"I could feed on those for hours. Giuseppe must abuse them" - @ja5la

Saturday, July 20, 2013 02:34:23 PM from Twitter for Android

I accidentally pasted one of my tweets into a config file. It was about sexting. oops

Friday, July 19, 2013 03:16:48 PM from Twitter Web Client

Bralic

Thursday, July 18, 2013 09:22:44 PM from Twitter for Android

@badpointer I'll fuckin tweet right now motherfucker

Thursday, July 18, 2013 09:18:53 PM from Twitter for Android

Kevin was dying about how I explained Lauren to him

Thursday, July 18, 2013 09:17:51 PM from Twitter for Android

You're not ruining my night you jealous assed motherfucker eat my dick

Thursday, July 18, 2013 08:51:06 PM from Twitter for Android

This devil mother fucker made me spill his beer on the pool table. Fuckin waste of $7

Thursday, July 18, 2013 08:31:44 PM from Twitter for Android

My own prison is on. #creed. #hatethebandlovethesong

Thursday, July 18, 2013 08:12:05 PM from Twitter for Android

Freddy: "can I get a giant all beef hot dog?"

Thursday, July 18, 2013 07:24:33 PM from Twitter for Android

ok so not only did I kick their keg upstairs, I went back to my desk and Stein told me I smelled like a brewery

Thursday, July 18, 2013 06:10:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

Pitcher 2: The irony is that I'm brining this beer to the meeting I got thrown out of yesterday.

Thursday, July 18, 2013 05:13:45 PM from Twitter for Android

Direct order from my boss: "Go upstairs and get us a pitcher of beer for the meeting"

Thursday, July 18, 2013 04:37:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Just got thrown out of a meeting

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 04:08:48 PM from Twitter Web Client

“Dude remember that time you fucked like 40 strippers and your wife still said you were an amazing husband? You motherfucker.” @KFCBarstool

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 03:11:22 PM from Buffer

But why hasn't the Motorola X been announced yet?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:52:50 PM from Twitter Web Client