Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

I am Zoney McZonerson today

RT @KFCBarstool: Its supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow. Fuck that shit. I'm done with summer weather. Mother nature you fickle slut

Yoooooooo

"It feels like we're in Boardwalk Empire right now."

"Joke's on you man... I'm getting you an ez-wider denim cap" -@MalJNew

WHERE'S MY BAU?

Smells like jello in this bathroom. Also looks like the chamber of secrets. Thought I tweeted this before, but guess I didnt

Mal. You can't wear that red skirt in the office and strut dat ass around without me wanting to bite it. Ya heard?

This place is a fucking circus http://t.co/PfNWLxUsxC

New blog post: This is an Idiotic Study Regarding Texting and Lying http://bit.ly/184MCkj

DBAs just added an email trigger every time there's a deadlock on production. I'm getting fucking spammed. Piece of shit system...

Cheers to this fucking idiot. Paid my credit card twice. Now I have a positive balance

Azarenka you dirty minx! I see you struttin dat ass, waiting for a serve. If barstool doesn't post a gif of it, I give up!

This Azarenka chick playing Serena at the U.S Open sounds like she's fucking every time she his the ball. Probably a savage in bed

Listening to Nirvana Unplugged. Fantastic album, taking a great walk. Lovin life