Drunk tweets are best tweets

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:36:40 PM from Twitter for Android

Im not even from dirty jerz but fuck. He's a dood to cheers to. Love him or hate him. Democrat or Republican. he's so fat it doesn't matter.

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:32:53 PM from Twitter for Android

Vajay jay

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:30:45 PM from Twitter for Android

Spent my entire night cheersing to that fat fuck.

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:30:35 PM from Twitter for Android

Bah seriously though. This Haitian cabbie dude was the jolliest. Cheers to him and governor Chris Christie

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:30:02 PM from Twitter for Android

I'd be able to DDD Uus home tonight

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:28:53 PM from Twitter for Android

For ducks sake. Actual txt from me to my dude: "Jesus Daniel. She told you siiem dirt. Ya. Mighta been true. Was whatevsr"

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:23:52 PM from Twitter for Android

This isn't going to go well on the subway. Aka we might get video'd on barstool for banging

Monday, January 14, 2013 09:46:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Heavy drinking. This is exactly what I needed after a 2 hr. call with Alexey that accomplished absolutely nothing

Monday, January 14, 2013 09:07:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Do cows give birth standing up?

Monday, January 14, 2013 08:39:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Alexey is absolutely batshit right now

Monday, January 14, 2013 06:03:19 PM from Twitter Web Client

Depending upon if they decide to give me a review and make some adjustments, I may or may not have a scheduled sick day next Friday. Enjoy

Monday, January 14, 2013 03:37:41 PM from Twitter Web Client

Hannah is a gross http://t.co/hN2UieM #GetGlue @girlsHBO

Sunday, January 13, 2013 10:06:01 PM from GetGlue.com

Gonna try to poop before her roommate comes home and yells at me. #scaredshitlessofherroomie

Sunday, January 13, 2013 07:37:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Dem titties

Sunday, January 13, 2013 06:51:16 PM from Twitter for Android