AHHHHHHHHH... Your mother's sandy.... Who's the dick who didn't install SQL Server Enterprise. Standard is for pussies.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 03:21:58 PM from Twitter Web Client
Okay. You're gonna have to stop biting your lip before I bang you in public.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 03:01:45 PM from Twitter for Android
I think the popularity of my banana phone crashed Instagram and Amazon S3
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 02:27:58 PM from Twitter for Android
@kerbear88 What'd you get?
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 02:13:20 PM from Twitter Web Client
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Banana phone! @ Booker http://t.co/VO1VzEQ
Deat MTA alerts. I could give a fuck that your traintime app is down. Stop emailing me every 5 minutes and actually fix it. Wastes
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 09:51:56 AM from Twitter Web Client
Just dutch ovened myself. Wasn't terrible
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 02:06:23 AM from Twitter for Android
How you know I'm a fat fuck: I just snapped a metal wheel in two on my rolling chair because I was leaning in one direction on it.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 01:48:31 AM from Twitter Web Client
I'm such a data nerd... My most tweets I've ever sent in one month were 304 in May 2012
Monday, February 04, 2013 08:31:24 PM from Twitter Web Client
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Just downloaded my whole tweet archive from twitter. Now to import the ones I missed into my app...
Monday, February 04, 2013 08:09:06 PM from Twitter Web Client
Is it me, or is Firefox a hideous piece of shit?
Monday, February 04, 2013 04:41:36 PM from Twitter Web Client
@kerbear88 Fuck those trains. Jammed like crazy this morning and all delayed. If you rely on the 4/5/6 trains, you made poor life decisions.
Monday, February 04, 2013 10:00:11 AM from Twitter Web Client
Congrats, homeskillet. @Onethirdof3x5
Sunday, February 03, 2013 10:48:04 PM from Twitter for Android
Three halves equal a whole and a half
Sunday, February 03, 2013 10:23:03 PM from Twitter for Android
A Catholic black Irishman with the name Hassan...
Sunday, February 03, 2013 09:14:12 PM from Twitter for Android