THAT TIME THE SERVERS ARE SO FUCKED UP YOUR PHONE IS GETTING TEXTED ONCE EVERY 10 SECONDS. I SHUT IT OFF
Thursday, October 03, 2013 12:57:50 PM from Twitter Web Client
The first photograph ever taken looked like shit: http://t.co/hE9YJra8PF Guy should have been ashamed of the quality....
Thursday, October 03, 2013 11:24:50 AM from Twitter Web Client
Someone's gf, regarding her bf of over a year: "Yeah he might be gay, but he has such a big dick"
Wednesday, October 02, 2013 08:21:51 PM from Twitter for Android
"I'd like to get back to my weight back when I had hepatitis"
Wednesday, October 02, 2013 08:04:42 PM from Twitter for Android
I need to estivate. Summer is too damn hot! RT @uberfacts Sleeping through hot and dry periods like summer is called estivation.
Wednesday, October 02, 2013 04:27:15 PM from Twitter Web Client
My to do list is Re God Damn Diculous
Wednesday, October 02, 2013 12:46:21 PM from Twitter Web Client
Just made my work Skype profile pic Barstool's MikeFrancesa Numbah One T-Shirt
Wednesday, October 02, 2013 12:06:20 PM from Twitter Web Client
MIND. BLOWN. Just found out that green and blue Monster energy drinks are the same flavor but one is low carb. OOPS
Tuesday, October 01, 2013 04:25:58 PM from Twitter Web Client
For fucks sake. We finally fixed our twitter integration on this app... Been busted sine last November
Yep. Day I have a sensitive stomach, my train has a flat tire on a washboard track
Tuesday, October 01, 2013 08:08:58 AM from Twitter for Android
Oh God I need to make it through this train ride without yacking
Tuesday, October 01, 2013 08:06:37 AM from Twitter for Android
I mean... If the US government shut down, why do I have to work?
Tuesday, October 01, 2013 07:58:24 AM from Twitter for Android
Happy October, bitches
Tuesday, October 01, 2013 12:00:12 AM from Twitter Web Client
#bitches You can't get more top notch than I am. Fuck all you suits who think you know it all.
Monday, September 30, 2013 11:59:05 PM from Twitter Web Client
Our facebook app was broken. Came home from the bar. Bitch on call had no clue. CTO said we couldn't be drunk and I fixed it anyway. SUCK IT
Monday, September 30, 2013 11:38:14 PM from Twitter Web Client