I'm sorry, but 90s Alternative Pandora is like the best music possible
Saturday, October 19, 2013 04:37:14 PM from Twitter for Android
Why is there no motherfuckin food anywhere near this plave
Friday, October 18, 2013 11:52:51 PM from Twitter for Android
Iight dude. stop bending your fingers in possessed assed ways. we know you're straight out of the exorcist
Friday, October 18, 2013 11:05:22 PM from Twitter for Android
There's only one solution for this malocchio. Guys gotta disappear
Friday, October 18, 2013 10:24:31 PM from Twitter for Android
And the cops are here again
Friday, October 18, 2013 09:54:24 PM from Twitter for Android
Welp. They're gonna sing Pony at karaoke. This is a song you're supposed to like, fuck to or something
Friday, October 18, 2013 09:52:41 PM from Twitter for Android
Never have I ever taken a shit on a Metro North train (and I shit a lot)
Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:05:10 PM from Twitter for Android
Wait. shit this isn't funny. He's really pissed at me
Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:25:59 PM from Twitter for Android
me: "Oh fuck. I just got a server alert and I'm on call. I don't have my laptop. Eh its fine, no one will know. Kev: "JOE!!! I'M YOUR BOSS"
Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:15:45 PM from Twitter for Android
"Shots!!! ON MY GAP CARD. Because its colorful" @MalJNew
Thursday, October 17, 2013 09:05:37 PM from Twitter for Android
JON LESTAH, THE DODGIZZZ CAN SCRATCH OUT A RUN AND DELIVAH #NUMBAHONE
Thursday, October 17, 2013 01:13:12 PM from Twitter Web Client
@GadsdenMarc Cuncel 'Murica
Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:36:09 PM from Twitter for Android
"UGH. look at all those moles" "Yeah. She didn't age well"
Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:33:20 PM from Twitter for Android
This one time, I picked my fingernail and put it in my belly button. Found it three days later #barstoolconfessions
Wednesday, October 16, 2013 07:54:11 PM from Twitter Web Client