Aunt: "She does shit... She's a lazy bitch"

Sunday, May 12, 2013 08:38:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Happy Mother's Day all you mothers.

Sunday, May 12, 2013 08:28:14 PM from Twitter for Android

My aunt: "My daughter brought me kale chips, kale sister's ass... I'm sick of kale."

Sunday, May 12, 2013 08:27:43 PM from Twitter for Android

Dude who just got off this train is 100% Draco Malfoy.

Sunday, May 12, 2013 11:01:09 AM from Twitter for Android

@kerbear88 enjoyyyyyyyyy. Not gonna make it over. Cya next time

In reply to @kerbear88's tweet

Saturday, May 11, 2013 10:36:31 PM from Twitter for Android

We don't need no MetroCard we taking cabs home cabs cabs home

Saturday, May 11, 2013 09:11:54 PM from Twitter for Android

Ordered a Philly cheasesteak.. Was nom. Then I ordered sliders. I'm a fatty

Saturday, May 11, 2013 08:08:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Me to C.J... "she loooooves meat"

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:47:15 PM from Twitter for Android

I want Yuri tending my bar.... This is bullshit

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:43:14 PM from Twitter for Android

I think my tolerance is through the roof. Because I can drink all day and never feel hammered

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:42:11 PM from Twitter for Android

I want Woody's in my mouth

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:02:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh app4 is down? Good. I'd fix it but you said i needed more experience and don't pay me fairly so I'm out drinking instead. Eat a dick

Saturday, May 11, 2013 06:17:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, our system crashed today and I didn't fix it nor give a fuck. When they want to be fair to me, I'll care again.

Saturday, May 11, 2013 05:53:09 PM from Twitter for Android

Some dude just took a picture of three dudes at the urinal in the passed. Wtf

Saturday, May 11, 2013 05:51:46 PM from Twitter for Android

"Its been a long time since I've seen an Asian bouncer" -Joel

Saturday, May 11, 2013 04:56:02 PM from Twitter for Android