I am the absolute gassiest right now

Monday, March 18, 2013 09:59:41 AM from Twitter Web Client

My mouth is drier than TK's vagina right now

Sunday, March 17, 2013 12:36:39 AM from Twitter for Android

St paddy's 2013! http://t.co/NCFHBKeXtE

Saturday, March 16, 2013 11:17:18 PM from Instagram

"As creepy as it sounds, my grandpas let's are so hot"

Saturday, March 16, 2013 11:10:28 PM from Twitter for Android

@kellyomealia @kerbear88 @scoopANDslam you bitches still out?

Saturday, March 16, 2013 08:29:51 PM from Twitter for Android

So basically I just learned that if a chick is biting her lip she's actually thinking how hard he wants to fuck you

Saturday, March 16, 2013 02:41:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Pandora spelled paddy's patty's wtf

Saturday, March 16, 2013 02:30:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Hot http://t.co/ZQtXUhRlln

Saturday, March 16, 2013 02:05:53 PM from Instagram

So I was browsing through Facebook and wanted to like some status and realized I've already liked it yesterday. Didnt know. Was so out of it

Saturday, March 16, 2013 01:13:11 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just got drunk and bought http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV

Saturday, March 16, 2013 12:48:51 PM from Twitter Web Client

Its almost 11 and we don't have any Jameson in us. This is a problem

Saturday, March 16, 2013 10:49:09 AM from Twitter for Android

I just ousted Peter S. as the mayor of Jannah Charcoal & Grill on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9Ux2Zn

Saturday, March 16, 2013 12:03:11 AM from foursquare

I don't judge by I mean.. Shit

Friday, March 15, 2013 11:11:21 PM from Twitter for Android

@Lennon so turn him straight duh.

In reply to @Lennon's tweet

Friday, March 15, 2013 11:02:06 PM from Twitter for Android

"Tad drunk, still at work and Natalia wanted to know if we wanted to have a sausage party"

Friday, March 15, 2013 11:01:45 PM from Twitter for Android