Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I'm actually in awe at how fucking bad Manhattan is still destroyed by Sandy. I'm by the seaport. Place is fucked. Had no clue

Derick on me: "He's peaceful until he's drunk. Then he goes to town on ass"

Purim? Drink until you don't know the difference? Come on. I didn't know the difference between a high five and an ass slap on that barcrawl

That time you need to admit to the CTO that 3/4 servers were out of the load balancing pool and the remaining one was at 100% CPU :/

@Fantasy_Mania Wanna do some dudes?

Just observed my ass in the mirror and it was excellent. Which reminds me that I shouldn't have a daughter.

Fuckin hicks: http://t.co/c8IxL0w3VE I didn't know they had internet in West Virginia.

Fuckin @newrelic... Took me fuckin 2 hours to get our .NET ,onitoring back up

This gentleman is bitching on the phone about his review and he wouldn't stay even if they offered him 400k

Jesus Christ.I feel like I'm back at Eastchester High School with this #jazzco

I'm watching The Oscars (23300 others checked-in) http://t.co/MMKX6PG4XJ #GetGlue @TheAcademy

Lol everyone thinks I looks Jewish. I mean yes. I know my hair curls. Also, wanna check my penis?

Seth MacFarlane can talk like Brian to Mal and Jennifer Lawrence can shoot arrows at me (and miss on purpose) and it would be the hottest.

I made a deal. Mal can bang Seth MacFarlane if I can bang Jennifer Lawrence. He can talk Brian to her and shit