I see Texiera is back. His vagina healed nicely.

Friday, May 31, 2013 07:43:08 PM from Twitter for Android

This dude Tun Tun just walked over to me to tell me he was going to Skype me, sat down, and then Skyped me #craycray

Friday, May 31, 2013 04:56:58 PM from Twitter Web Client

Mal: "My dress had stains on it yesterday"
Aniusha: "Were they cum stains?"

Friday, May 31, 2013 03:20:43 PM from Twitter Web Client

gassy as a bastard

Friday, May 31, 2013 03:20:18 PM from Twitter Web Client

Aniusha: "Players talking about sticking needles through your dick and shit"

Friday, May 31, 2013 02:50:09 PM from Twitter for Android

It's 10:48 in the morning and the day before my birthday. It's unacceptable that the office keg was STILL not replaced.

Friday, May 31, 2013 10:51:16 AM from Twitter Web Client

Fuck the fuckin 4/5 train in the ass with a chainsaw

Friday, May 31, 2013 09:30:38 AM from Twitter for Android

Welp. Didn't fart or poop myself on this train home #greatsuccess

Friday, May 31, 2013 01:10:55 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm gonna get drunk tomorrow and call Eric a cuntmunch

Friday, May 31, 2013 01:03:57 AM from Twitter for Android

Yo. Had a draft of a tweet that made no sense. Don't even know what I was trying to say

Friday, May 31, 2013 12:48:43 AM from Twitter for Android

@thomaswood http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV #metsaretheworst

In reply to @thomaswood's tweet

Friday, May 31, 2013 12:33:03 AM from Twitter for Android

Since when does the lower lever of GCT close early. This is bullshit. Ima piss all over the train bc they suck

Friday, May 31, 2013 12:12:15 AM from Twitter for Android

Mad po po in this station. Safe. Yeahhhhh buddy

Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:50:00 PM from Twitter for Android

Julissa was like "GIOOOO how'd you get that tan" and I was like "Went to Vegas bro"

Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:16:55 PM from Twitter for Android

@KFCBarstool eat a dick. Mets always have and always will suck.

In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet

Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:41:14 PM from Twitter for Android