Just blocked event invites on Facebook from Becky Karen Meza on the grounds that I don't give a fuck about your 5000 fitness events

Friday, August 23, 2013 01:37:57 AM from Twitter Web Client

I'm the gayest for steel drums

Thursday, August 22, 2013 08:22:02 PM from Twitter for Android

Whoever's got the herbs up in this bitch. Sheeeeeit

Thursday, August 22, 2013 07:11:21 PM from Twitter for Android

Cheeseburger in paradise bitches

Thursday, August 22, 2013 06:08:01 PM from Twitter for Android

¿En los jorts?

Thursday, August 22, 2013 05:06:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Get a load of this old stud mackin it on the grannies http://t.co/M6xnhpZRWw

Thursday, August 22, 2013 04:57:33 PM from Twitter for Android

My reaction to motherfuckers who disagree with how I run the build system http://t.co/Tq018XWyK0

Thursday, August 22, 2013 02:21:52 PM from Twitter for Android

BS. I'm fat & the least calm RT @uberfacts People who remain calm in stressful situations tend to have higher rates of depression &obesity

In reply to @UberFacts's tweet

Thursday, August 22, 2013 11:24:16 AM from Twitter Web Client

OH. MY. GOD. Kids on the train. SHUT THE FUCK UP

Thursday, August 22, 2013 11:22:41 AM from Twitter Web Client

8AM rollout on my day off

Thursday, August 22, 2013 08:48:59 AM from Twitter Web Client

Going to Boston for like one night. My mom gives me a surgical mask to bring. THE FUCK.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013 09:53:24 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just found out the George Washington Bridge cuts through Manhattan. Mind. Blown.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013 09:52:25 PM from Twitter Web Client

Is it fall yet?

Wednesday, August 21, 2013 07:22:51 PM from Twitter for Android

The entire RackSpace cloud is a piece of shit. Fuck their cloud servers, fuck OpenStack, fuck their block storage, fuck it all

Wednesday, August 21, 2013 05:53:18 PM from Twitter Web Client

Spoiler alert: 95% of this week's Dexter was sexual tension and him banging Hannah. 5% were actual plot events

Tuesday, August 20, 2013 11:53:59 PM from Twitter for Android