Girlies poundin chicken wings makes my dick enormmm

Saturday, March 30, 2013 06:38:43 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh this girl. Many months ago I tried to forgive her but she decided to still be a cunt.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 02:39:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh shit

Saturday, March 30, 2013 02:27:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Breakfast of champions: Champagne and Doritos!

Saturday, March 30, 2013 10:31:41 AM from Twitter for Android

I apologize in advance for today's future drunk tweets.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 09:46:52 AM from Twitter for Android

I've just been told I talk about the system in my sleep... This is quite concerning.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 08:12:58 AM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew are ya done yet?

Friday, March 29, 2013 11:03:01 PM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew your dick is the tiniest. Microscopic kidney bean

Friday, March 29, 2013 11:01:21 PM from Twitter for Android

If you come up to my desk and say "config file" expect me to know what the fuck you're talking about

Friday, March 29, 2013 04:07:34 PM from Twitter Web Client

25 mins late, 10 minutes late from lunch. This is me caring

Friday, March 29, 2013 03:10:16 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm always here before my boss. The one day I come in late, he's hear early on a call.

Friday, March 29, 2013 09:25:29 AM from Twitter Web Client

Lol my last like 5 tweets were like... let's be honest

Thursday, March 28, 2013 11:01:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Hiii people :-)

Thursday, March 28, 2013 11:00:38 PM from Twitter for Android

Xtina is my FAVORITE lesbian ever!

Thursday, March 28, 2013 09:38:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Just told my old boss I felt some sort of way

Thursday, March 28, 2013 09:36:58 PM from Twitter for Android