Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

@kerbear88 @ky9 fucking FUSA dropping the ball again with no name assed concerts. Mirror > FUSA. (Well the Mirror we ran. New mirror sucks.)

HERP DERP: "Any downtime on production is bad" -Jeans. Ya think?

Gotta stop reading work emails when I get up because I want to fucking murder the entire infrastructure team. Except Kevin. He's coo

O.M.G. This meteor MUST hit mars: http://t.co/v6e4ZkhcaQ

@Lennon @MalJNew Lennon, don't demo the API. That shit crashes every 38 fucking seconds.

In reply to @Lennon's tweet

This water shit fills you up. Maybe I should do this instead of stuffing my fat face.

My piss is so clear, I bet if you analyze it, it would be less polluted than the water supply in Bangledesh.

For fucks sake. The second time in two weeks our entire fucking app crashed while I was at lunch.

On my 5th pint of water. Decided to flush out the system. Can't stand running to the pisser every 4 seconds.

It's nametag week here at work. Natalia drew one with swirls, orange snowflakes and rainbow hearts and said her nametag was an acid trip

Welp no wonder everyone says this bitch smells. She's eating 500 sprigs of asparagus... Piss could probably wake the dead.

I love to eat poop!

That time you go to the bar and every fucking person leaves you. I look so cool here alone. #eatadick