I want Yuri tending my bar.... This is bullshit

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:43:14 PM from Twitter for Android

I think my tolerance is through the roof. Because I can drink all day and never feel hammered

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:42:11 PM from Twitter for Android

I want Woody's in my mouth

Saturday, May 11, 2013 07:02:23 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh app4 is down? Good. I'd fix it but you said i needed more experience and don't pay me fairly so I'm out drinking instead. Eat a dick

Saturday, May 11, 2013 06:17:17 PM from Twitter for Android

Also, our system crashed today and I didn't fix it nor give a fuck. When they want to be fair to me, I'll care again.

Saturday, May 11, 2013 05:53:09 PM from Twitter for Android

Some dude just took a picture of three dudes at the urinal in the passed. Wtf

Saturday, May 11, 2013 05:51:46 PM from Twitter for Android

"Its been a long time since I've seen an Asian bouncer" -Joel

Saturday, May 11, 2013 04:56:02 PM from Twitter for Android

Thanks for the drink assistance at the bar, @MalJNew. Those tits are reallll useful for getting the bartender's attention

Saturday, May 11, 2013 04:38:14 PM from Twitter for Android

@MarkAbsher @MalJNew good times! Cray times!

In reply to @MarkAbsher's tweet

Saturday, May 11, 2013 11:11:15 AM from Twitter for Android

This actually made me laugh outloud for like 30 seconds. Yes, I know I'm unstable: http://t.co/AOOuwwiau3

Friday, May 10, 2013 11:27:00 AM from Twitter Web Client

Watching our VP of Finance trying to use a NERF gun is something special...

Friday, May 10, 2013 09:23:42 AM from Twitter Web Client

Need a Dramamine for this train. I've been on ships that rocked less. Fuck this commute and the MTA

Friday, May 10, 2013 08:06:50 AM from Twitter for Android

"I mean if getting shitfaced and grabbing your girlfriends ass makes you an embarrassment then Im an absolute fucking disgrace" @KFCBarstool

Thursday, May 09, 2013 04:50:09 PM from Twitter for Android

Relief... Floating in a stream

Thursday, May 09, 2013 04:29:34 PM from Twitter for Android

#booker: This will be me from now on: http://t.co/1ktWT9i5E8

Thursday, May 09, 2013 09:47:41 AM from Twitter Web Client