I'm very disappointed how my twitter is less batshit crazy than it used to be. #maybeitprobablystillis I'll improve after 10,000

Friday, July 12, 2013 02:09:49 AM from Twitter Web Client

Wasn't aware of #SharkNado tonight. My life is now over.

Friday, July 12, 2013 01:52:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

We hope Verizon doesn't fuck up the launch like the Galaxy Nexus...

Thursday, July 11, 2013 10:06:13 PM from Twitter Web Client

WILL HAVE NEW PHONE BY SEPTEMBER #MotoX: http://t.co/qoo23ul22C

Thursday, July 11, 2013 10:05:09 PM from Twitter Web Client

Jesus Christ Dave Robertson, you twitter slut. Unfollowing!

Thursday, July 11, 2013 05:26:52 PM from Twitter for Android

I've un-deaded my company. See, simple things can turn my "fuck off attitude" positive. Glad they realized that.

Thursday, July 11, 2013 03:36:21 PM from Twitter Web Client

Necesita Bau

Wednesday, July 10, 2013 06:49:10 PM from Twitter for Android

Why does Firefox have massive cocks all over it's shitty architecture? Crashes every 5 minutes.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013 02:22:19 PM from Twitter Web Client

I almost pulled a Joe Pesce, GoodFellas style on Derick for running his fucking mouth

Wednesday, July 10, 2013 12:21:27 PM from Twitter Web Client

@scoopANDslam YES. But maybe its not that obvious

In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet

Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:25:08 PM from Twitter for Android

Props to the Metro North conductor screaming "all aboard" out the door. I thought they only do that in movies

Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:18:57 PM from Twitter for Android

Beyond abysmal #booker

Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:14:53 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm sitting in a meeting talking about measuring performance of something without client requirements. #winning

Tuesday, July 09, 2013 02:52:36 PM from Twitter for Android

PetSmart is the fuckin devil

Tuesday, July 09, 2013 01:24:09 PM from Twitter Web Client

I have an unhealthy Dave Grohl obsession

Monday, July 08, 2013 10:46:53 PM from Twitter for Android