Lol. Asian woman trying to parallel park

Saturday, April 13, 2013 10:59:55 AM from Twitter for Android

My boy Mohammed is back in his food cart and he's awesome!

Friday, April 12, 2013 09:53:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Really? 12 digit password limit? For fucks sake

Friday, April 12, 2013 08:45:03 PM from Twitter Web Client

Jesus Fucking Christ. No wonder my dudes Pearl Jam hated mother fucking TicketMaster. Fuck the Yankees for going with those bitches

Friday, April 12, 2013 08:43:09 PM from Twitter Web Client

Ticketmaster and the NY Mets assed 95 year old NY Yankkes can suck my dick

Friday, April 12, 2013 08:32:32 PM from Twitter Web Client

Ah shit. I need to check in code and update a ticket. Had some burrrrrs. Hope I don;t fuck it up

Friday, April 12, 2013 07:39:28 PM from Twitter Web Client

Since when did I become a fucking lightweight. Like 3 IPAs and I'm silly

Friday, April 12, 2013 06:48:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AT THIS SHIT FUCKING HOLE #BOOKER

Friday, April 12, 2013 01:14:44 PM from Twitter Web Client

This feedly bug drives me batshit: http://t.co/OADtZ2Xzj0

Friday, April 12, 2013 04:47:40 AM from Twitter Web Client

Googled the names of some of the new hires and found arrests. The fuck kind of assholes don't check for this shit...

Friday, April 12, 2013 03:48:26 AM from Twitter Web Client

Watching a DB shrink has got to be the most boring fucking thing ever. It's 3:30 AM. I need to get my life together

Friday, April 12, 2013 03:34:28 AM from Twitter Web Client

This database is taking fucking years to restore. Bitch ass trick

Friday, April 12, 2013 01:38:12 AM from Twitter Web Client

The fuck is this bullshit... Windows 8 equivalent of a BSOD http://t.co/xlFCBhywPF

Friday, April 12, 2013 01:16:45 AM from Twitter for Android

@__JLu lol caught me. Got drunk one day and bought that and didn't want to put my real info.

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Thursday, April 11, 2013 10:33:14 PM from Twitter for Android

@portfolioso lol caught me. Got drunk one day and bought that and didn't want to put my real info.

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Thursday, April 11, 2013 10:30:54 PM from Twitter for Android