Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

New blog post: You've Gotta Be Outside Your Mind To Be a Paid Sober Companion http://t.co/TE44G8gemh

I look hot today. I'd tap me

A touch of the gay for Dave Grohl is a bit of an understatement

But why does this piece of shit phone say I have full 3 G but not load webpages? POS

Son of a bitch. They made me a Foursquare Superuser and I've been up all night correcting shit

I have nothing to say, so I figured I'd tweet about it

@kfcbarstool quote: "You can take that phone and and check my dick in on 4 Square for all I care. I’m the mayor of that pussy girl!"

Our building really needs to turn off this fucking Windows 3.1 dinging fire alarm

@Waspito feel better. That's the worst. You wake up and its fine, then it sucks. My Dr didn't give me any good shit either

In reply to @Waspito's tweet

Lower Manhattan is a fuckin shithole

Ran into a Bynes doppelganger. Head half shaved and all

#RoyalBaby is so fucking insignificant it's not even funny. It's one human out of 8 billion. Get over yourselves

Just rebooted a production server and in the server log asking why I did the reboot, I wrote "VPN was being a dick"

May I ask what the fuck is the purpose of a living, immobile, hermaphroditic rock? And why would Chileans eat it? http://t.co/ukCW1Q72pu

Carlos Danger for Mayor!