My piss is so clear, I bet if you analyze it, it would be less polluted than the water supply in Bangledesh.
For fucks sake. The second time in two weeks our entire fucking app crashed while I was at lunch.
On my 5th pint of water. Decided to flush out the system. Can't stand running to the pisser every 4 seconds.
It's nametag week here at work. Natalia drew one with swirls, orange snowflakes and rainbow hearts and said her nametag was an acid trip
Welp no wonder everyone says this bitch smells. She's eating 500 sprigs of asparagus... Piss could probably wake the dead.
maljnew got a puppy! http://instagr.am/p/WZ0s39pBak/
I love to eat poop!
Saturday, March 02, 2013 03:01:17 PM from Twitter for Android
That time you go to the bar and every fucking person leaves you. I look so cool here alone. #eatadick
Saturday, March 02, 2013 02:32:06 AM from Twitter for Android
Everyone can read me like a book. If I'm pissed, there's no hiding it
Saturday, March 02, 2013 02:25:38 AM from Twitter for Android
When I have my millions I'm fuckin buying the watering hole. And I might open a gay bar in Astoria. They need one. It would make bank.
Saturday, March 02, 2013 01:06:44 AM from Twitter for Android
For the first time ever, someone else is leaking ass at this bar. Not that i do that in public. Might puke.
Saturday, March 02, 2013 01:01:35 AM from Twitter for Android
@MalJNew just caught me looking at myself in the mirror. I mean. I'm fuckin hot. And a narcissist. #blowme if you don't like it
Saturday, March 02, 2013 12:38:06 AM from Twitter for Android
Great crowd at Watering tonight
The chef at the Watering Hole reminds me of Chalky White