Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

False alarm. Its fine... Also, Verizon outage in my hood. Confirmed on 2 other phones

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. This piece of shit Moto X doesn't have inline mic support on the headphone jack? No square, jawbone up.

For my first tweet on my new Moto X, I'd like to point out that I hate my fat fuckin double chin

RT @KFCBarstool: Hannah McKay is so sexy I'd 100% risk her poisoning me to death just for a chance to hit it #Dexter

Fucking @VZWSupport. Whose dick do I have to suck to activate a phone? Their automated system refuses to activate this thing

The elevators at 22 Cortlandt are slower than your mom

It's not my fault I can't look at your face if your nips are that perky through your clothes.

Yo Twitter: @Colithika is my MANG

Protip: listen to Brent Ozar. @GetBooker

Protip: don't do the power hour with champagne. (1) You'll run out by like the 15th minute (2) The reflux is the worst

The money and alcohol the life of a west side playa

Hold the phone... This new software may have fixed these ass radios in my phone. Just tweeted from Crestwood where there's always no service

I don't think its remotely possible to get dealt a worse off hand in candy crush. Didn't clear one jelly the whole time

New blog post: Lenovo CEO Shares Bonus With Employees; Big Fucking Deal http://t.co/jxTct1J7b7

New blog post: A History Lesson To Mr. Barack Hussein Obama http://bit.ly/17u4piK