Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Thanks for the drink assistance at the bar, @MalJNew. Those tits are reallll useful for getting the bartender's attention

@MarkAbsher @MalJNew good times! Cray times!

This actually made me laugh outloud for like 30 seconds. Yes, I know I'm unstable: http://t.co/AOOuwwiau3

Watching our VP of Finance trying to use a NERF gun is something special...

Need a Dramamine for this train. I've been on ships that rocked less. Fuck this commute and the MTA

"I mean if getting shitfaced and grabbing your girlfriends ass makes you an embarrassment then Im an absolute fucking disgrace" @KFCBarstool

Relief... Floating in a stream

#booker: This will be me from now on: http://t.co/1ktWT9i5E8

Looking back at yesterday's tweets, I was fuckin off the wall. I'm chill today. Let's keep it like that. It's better for everyone

Thank you barstool for that face down ass up article that popped into my newsfeed as my boss walked over... thanks

I mean... I don't think that request was out of line. This was the third time she turned off pearl jam.

Cunt bartender yelled at me when I gave her shit for turning off pearl jam. She can eat a bag of dicks. No more tips.

Cunts

"When you give a shit, you look like a fuckin lunatic" -Derick