Halooooo

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 08:40:08 PM from Twitter for Android

Tess straight up looks 18 years old today. And that's a compliment

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 04:31:16 PM from Twitter Web Client

Thank you.... Sluggers. Thank you Frick. Thank you Frack

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 08:22:12 AM from Twitter for Android

Was nice and held a door for someone. Didn't thank me. Was still behind me at a second door. Made sure it slammed in her face.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 08:07:11 AM from Twitter for Android

Welp, passed out at 9:30 for the first time since like 3rd grade....

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 04:20:08 AM from Twitter for Android

Alexey on protein shakes: "They all eat this powdered shit"

Tuesday, March 26, 2013 04:48:12 AM from Twitter Web Client

Alexey, on a good workout: "You pour some liquor in a glass and repeat"

Tuesday, March 26, 2013 04:47:56 AM from Twitter Web Client

I will bang Dave Grohl: http://t.co/uIcFfsQ1vs

Monday, March 25, 2013 10:12:29 PM from Twitter Web Client

@MalJNew @BadPointer http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Monday, March 25, 2013 09:44:34 PM from Twitter for Android

Two things. Not sure if the conductor checked my ticket and.. Shit I forgot

Monday, March 25, 2013 09:31:16 PM from Twitter for Android

JOE! You are picking at your elbow through your ripped shirt. You're a CRAY!!! -@MalJNew

Monday, March 25, 2013 08:32:08 PM from Twitter for Android

♪ Payback's a motherfuckin bitch but I won't stress and I won't switch ♪

Monday, March 25, 2013 05:25:48 PM from Twitter Web Client

10 hours before rollout, our Director of software engineering wanted to know if there was a release tonight. For fuck's sake.

Monday, March 25, 2013 01:50:01 PM from Twitter Web Client

This Pete Ellis 80s used car commercial is cracking me the fuck up: http://t.co/NWWaOdAUSf

Monday, March 25, 2013 01:26:06 PM from Twitter Web Client

Never use half assed shipping (FedEx SmartPost). If you're not there, they hand your shit off to USPS after one try and you have to pick up

Monday, March 25, 2013 09:56:26 AM from Twitter Web Client