help it. My tweets have no filter. Didn't mean it badly

Successful night on Twitter. Reread my tweets tonight and if I were a random stranger, I'd think: "What a cool dude. I'd bang him."

North Korea is best Korea. Just like drunk tweets are best tweets.

Cisco's gf said I was funny. I asked her "whatdda ya mean funny? Funny how" #goodfellas

@MalJNew Get away from my man. Only I van fuck him sideways up down left and right. Not you

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Just sexted @colithika: "Throw mother fuckin back. Pussy hot sluts bang bang skeet skeet"

"How does it feel?" Me: "It'll feel better when I hold you down on your bed"

To the cunt on this train who said she'd rather die than smell my McDonalds: I hope you off yourself from anorexia