If the system does not crash once this week, I'll grow a neck beard, wear jorts and a rock a beater on Monday. Confident I won't have to.

Monday, October 07, 2013 02:09:27 AM from Twitter for Android

@KFCBarstool Not as bad as Dexter becoming a lumberjack and stealing a dead body from the morgue

In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet

Monday, October 07, 2013 01:11:42 AM from Twitter Web Client

My aunt: "She looks like an old hooker"

Sunday, October 06, 2013 07:48:59 PM from Twitter for Android

"Let me tickle your flapjacks" -@MalJNew

Sunday, October 06, 2013 02:46:34 AM from Twitter for Android

Alina's mom isn't a milf. She's a certified milf.

Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:29:31 PM from Twitter for Android

Is that out of suspicion, or knowledge?

Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:18:42 PM from Twitter for Android

Alina's mom has got it going on

Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:15:21 PM from Twitter for Android

Alina's mom is a smokeshow

Saturday, October 05, 2013 09:35:59 PM from Twitter for Android

Hmmm. Pretty sober. Wonder where my credit card is. Haven't used it in days and it's MIA

Saturday, October 05, 2013 02:09:09 AM from Twitter for Android

I wish there was a jerking off emoji so I can tweet it at the CTO and tell him I'm at the bar while on call.

Saturday, October 05, 2013 12:14:08 AM from Twitter for Android

I am soley responsible for getting jeans to the bar. Suck it @lennon

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:55:18 PM from Twitter for Android

Couldn't be happier

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:53:53 PM from Twitter for Android

We want jeans

Friday, October 04, 2013 11:01:15 PM from Twitter for Android

House tequila can suck my dick

Friday, October 04, 2013 10:01:33 PM from Twitter for Android

OMG. Old school SpaBooker. It doesn't get any better than this. Velba, @maljnew, Sam, Velba, @Lennon, Dwai, Elise #suitssuck #bookersucks

Friday, October 04, 2013 09:26:08 PM from Twitter for Android