My mom just called me at work. Topics included Masters and Johnson, the carnival in my town, vacation days, my lunch and an interview

Monday, October 14, 2013 01:20:35 PM from Twitter Web Client

Just spotted this on Reddit. I imagine this is what keeps our servers running: http://t.co/LSsEUox50w

Sunday, October 13, 2013 11:45:49 PM from Twitter Web Client

Comicon chicks must be the kinkiest. Like DTF to the max

Sunday, October 13, 2013 04:18:38 PM from Twitter for Android

HEY YOU VINES!!!!!! http://t.co/ib0IbQMNut

Sunday, October 13, 2013 03:33:15 PM from Instagram

What's the over/under Gaurav shit his pants at work?

Sunday, October 13, 2013 02:38:25 PM from Twitter for Android

I think I accidentally got drunk

Sunday, October 13, 2013 02:24:52 PM from Twitter for Android

I poop a lot

Sunday, October 13, 2013 11:03:48 AM from Twitter for Android

Fixing problems at #Booker: "well, then, i believe i know the issue, and that's that i need to take a tire iron to Nikolay"

Friday, October 11, 2013 04:45:15 PM from Twitter Web Client

Statistics prove that Firefox is a fucking piece of shit. http://t.co/P02gIFqyPb

Friday, October 11, 2013 01:47:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

The front end dev who rips ass all the time is now talking about drinking breast milk. #THEFUCK

Friday, October 11, 2013 10:10:11 AM from Twitter Web Client

For sure not RT @uberfacts Cuddling with a teddy bear releases the same amount of endorphins as having sex - Putting you in a good mood.

Thursday, October 10, 2013 02:08:52 PM from Twitter Web Client

I'm gassier than Gaurav today

Thursday, October 10, 2013 02:08:26 PM from Twitter Web Client

I 100% guarantee you we cannot lose Derick. He's 100% fucking filling us like a lapdog

Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:55:37 PM from Twitter for Android

@Lennon take it off Lennon

Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:21:46 PM from Twitter for Android