I am the gassiest. And I have 2 Mexican/drinking parties este fin de semana. What's the over/under I end up shitting myself?

Friday, May 03, 2013 04:18:19 PM from Twitter Web Client

@tomwcleary Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You mean to tell me Bridgeport made it all the way to May without any homicides? #notevenremotelypossible

Friday, May 03, 2013 02:15:06 PM from Twitter for Android

@MalJNew the QA intern who's trying to bang Polina

In reply to @MalJNew's tweet

Friday, May 03, 2013 01:16:19 PM from Twitter Web Client

#eltres (@ Booker w/ @micheljam @rachellauren19) http://4sq.com/18hZq4J

Friday, May 03, 2013 12:09:34 PM from foursquare

Actual Hughlon quote on Skype: "Please tell this fuking guy to shut the fuk up over here"

Friday, May 03, 2013 11:28:59 AM from Twitter Web Client

Not sure what's fucked up more... Bynes or the build success rate for QA

Friday, May 03, 2013 10:11:17 AM from Twitter Web Client

Hughlon is a God Damn Baller

Friday, May 03, 2013 09:41:50 AM from Twitter Web Client

Christ. Breath live at state college just came on and GOD damn it Mike McCready can play a guitar

Thursday, May 02, 2013 09:25:05 PM from Twitter for Android

@XtinaSchelin I thought you hated virtualbox... All the kids use VMWare

In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet

Thursday, May 02, 2013 09:23:28 PM from Twitter for Android

Only three types of farts possible on the train: Silent but deadly, loud & deadly and just plain loud. You'll never sneak em...

Thursday, May 02, 2013 09:20:29 PM from Twitter for Android

There is NO way I fit into this small assed t shirt..

Thursday, May 02, 2013 05:02:30 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm fat

Thursday, May 02, 2013 11:08:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

Ummm. Not sure how I should take this but @MalJNew just called me a lesbian. Hhhhh

Tuesday, April 30, 2013 10:25:34 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm really curious on where the word cocky came from... Like... "Here's how awesome my huge dick is. Enjoy it" is LITERALLY cocky.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013 08:28:46 PM from Twitter for Android

New work meme: #eltres
(for the Tres de Mayo shitshow)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013 05:40:52 PM from Twitter Web Client