Yo Scott. Sorry I falsely accused you of dropping acid last time we were at Dakota

Friday, March 01, 2013 09:49:56 PM from Twitter for Android

That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose.

Friday, March 01, 2013 05:52:10 PM from Twitter for Android

That fuckin Cuban food is already going through me like shit through a goose.

Friday, March 01, 2013 04:34:21 PM from Twitter Web Client

I am not a fan of anything today

Friday, March 01, 2013 04:25:49 PM from Twitter Web Client

This dudes breath smells like a rotting fetus corpse.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 07:31:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Niraj just asked me if I was hungover, based on just looks.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 09:33:13 AM from Twitter Web Client

But he's cool and yeah buddy!!!!!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 11:45:41 PM from Twitter for Android

My new boss is the coolest bestest gayest. No wonder @MalJNew adored him instantly. He acted less gay in his interview than he actually was.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 11:45:21 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm actually in awe at how fucking bad Manhattan is still destroyed by Sandy. I'm by the seaport. Place is fucked. Had no clue

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 09:56:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Derick on me: "He's peaceful until he's drunk. Then he goes to town on ass"

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 09:08:32 PM from Twitter for Android

Purim? Drink until you don't know the difference? Come on. I didn't know the difference between a high five and an ass slap on that barcrawl

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 09:03:01 PM from Twitter for Android

#abuserslist @__jlu http://t.co/sksMWWawra

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 08:41:30 PM from Instagram

That time you need to admit to the CTO that 3/4 servers were out of the load balancing pool and the remaining one was at 100% CPU :/

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 04:55:13 PM from Twitter Web Client

@Fantasy_Mania Wanna do some dudes?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013 09:55:22 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just observed my ass in the mirror and it was excellent. Which reminds me that I shouldn't have a daughter.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013 09:55:07 PM from Twitter Web Client