Is it racist if you tell a black person they got a tan after coming back from Jamaica? Because I just did that.

Monday, April 01, 2013 09:22:30 AM from Twitter Web Client

Welp, I guess Game of Thrones was on tonight. How did I know?

Sunday, March 31, 2013 11:42:07 PM from Twitter Web Client

sanguinaccio = pigs blood and chocolate pudding. Uhhhhhmmmm

Sunday, March 31, 2013 09:51:42 PM from Twitter for Android

Mover just beat me 635-600 in cards. What a game.

Sunday, March 31, 2013 09:44:08 PM from Twitter for Android

1) Not sure how I was with it enough to make it all the way "upstate" last night 2) I sexted @Colithika the craziest shit

Sunday, March 31, 2013 08:31:36 AM from Twitter for Android

Her 4th chin was cool but her 5th was being a dick

Saturday, March 30, 2013 06:46:00 PM from Twitter for Android

Fuck off cunt. Girls a biddy

Saturday, March 30, 2013 06:45:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Girlies poundin chicken wings makes my dick enormmm

Saturday, March 30, 2013 06:38:43 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh this girl. Many months ago I tried to forgive her but she decided to still be a cunt.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 02:39:41 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh shit

Saturday, March 30, 2013 02:27:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Breakfast of champions: Champagne and Doritos!

Saturday, March 30, 2013 10:31:41 AM from Twitter for Android

I apologize in advance for today's future drunk tweets.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 09:46:52 AM from Twitter for Android

I've just been told I talk about the system in my sleep... This is quite concerning.

Saturday, March 30, 2013 08:12:58 AM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew are ya done yet?

Friday, March 29, 2013 11:03:01 PM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew your dick is the tiniest. Microscopic kidney bean

Friday, March 29, 2013 11:01:21 PM from Twitter for Android